BrownHairedGuy Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 (edited) A couple things happened this week that made me feel a little better about everything. First, I talked to someone that used to work at the hospital my wife works at. He said that this affair between my wife and a single Doctor will probably really hurt both their careers but especially his. That nothing will happen as far as HR but for the Doctor it will nearly kill his reputation, and that hospitals are like high school bc it's mostly women so it's gossip all the time. All the other girls will always see my wife as a threat to their husbands/bfs and not want to be around her or trust she doesn't run off with someone else. That affairs are common in hospital settings but rarely a good thing for those involved since they kind of get exiled from everyone else. I would bet almost anything this guy slept with married women at his other hospital, the only difference is this is the first one that's gotten caught and had a divorce become public at the hospital. It will be interesting if this really does blow up in his face. A day later a nurse that used to be friends with my wife contacted me to check in. She's talked to people that worked with the Doctor in the past and heard that he's a snake and a ... That my wife hasn't told anyone about the divorce but that everyone knows and talks about her behind her back and thinks she's a dumbass for falling for this guy. Felt nice to hear the things the guy that used to work there say, and then a day later find out that this is already starting to happen with my wife at her work. She's tried to keep her affair in the dark but when you do so many ****ty things there's only so much you can sweep under the rug. Edited February 25, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2
jenkins95 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 (edited) A couple things happened this week that made me feel a little better about everything. First, I talked to someone that used to work at the hospital my wife works at. He said that this affair between my wife and a single Doctor will probably really hurt both their careers but especially his. That nothing will happen as far as HR but for the Doctor it will nearly kill his reputation, and that hospitals are like high school bc it's mostly women so it's gossip all the time. All the other girls will always see my wife as a threat to their husbands/bfs and not want to be around her or trust she doesn't run off with someone else. That affairs are common in hospital settings but rarely a good thing for those involved since they kind of get exiled from everyone else. I would bet almost anything this guy slept with married women at his other hospital, the only difference is this is the first one that's gotten caught and had a divorce become public at the hospital. It will be interesting if this really does blow up in his face. A day later a nurse that used to be friends with my wife contacted me to check in. She's talked to people that worked with the Doctor in the past and heard that he's a snake and a man whore. That my wife hasn't told anyone about the divorce but that everyone knows and talks about her behind her back and thinks she's a dumbass for falling for this guy. Felt nice to hear the things the guy that used to work there say, and then a day later find out that this is already starting to happen with my wife at her work. She's tried to keep her affair in the dark but when you do so many ****ty things there's only so much you can sweep under the rug. Hey BHG! Good to hear from you again! Wow, they are getting themselves in such a mess. It is difficult to see how this won't blow up on them one day. The doctor sounds like a real snake piece of work who knows how to turn the charm on when it suits him - seems like he has form. It sounds like you are better off on your own away from all this mess, at least for now. But one question....... if this does go quickly bad, she sees the error of her ways, and then comes running back to you saying she's so sorry and wants to try again...... would you take her back? Could you forgive her? How are you in general anyway? I know all this happened very recently and you won't be feeling any better yet. Things are so raw. But stay strong and keep putting one foot in front of the other. You will get better. Try to think of you and your recovery - she is in the fog at the moment and sounds beyond reach for now. She can only see good in him at the moment and is blind to his faults. Hopefully she'll come out of it before very long and see what she is doing. Keep posting! Edited February 25, 2016 by jenkins95
Author BrownHairedGuy Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 Hey BHG! Good to hear from you again! Wow, they are getting themselves in such a mess. It is difficult to see how this won't blow up on them one day. The doctor sounds like a real snake piece of work who knows how to turn the charm on when it suits him - seems like he has form. It sounds like you are better off on your own away from all this mess, at least for now. But one question....... if this does go quickly bad, she sees the error of her ways, and then comes running back to you saying she's so sorry and wants to try again...... would you take her back? Could you forgive her? How are you in general anyway? I know all this happened very recently and you won't be feeling any better yet. Things are so raw. But stay strong and keep putting one foot in front of the other. You will get better. Try to think of you and your recovery - she is in the fog at the moment and sounds beyond reach for now. She can only see good in him at the moment and is blind to his faults. Hopefully she'll come out of it before very long and see what she is doing. Keep posting! Absolutely not. Even if i wanted to i can't for two reasons. 1. My family hates her, and i couldn't be married to someone my family hates. 2. She's not the type of person to admit when she has made a mistake, especially one of this magnitude. I know she will never show remorse to me for what she did. I've also found out things about her through the divorce that makes me feel like i barely knew the person i was a partner with for 6 years, which is pretty scary. I've been doing alright. I had a couple weeks there where i was in a really good place. Around Valentine's Day though I kind of relapsed a little but I'm coming around again and getting back to the good place.
aliveagain Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Given enough time, she will just become another face in the crowd, I can testify to that. A day will come when she isn't the first thing or last thing you think about in your day. There will come a time when you don't think of her at all. Time heals all. The sooner you begin your own life the sooner the healing begins. Read the 180 over and over and over again, make it your mantra. Most of us have been where you are now, you will survive this, you just have to go through it until your on the other side. 3
LifesontheUp Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Absolutely not. Even if i wanted to i can't for two reasons. 1. My family hates her, and i couldn't be married to someone my family hates. 2. She's not the type of person to admit when she has made a mistake, especially one of this magnitude. I know she will never show remorse to me for what she did. I've also found out things about her through the divorce that makes me feel like i barely knew the person i was a partner with for 6 years, which is pretty scary. I've been doing alright. I had a couple weeks there where i was in a really good place. Around Valentine's Day though I kind of relapsed a little but I'm coming around again and getting back to the good place. BHG I wrote on your other post. But just wanted to say that while it probably makes you feel a bit better to hear this, the best revenge in my opinion is to live your life and move on. You will get to the point as aliveagain says that shes another face in the crowd - she will no longer have any effect on you. In the meantime, get living your life, its too precious to waste on thinking about her 1
Author BrownHairedGuy Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 BHG I wrote on your other post. But just wanted to say that while it probably makes you feel a bit better to hear this, the best revenge in my opinion is to live your life and move on. You will get to the point as aliveagain says that shes another face in the crowd - she will no longer have any effect on you. In the meantime, get living your life, its too precious to waste on thinking about her I agree wholeheartedly! I guess it just makes me feel better that I have thought this guy was a POS for courting a married woman, and from the sound of it that's exactly what he is. I guess it just feels good to know a lot of the people she works with knows the truth of what happened. But yes you are right, time to move forward with my life! 3
aliveagain Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I agree wholeheartedly! I guess it just makes me feel better that I have thought this guy was a POS for courting a married woman, and from the sound of it that's exactly what he is. I guess it just feels good to know a lot of the people she works with knows the truth of what happened. But yes you are right, time to move forward with my life! Yes he may be a POS but in the end it was up to your wife to protect your back when you weren't there to do it yourself. All she had to do is say no. 2
drifter777 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I don't believe in Kharma - it implies that the world is fair and that things work out in the end. What I do believe is that bad things happen to good people & good things happen to bad people but the odds are not in a "bad" person's favor. Like the more you cheat and lie the more likely you are to lie down with swine and get covered in pig poop. Stands to reason that people of high character attract more people of high character improving their chances of having more positive life experiences. Your WW might find another guy like you with a good character but a weakness for broken women. Maybe she'll clean up her act or maybe he won't mind sharing her with OM. Regardless, it has nothing to do with Kharma and certainly has nothing to do with you. Let her go and move on.
Whoknew30 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Honestly, I wouldn't pay too much attention to the hospital gossip. I worked in a hospital for a long time & A run rampant. If the Dr is a good enough, they can get away with pretty much anything, let's face it...if a Dr saves lives, no one really cares what he's doing in his personal life. I know she hurt you & one day that will be her cross to bear. In the long run, this works out better for you bc if & when things would have ever gotten tough, she would not be the one you want in your fox hole. Take some time to mourn your loss but be happy you dodged a bullet!
whichwayisup Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 I agree, if this Dr is good at his job and is respected professionally, it won't matter what he does (did) in his personal life, aka the affair at the hospital. Affairs happen a lot in certain fields, so it's doubtful his life is ruined because of it. 1
Marc878 Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 It's never easy but you just need to get to a place of indifference to her. There is no life worth living with someone like this. Chance are he'll dump her after he's got what he wanted but it really doesn't matter. Why? Because there are better out there and that's where your future lies. You are lucky that you don't have more time or kids invested.
bubbaganoosh Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 I'm just wondering now that it's out in the open, everyone knows, her marriage down the drain if she has had the chance to sit back and wonder if a few tumbles in the sack was worth it.
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 (edited) Oh good grief...This old chestnut again...? Karma. It's not what you think it is. You may have heard of 'Moab is my Washpot'.... well, Karma is my Soapbox. Edited February 26, 2016 by TaraMaiden2 1
elaine567 Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 Honestly, I wouldn't pay too much attention to the hospital gossip. I worked in a hospital for a long time & A run rampant. If the Dr is a good enough, they can get away with pretty much anything, let's face it...if a Dr saves lives, no one really cares what he's doing in his personal life. Agreed, no-one cares a damn about cheating doctors or nurses in hospitals. Hospitals are perfect breeding grounds for affairs, long hours, close working relationships, intense situations that build bonds, plenty of male/female banter and camaraderie and IME a pretty open attitude to most things that happen too. Hospitals deal with all sorts, so have seen it all. They are not usually places that will get all judgemental and start tut tutting over an affair.
puzzleddad67 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 (edited) Life does get back to something sort of normal. It takes a while. Since you dont have kids. Get yourself a 4K TV, a surround sound and a ridiculous subwoofer then Netflix Battle Los Angeles and other movies featuring lots of things blowing up. That and some good beer. Oh and she did find him cheating on her. I posted on your other thread. Edited February 29, 2016 by puzzleddad67
Poutrew Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Oh good grief...This old chestnut again...? Karma. It's not what you think it is. You may have heard of 'Moab is my Washpot'.... well, Karma is my Soapbox. Karma may not exist, but this universe is governed by the equal sign. Actions have consequences. Good actions usually have positive consequences, and bad actions usually have negative ones. That's just a Universal Law... Wifey will eventually discover Newton's 3rd law without going back to school....
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Karma may not exist, but this universe is governed by the equal sign. Actions have consequences. Good actions usually have positive consequences, and bad actions usually have negative ones. That's just a Universal Law... Wifey will eventually discover Newton's 3rd law without going back to school.... Erm...Exactly....? (bolded section).. That's exactly what Karma is. And we're all without exception, subject to it, in everything we think, say and do. Newton's 3rd Law is not quite correct. "Every Action has an Equal AND OPPOSITE reaction" which implies good actions will result in bad consequences, and V-V. However, the saying "No good deed goes unpunished" is also partially true.
Mr Mind of Shazam Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Glad to hear it, but the Karma train is very unreliable. Never count on it. Move on and take care of yourself.
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Glad to hear it, but the Karma train is very unreliable. Never count on it. Move on and take care of yourself. Au contraire. The Karma train is totally reliable. But completely unpredictable.
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