mortensorchid Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 What do you tell a person when you're just not interested? I have someone who is making moves towards me and quite honestly, I'm just not interested in him. Won't get into how/why but I'm just not. Surely this has happened to someone else out there.
frustr8ed Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 "Don't mean to be a douche, but I'm not interested. Sorry." Don't give the "like you as a friend speech because he'll think he can win you over" and still wont go away. As a dude I prefer and appreciate blunt honesty when it comes to stuff like this. 4
yxalitis Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 "Don't mean to be a douche, but I'm not interested. Sorry." Don't give the "like you as a friend speech because he'll think he can win you over" and still wont go away. As a dude I prefer and appreciate blunt honesty when it comes to stuff like this. Oh GOD, I so wish woman could be more direct... But...there are traps with every approach. I think the key is to say you're not interested...then simply stop replying. I have dated so many woman who happily chat, reply to every text, give indirect confirmations of a follow on date...but never actually firm up a time, and eventuality just give up. Sometimes they even do this before the FIRST date...! Say you're not interested, stop replying. THIS IS WHAT US GUYS WANT!
deckard11 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I concur with don't give him the "I like you as a friend" or my personal favorite "any girl would be lucky to have a guy like you" crap that women give men all the time. Just be brutally honest and tell him why you aren't interested in him. 1
Zippy2000 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 You need a reason for the person to move on. Something such as: "Sorry your not what Im looking for". or, just tell hime straight "Im not interested". I have many female friends who use the lets be friends first phrase. Such a phrase gives the person hope. I had one femail fiend who would tell the guys direct so there would be no working their way round. Just tell the truth and if he doesnt like it then thats his problem not yours.
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 "Please don't take this badly, and I won't repeat myself, but honestly, I'm not interested." That drives the message home, I think. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 What do you tell a person when you're just not interested? I have someone who is making moves towards me and quite honestly, I'm just not interested in him. Won't get into how/why but I'm just not. Surely this has happened to someone else out there. Has this person actually asked you out?
Toodaloo Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Sorry but I am not interested in a relationship with you. Normally works. If you need to be more forceful be more forceful but a polite no thank you is normally enough. 2
thecrucible Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I'm really sorry but I don't like you in that kind of way. I don't patronise or say "I'm sure you will find a lady just perfect for you" or "you are awesome. Any lady would be lucky to have you". I think my first sentence is fine because it's a statement of fact, not a value judgement.
smackie9 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Guy hitting you? You can do the direct approach like everyone said, or you can mention the date you are going on this weekend that you are excited about or the guy you have been seeing, you have a BF....like guys who ride Harleys, etc.
truth_seeker Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 Go on his appearance. If he's bald, tell him you you only date men with hair... if he has hair, tell him you only date bald men... if he's white, tell him you only date black guys... you get the idea...
RecentChange Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 I met a perfectly "nice" guy once, who I genuinely enjoyed having conversations with etc.... But zero attraction (not even a bad looking guy, it's just not there sometimes). Any way, I told him exactly that "I enjoy chatting with you, but, the attraction just isn't there for me. I am fickle and its not something you can really control!" I told him he was welcome to hang out and chat if he sees me around, as long as he can respect my position. He said he really appreciated the honesty. 1
Maggie4 Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 If he asks me out, I say "No". Other than that, silence, no reply.
OpenBook Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 Say something to the effect of "I'm just not feeling it here" - in a kindly Andy-Griffith-Mayberry tone. 1
truth_seeker Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 If he asks me out, I say "No". Other than that, silence, no reply. This a phone call? What about in person? You just act silent?
Maggie4 Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 This a phone call? What about in person? You just act silent? Yeah, phone call or text. If in person I avoid contact. Definitely wouldn't be chatty. Also can't smile. Smiling too much gives the wrong impression.
neowulf Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 I think a lot of women have shied away from the "direct approach" due to how badly some men seem to take it. They say they want honesty, then blowup when they get it. In the end, being polite, clear and direct is the best policy. "Sorry, you seem like a great guy, but I'm just not interested".
EatYourVeggies Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 I have many female friends who use the lets be friends first phrase. Such a phrase gives the person hope. Wow. It really amazes me that never in recorded history has a man ever been successful going from either their gay best friend or the friendzone to actually getting the girl. Yet, they still double down and offer and in many cases LEAD with it. Last time I checked the pool was around $123,342,050 for the first guy who ever slays that dragon. I'm waiting till it's over $300 Million. Any of you single ladies interested in splitting it with me? Let's fast forward 3 years of the friendzone and cash that baby in!
truth_seeker Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 Yeah, phone call or text. If in person I avoid contact. Definitely wouldn't be chatty. Also can't smile. Smiling too much gives the wrong impression. I'm just trying to figure out when this behavior is rejecting someone versus being shy and intimidated. I had a woman stare the hell out of me for the longest time. Never smile. Just long, intense stares... sometimes blow right by me and not give me time of day... you would think, not interested. One day she spoke to me and I found out she really liked me.
Maggie4 Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 I'm just trying to figure out when this behavior is rejecting someone versus being shy and intimidated. I had a woman stare the hell out of me for the longest time. Never smile. Just long, intense stares... sometimes blow right by me and not give me time of day... you would think, not interested. One day she spoke to me and I found out she really liked me. Staring is always a sign of interest. That why if a woman want to reject a man, she should not gaze into his eyes, lick her lips and in a breathy voice murmur "I'm not interested."
EatYourVeggies Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 (edited) Staring is always a sign of interest. That why if a woman want to reject a man, she should not gaze into his eyes, lick her lips and in a breathy voice murmur "I'm not interested." I'm guess I'm old fashioned and stick with what has always worked. "If they want to be with you, they will." When I ask her out and she declines or if she informs me that she is busy and after another attempt does not propose alternate dates you would have to either be really desperate with no pride, really really stupid or an axe murderer to see that she is not interested. Edited February 26, 2016 by EatYourVeggies
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