snailz Posted June 12, 2005 Posted June 12, 2005 I feel so sad at the moment when really i should be happy ive been sleeping with this lad for over a year now, we were friends for a while then just kind of got together and everything seemed like it was going well he was so lovely and we enjoyed being together however he said he didnt want a relationship but over time things could change. after about 11 months everything was just the same so i stopped sleeping with him did the no contact thing. Two months later he started following me about (literally from place to place) saying he missed me and he hoped we could be friends, i was fine with that but then of course he kept trying it on all the time and being so nice and so loving- i thought maybe things had changed and we started sleeping together again. things were going well for a short while, he was being different, telling my friends he liked me, saying stuff like i was the perfect girlfriend etc, then he went weird again and avoided me. Now this is where i should be happy, ive met this lovely lad who treats me so well, hes nice looking and WANTS a relationship, im attracted to him and know he wont mess me around but last night i went back to my ex's after not seeing him for a couple of weeks, i didnt have sex with him even though he kept trying to, so instead we just lay there and he told me he loved me but doesnt want a relationship because he thinks we dont get along???? and we bicker- i dont think this. So now i have this new guy in my life but why cant i stop thinking about my ex?? when all he does is mess me about, i know that in a few weeks down the line he'll be back saying he misses me. How can i move on from him and be happy with someone else? and how can you sleep with someone for over a year and it not mean anything? do you think he does care about me really? i feel so hurt and sad, i just want these feelings to go away so i can get over him. Thanks x
westernxer Posted June 12, 2005 Posted June 12, 2005 Sleeping with him meant something to you, but not to him. If you wanna continue sleeping with him, go ahead, since that's what he's used to. But if you wanna get over him, you've gotta stop talking to him. He says he loves you just so he can get you in the sack. That's why he stalks you... he's horny. Once a booty call, always a booty call.
Author snailz Posted June 12, 2005 Author Posted June 12, 2005 omg so you think he never cared for me at all? i dont understand how you can sleep with someone for over a year and it not mean anything? even if other girls came along who he had a chance with he would always come back with me. maybe you are right, maybe hes more heart-less than what i thought.
westernxer Posted June 12, 2005 Posted June 12, 2005 You've made it too easy for him, and it's all he wants. Unfortunately, you developed feelings for him, which usually happens to one of the two. He doesn't care for you in the slightest, unless he's in you. If he did care, he'd be doing all the things guys do when they're in love. Move on. The other lad is probably all the things this guy isn't, except that you don't like the him as much as you do the player. Keep getting played if you want, but nothing's gonna change. Your "friend" is one lucky guy. Drive-thru service for 11 months...
rmo2380 Posted June 12, 2005 Posted June 12, 2005 ill have to agree with westerner, hes hit the nail right on the head. he might of cared about you however but was afraid of commitment. and since yall were sleepin together it became more of a physical relationships. and them relationships dont usually work because one or the other tends to get attached like ya did in this situation. dont contact him if you want to get played. stick with the new man because hes probably the better man for you. good luck
Author snailz Posted June 13, 2005 Author Posted June 13, 2005 Thanks for your advice, im really going to try and move on from him, its just hurting so much at the moment especially because he keeps showing up every place i go, how long do you think it will take before these painful feelings stop? is there anything i can do to speed it along a bit. i know im being daft getting upset and i really dont want anything to do with him anymore but i miss him so much already. Ive just booked a week away to see friends in spain so maybe that will help a bit and when i get back i can try and make things work with ben- the new guy in my life.
westernxer Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by snailz ..is there anything i can do to speed it along a bit. Tell him to respect your wishes and keep away.
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