RobTaylor10 Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 So my ex and I broke up and 3 weeks later she had a new boyfriend. After all the memories and all the love we shared, it seemed like it was all just thrown away so quickly. 3 weeks seemed so quick and her new boyfriend is different. Although the new guy and I share some similar things, we are pretty much different people and have different lifestyles, etc. My ex also seems to post a lot of pictures of her and him, something she didn't really seem to do when we were together I thought because of this, her new guy could be a rebound, but I've come to the realization that its not. They've been dating for 3 months now. My friend even showed me a picture of them and she captioned it with an "I love you" so I guess its the real deal. I still would like to have some hope. I know most of you will tell me to move on and I'm trying, but has anyone been in a similar situation with an ex. Did the rebound turn into something greater? And did your ex ever come back even though it seemed like they wouldn't?
Redhead14 Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 So my ex and I broke up and 3 weeks later she had a new boyfriend. After all the memories and all the love we shared, it seemed like it was all just thrown away so quickly. 3 weeks seemed so quick and her new boyfriend is different. Although the new guy and I share some similar things, we are pretty much different people and have different lifestyles, etc. My ex also seems to post a lot of pictures of her and him, something she didn't really seem to do when we were together I thought because of this, her new guy could be a rebound, but I've come to the realization that its not. They've been dating for 3 months now. My friend even showed me a picture of them and she captioned it with an "I love you" so I guess its the real deal. I still would like to have some hope. I know most of you will tell me to move on and I'm trying, but has anyone been in a similar situation with an ex. Did the rebound turn into something greater? And did your ex ever come back even though it seemed like they wouldn't? My friend you may need to consider that that relationship started before the end of your relationship with her. And, if it didn't, the fact that they are still together at 3 months, doesn't mean it's not a rebound. In fact, it likely is. Did the rebound turn into something greater? -- That is yet to be seen.
Author RobTaylor10 Posted February 24, 2016 Author Posted February 24, 2016 You might be right. She contacted me a couple weeks ago saying she was sorry for everything that happened during the breakup. She said "there's so much you don't know and so much I want to say but just can't" That definitely leads the possibility of her seeing him behind my back. But I just don't know how it could still be a rebound. She always looks so happy and 3 months seems like a long time. Heck, he was gone or Christmas and she even flew up north just to see him for a couple days
Jim nine three Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 It may be a rebound,it may not.I believe that by keeping tabs on what photos she posts and with whom is not doing you any good.You should block her newsfeed and restrain yourself from making this more difficult for you. The fact that she texted you saying sorry and such definitely tells me she has feelings for you.However,that by itself means nothing as far as your relationship goes. Next time you talk,if you talk,state to her clearly what you want and move on.There is no point lingering on someone who is in a relationship with someone else and if she is not willing to be with you then you must find someone more worthy of your time! take care
Author RobTaylor10 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 Thanks for the reply. I am blocked and have blocked her as well. My friends usually tell me or show me pictures despite me asking them not to. I do plan if she contacts me again to tell her my intentions. I seek only a relationship with her. What happens then is up to her
Simon Phoenix Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I do plan if she contacts me again to tell her my intentions. I seek only a relationship with her. What happens then is up to her This is a waste of your breath. She's already aware of this. No more communication dude. 1
Blanco Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Some people just move on to the next one faster than others. My last girlfriend is in her early thirties and she's at the very least been hanging out with someone if not in an exclusive relationship basically since high school. Maybe a couple months at the absolute max where she wasn't at least casually dating someone. At this point, I would assume she's just not comfortable being single. We had a three-year relationship that started only about six months after she ended her four-year relationship with the father of her children. And she'd had a casual rebound going on in between us. She started seeing someone about two months after we ended things. At the time, it screamed "rebound bound to crash and burn." That was a year ago and I'm pretty sure they're still together. Thing about rebounds is that they're not always short-lived. You could argue I was a rebound to her and we wound up together for three years. Most would call her current guy a rebound and they've notched a year. Point is, you can't sit on your hands assuming that you'll run out the clock on this new relationship. It could last another day, or it could go another year. Maybe it doesn't end. And even if it does, there's no certainty she'd come back to you. My ex has reached out to me a few times in recent months. If I were to read between the lines, I could do the mental gymnastics to get to the conclusion that perhaps there's still some interest on her end. But trust me: This stuff just keeps you stuck and is ultimately a waste of time. 2
Chi townD Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Hate to say it, dude. But she breaks up with you and within 21 days she with someone else. Here's the rub, she dropped you for this other dude and she was probably cheating on you. She dropped you as soon as she learned that he was interested in entering a relationship with her, she threw you to the curb. Now, why the hell would you want to put your life on hold for someone like that? Dude, time to heal and move on. Lose that false hope you have because she's not worth your time. It's time to focus on you! 5
kztar Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Hate to say it, dude. But she breaks up with you and within 21 days she with someone else. Here's the rub, she dropped you for this other dude and she was probably cheating on you. She dropped you as soon as she learned that he was interested in entering a relationship with her, she threw you to the curb. Now, why the hell would you want to put your life on hold for someone like that? Dude, time to heal and move on. Lose that false hope you have because she's not worth your time. It's time to focus on you! AGREE. MOVE ON AND HEAL. Forget her, who wants someone like that anyway?.
geronimo Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Don't wait around my friend, trust me its the worst thing you can do to yourself, forget her and move on. I'm telling you from experience, ex and I dated for 5 years, and she jumped into another relationship right after we broke up. I also thought it was a rebound and thought she would come back sooner or later, guess what, its been over a year since we broke up and she has been with that guy for about a year now. I stopped waiting around a while ago, but I did waste a lot of f*cking time hoping it would be a rebound and that she would come back around eventually. Don't make the same mistakes I did. People are right with the advice they give on here, some people just can't be alone and when they find the next safe ship to jump to, they do and hang onto it until they can find something better. Your ex and my ex are those kinds of people, and tbh why would u want to be with someone who can't be real with you and is always looking for the next best thing, or to leave you if something shiny and new comes along. Trust me if she really wanted you back, she would reach out to you, but even then you gotta play it cool and make sure she is truly apologetic for what she did and is ready to make a real effort and commitment towards the relationship, otherwise you're just going to waste more time, been there done that. 1
elaine567 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 A rebound occurs when a person who is not over a relationship falls into another one. Heart broken and hurt, they merely substitute the new person for their ex. It doesn't usually work out because one day they realize the new person is not their ex and they never really gave themselves enough time to grieve for their old relationship. What often happens in a break up is that one person is not happy, they may have spent a long time mulling over breaking up, they have time to process the break up, they do their grieving whilst still in the relationship and before they tell the other person. So what then happens is that one person is completely devastated, blindsided and grieving and the other is ready to to move on. In your case your gf was ready to move on, so her new relationship is NOT a rebound, it is just a new relationship. She may or may not have known the guy before the split, she may or may not have cheated on you, but the day she broke up with you she was ready to form a new relationship, whereas you are still speaking and wondering about her 3 months later.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 So my ex and I broke up and 3 weeks later she had a new boyfriend. After all the memories and all the love we shared, it seemed like it was all just thrown away so quickly. 3 weeks seemed so quick and her new boyfriend is different. Although the new guy and I share some similar things, we are pretty much different people and have different lifestyles, etc. My ex also seems to post a lot of pictures of her and him, something she didn't really seem to do when we were together I thought because of this, her new guy could be a rebound, but I've come to the realization that its not. They've been dating for 3 months now. My friend even showed me a picture of them and she captioned it with an "I love you" so I guess its the real deal. I still would like to have some hope. I know most of you will tell me to move on and I'm trying, but has anyone been in a similar situation with an ex. Did the rebound turn into something greater? And did your ex ever come back even though it seemed like they wouldn't? I have been in your ex's shoes. I met someone about 6 weeks after ending a 5-year, live-in relationship. It was not a rebound, and i wound up staying in the new relationship for almost 8 years. And yes, it was a much more significant relationship than the previous. I say it wasn't a rebound because I'd already checked out of the previous relationship with my ex by the time we actually broke up. I just wasn't in love anymore and had already mentally moved on to be honest. I wasn't interested at all in going back to my ex. Her saying sorry doesn't mean she's coming back. She feels bad for hurting you. And there's probably more to the equation than you know; the new guy might have been in the picture before she broke up with you. Time to go full No Contact.
elaine567 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Her saying sorry doesn't mean she's coming back. She feels bad for hurting you. Yes, exes are not usually the evil, cruel, mad, heartless people that some paint them as, they are just people who are looking for a relationship that works FOR THEM, like everyone else. They may empathize but that does not mean they regret their decision or that they are coming back. This relationship with you wasn't working FOR HER so she moves on. I very much doubt that she is coming back and even if she did, revived relationships tend not to last long, as the same old issues raise their heads again anyway.
Author RobTaylor10 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 Thanks for your replies. I jut find it weird that she reached out, offered friendship but now if I see her at the store where she works, she wont make any eye contact with me at all or turns her back to the direction which im looking. She seems conflicted by something
Chi townD Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 You might be right. She contacted me a couple weeks ago saying she was sorry for everything that happened during the breakup. She said "there's so much you don't know and so much I want to say but just can't" That definitely leads the possibility of her seeing him behind my back. But I just don't know how it could still be a rebound. She always looks so happy and 3 months seems like a long time. Heck, he was gone or Christmas and she even flew up north just to see him for a couple days Okay, again..... She was cheating on you. "there's so much you don't know" Hint 1, there's more to the story than just a break up. " So much she wants to say but she can't" Hint 2, guilt is keeping her from telling you the truth. She doesn't want you to hate her and she doesn't want to see the pain in your eyes knowing that her actions and behavior is the cause of it. So, you're scratching your head and wondering why she wants to be friends. It's obvious when you think about it. One thing that MOST girls can't stand is thinking that there's a person on this planet that hates them or doesn't think they're a nice person. So, she's trying to get you into the friend zone for no other reason but to ease her guilt. She would want to say to herself, "Oh look! We're friends and civil to each other! We're okay and I still have this other guy. I guess the break up was for the best after all!" and BAM! She just eased her guilt. Another sign is when she see's you, she can't even look you in the eye and turns her back to you. Why? GUILT!!! Dude, you got to start looking at this with your eyes and not your heart.
Jatli Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 My ex left me and started a relationship with another woman right away (yes I believe he was cheating but he won't admit it). I too thought they were going to last and started to give up ever getting back together as the months went by. After about 16 months he started showing up where I was and then texting me and calling me asking me out for coffee , over for drinks , over for dinner. We started hanging out every once in a while (like every other week) at first. Then more often he would call. And we started seeing each other more and more. We have now been back together 6 months and it's good. We are taking it slow and didn't rush back into it. We are still taking baby steps but it's good. If the love was true and real they will realize it eventually. It's up to you if you want to wait.
stillafool Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Thanks for your replies. I jut find it weird that she reached out, offered friendship but now if I see her at the store where she works, she wont make any eye contact with me at all or turns her back to the direction which im looking. She seems conflicted by something No she doesn't want to look you in the face because of guilt. She isn't conflicted about anything.
Simon Phoenix Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 Thanks for your replies. I jut find it weird that she reached out, offered friendship but now if I see her at the store where she works, she wont make any eye contact with me at all or turns her back to the direction which im looking. She seems conflicted by something Why are you going to her place of work? Does she work at a grocery store or something?
Author RobTaylor10 Posted February 26, 2016 Author Posted February 26, 2016 Simon Phoenix, Yes she works at a grocery store and its the only one around campus. Chi townD, youre right. I'm pretty sure she cheated on me. I just keep wanting to tell myself she didn't. She always said she was so against cheating and had no respect for anyone who did but I guess she was just a hypocrite Jatli, thanks for your reply. Im happy you are getting another chance
Simon Phoenix Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 Simon Phoenix, Yes she works at a grocery store and its the only one around campus. Chi townD, youre right. I'm pretty sure she cheated on me. I just keep wanting to tell myself she didn't. She always said she was so against cheating and had no respect for anyone who did but I guess she was just a hypocrite Jatli, thanks for your reply. Im happy you are getting another chance I'm sure she doesn't work there 24 hours a day. Can't you shop when she's not there? You "running into her" there isn't the least bit productive.
Author RobTaylor10 Posted February 26, 2016 Author Posted February 26, 2016 Yeah I know what you mean. 75% I go and she's not there which is good, but I don't know her schedule so 25% of the time I do see her 1
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