mortensorchid Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 I had arranged to meet a guy tonight through a dating website. We were to meet in about an hour from the time of this posting (which is 6 pm EST) and after not hearing anything from him all day, he sends a text saying he has to cancel. Sorry, he was invited to a basketball game and he said yes, sorry for the late notice. I texted back "Ok, rain check for another day and have fun at the game". I understand that things like this happen when people have to cancel on someone, but this is a bit on the annoying side to me. Quite honestly if I was going to go out on an internet date with someone and I got an offer to do something else, I would have said sorry I have plans. Just out of a courtesy to the person I had arranged to meet. It doesn't matter who the person is, and true I don't know this person I was to meet, and he could've been a huge jerk as well, but I would have kept my promise. Unfortunately this leaves a bad taste in my mouth about this person and I am not holding my breath that he'll contact me again.
bromantic Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 That is his passive aggressive way of informing you he is not interested in meeting you.
carhill Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 Well, on a positive note, at least there is basketball being played right now Gotcha, OP, that stuff sucks, the last minute cancels. I got to the point where I always had a plan B so I wouldn't piss away a couple hours and a 30 mile drive, which was normal for me when dating. I'd either set up an alternative activity or have something going on with friends I could join in if stood up or cancelled on. So glad I'm out of that. Sheesh.
joseb Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 Unless this is a huge game and he is a huge fan (in which case he would need to say that in the text) then this really is not acceptable. Don't bother contacting him again, and assume he's gone, if he comes back up to you if you want to give him another chance. 1
Erik30 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I would forget about this guy. He ditched you for a game last minute... Also you were the one who brought up the rain check. If he was really interested he would be the one suggesting another day and try to make it up to you. 1
lilmissjava Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Inconsiderate. I would have acknowledged the cancellation and Next! To me, you get one chance, one chance to show how serious you are about meeting someone if you are active on a dating site. If you can't keep a first meet in favor of a basketball game, it not only wasted your time but you may have cleared a schedule or post-poned other plans in order to meet up with this guy. It's kinda rude and yep, downright annoying.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Lame-o! That is so rude. OLD is full of flaky people. Delete, move on. 1
angel.eyes Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I would have just responded, "Thanks for the update." Then deleted his contact info and moved on to the next. 1
brokengirl85 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I'm really sorry this happened to you. Ugh. It's not about the game or whatever he had to do. The main reason is he was not interested enough OR he had a better option for the night. It sucks, I know. For this reason (because it's not uncommon for one of the parts to flake) you should have had your expectations low, and to have a plan B. Canceling one hour before the date is not really courteous. You should just forget about this one. I'd would NOT give him a rain check (What for? for him to cancel on me again? :/)
Zippy2000 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 WHAT? He cancelled your date for a basketball game! Almost half an hour before and imagine you got there early? I guess he has his priorities straight.
scorpiogirl Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Even if he does contact you again, you're not available. Just say no
SSJROMANCE Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 And this is a guy you want to try again with? Are you crazy? LOL. You are right - what a loser douche bag he is. If I had a date that I was serious about and someone asked me to go to a basketball game I would say thanks but no thanks I already have plans. Seeing that he said "sorry made other plans and bye" says you are low on his list of priorities. You would be a fool to try again with him as it will also make you look desperate. Have some dignity and respect and dump this loser.
PegNosePete Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I understand that things like this happen when people have to cancel on someone No, they don't just happen. He didn't have to cancel on you. He chose to. His buddy asked if he wanted to play a game of basketball and his response was "yeah sure I'll just blow off my other plans" rather than "no sorry mate, I have a date with a hot chick". What a jerk. If he does contact you again, don't respond. Delete. Next. 1
Larryville Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 That is his passive aggressive way of informing you he is not interested in meeting you. To me, you get one chance, one chance to show how serious you are about meeting someone if you are active on a dating site. If you can't keep a first meet in favor of a basketball game, it not only wasted your time but you may have cleared a schedule or post-poned other plans in order to meet up with this guy. Lame-o! That is so rude. OLD is full of flaky people. No, they don't just happen. He didn't have to cancel on you. He chose to. There is this thread somewhere on Flakes, and I some time ago just came to the conclusion to assume everyone is a flake until proven otherwise. There are just subtle and simple signs to let you know immediately whether someone is really interested in you and you should always heed those signs no matter what. Now I had a few circumstances where someone I was still in the “getting to know stage” cancelled twice hours before a meet and I just went silent, no text and no calls and they initiated the follow up. If they had not contacted me I would have went permanently dark. First dates were cool and initial conversations were cool... but you just can't always tell by those. But the quote “He didn't have to cancel on you. He chose to.” Absolutely! People choose to do what they do to you… as many say “life is too damn short to waste time” nothing irritates me more than someone wasting my time.
Author mortensorchid Posted March 3, 2016 Author Posted March 3, 2016 Just for an update, I didn't hear from him after that last text. That was a week ago that he canceled on me at the last minute to go to a basketball game which I thought was rude and inconsiderate. If I had plans to meet someone for an internet date and got an offer to do something else, I would not have left the other person hanging. I agree with other posters that it was either a passive aggressive way of saying "I am not interested in you" or that he was telling me where his priorities were (more the second). He said in a follow up text that same day that he would let me know if and when he was available next. And I had not heard from him since. I just now got a text from him, a week later, saying that he wanted to meet up. I am not going to respond to it. He was inconsiderate to cancel to do something else.
ff12343 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 I had plans to meet a girl tomorrow but i'm not really feeling it so i texted her asking for a rain check. Granted I was considerate enough to do it 1 day before, it's still the same thing. He's not overly interested if at all. Also keep in mind, i said rain check incase i change my mind. It's messed up but just to show you how some people are. He is keeping you as plan B, or C. I'd ignore him. Wouldn't be surprised if this girl ignores me.
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