swank Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 So you are in a relationship. Is it normal that only man asks his girlfriend to meet eachother (go out) or what? I'm 2 months in a relationship and only I ask her to go out.. We chat every day and everything is fine but what to think about this?
GTR King Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 you should ask them out when you feel ready doesn't matter who it is
Author swank Posted February 24, 2016 Author Posted February 24, 2016 you should ask them out when you feel ready doesn't matter who it is What do you mean by "feel ready" if you are in a relationship? It is not dating. I don't have a lot of experience so I don't know what to think of it..
angel.eyes Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 We chat every day and everything is fine but what to think about this? So what's the issue?
Author swank Posted February 24, 2016 Author Posted February 24, 2016 So what's the issue? Why doesn't she ever asks me out? Isn't that more normal than that only one person invests in a relationship in that way. 1
SwordofFlame Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 Why doesn't she ever asks me out? Isn't that more normal than that only one person invests in a relationship in that way. Well does she reciprocate her interest in you in some other ways? Do you feel like the relationship is one sided with almost all of the effort coming from you? Ask yourself, what are you getting out of this relationship?
soleilesquire Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 Asking someone out is not the only way to invest in a relationship. There is no "should" here. If she's a great girl and you two are happy then keeping score of things is just unneeded drama.
Wewon Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 In the early stages a lot of women will prefer the man initiating everything. It seems a little legalistic and rigid for someone to refuse to initiate at the 2 month mark. 1
newmoon Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 (edited) i think it's weird. why wouldn't she be suggesting things for you to do together? maybe she doesn't have money and is using you for dates? why don't you not ask her out for a while and see what she does about it. if she doesn't ask you out, maybe she doesn't even care. Edited February 24, 2016 by newmoon 1
Maggie4 Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 If you're already in a relationship, it's not really asking, more like telling. Maybe she doesn't have a lot of ideas herself.
Author swank Posted February 24, 2016 Author Posted February 24, 2016 Asking someone out is not the only way to invest in a relationship. There is no "should" here. If she's a great girl and you two are happy then keeping score of things is just unneeded drama. Like I said, one of the ways- not only. By your experience isn't that strange? It is actually almost 3 months and she never asked me to go and do something... but when we meet- all is good,really
angel.eyes Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 OP--are you concerned that she's not really interested or is your concern that she's not matching you in actions? Asking someone out is not the only way to invest in a relationship. There is no "should" here. If she's a great girl and you two are happy then keeping score of things is just unneeded drama. Precisely! I wish I could like this a thousand times! OP, I'm going to guess she's doing things for you...likely things you overlook or discount. If you're keeping score and expecting or demanding tit for tat, it's not a relationship. It's a competition. In a relationship you have two people working together as a team. In a competition you have two people working against each other. That's the antithesis of any healthy, loving relationship. My boyfriend and I have very different ways of showing that we are fully invested in our relationship.
angel.eyes Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 Like I said, one of the ways- not only. By your experience isn't that strange? It is actually almost 3 months and she never asked me to go and do something... but when we meet- all is good,really I'm curious. How old are you? What's your relationship history? What's the longest you've dated someone?
smackie9 Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 Just come out and tell her you would like her to make a suggestion/initiate once in awhile.
Author swank Posted February 24, 2016 Author Posted February 24, 2016 OP--are you concerned that she's not really interested or is your concern that she's not matching you in actions? Precisely! I wish I could like this a thousand times! OP, I'm going to guess she's doing things for you...likely things you overlook or discount. If you're keeping score and expecting or demanding tit for tat, it's not a relationship. It's a competition. In a relationship you have two people working together as a team. In a competition you have two people working against each other. That's the antithesis of any healthy, loving relationship. My boyfriend and I have very different ways of showing that we are fully invested in our relationship. Doesn't that prove my point? I know she is interested I see it in her text,that doesn't bother me- but I feel like I invest more because of that what I have mentioned.
katiegrl Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 (edited) OP--are you concerned that she's not really interested or is your concern that she's not matching you in actions? Precisely! I wish I could like this a thousand times! OP, I'm going to guess she's doing things for you...likely things you overlook or discount. If you're keeping score and expecting or demanding tit for tat, it's not a relationship. It's a competition. In a relationship you have two people working together as a team. In a competition you have two people working against each other. That's the antithesis of any healthy, loving relationship. My boyfriend and I have very different ways of showing that we are fully invested in our relationship. There is nothing to keep score of! OP is doing ALL the initiating....no scorekeeping necessary. OP, IMO this is un-natural. Three months in, ideally you BOTH should be initiating. You suggest things, she suggests things. This is called a balanced and reciprocal RL... and if it's not happening then I would suggest you talk to her about it. Don't play games like stop initiating, she will think you've lost interest, games are silly anyway, and they rarely, if ever, work. Just let her know you would like her to initiate sometimes as well. She may assume YOU are perfectly happy with the way things are now (your doing all the initiating) since you continue to do so.... and have not expressed otherwise. Communicate!! Edited February 24, 2016 by katiegrl 1
Author swank Posted February 24, 2016 Author Posted February 24, 2016 There is nothing to keep score of! OP is doing ALL the initiating....no scorekeeping necessary. OP, IMO this is un-natural. Three months in, ideally you BOTH should be initiating. You suggest things, she suggests things. This is called a balanced and reciprocal RL... and if it's not happening then I would suggest you talk to her about it. Don't play games like stop initiating, she will think you've lost interest, games are silly anyway, and they rarely, if ever, work. Just let her know you would like her to initiate sometimes as well. She may assume YOU are perfectly happy with the way things are now (your doing all the initiating) since you continue to do so.... and have not expressed otherwise. Communicate!! Great advice!
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