mariababy Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 My 25y/o ex dumped me out of the blue recently over the phone and ignored me since. Finally after 10 days, he texted with the infamous 'it's me not you' and that he has been too scared to see me because he felt guilty breaking up with me. He said for him, it's over. For me that was my closure, I don't expect anything more from him because I know eventually nothing he says would help. It is me to keep moving on. A year before he met me, he had his first relationship which lasted less than a month. He said it absolutely tore him. It ended because she had to move cities. When he reached out to her a month later because he missed her and wanted to move cities to be close to her, she said "he dumped her so she doesn't want anything to do with him anymore" He said he was angry because he never dumped her and they broke up mutually because she had to leave so he got angry, deleted and blocked her on social media. Just before he met me, he had another relationship with a girl which according to him was a "fling" and said his relationship with her from his perspective was purely sexual because she was in a LDR and just wanted to "have fun". But from her, she claimed that she thought she had a future from him based on what he did and said and even broke up with her long-term bf but he made use of her and left her. Their affair lasted for a month. Then I came into the picture. He said I was his "first real girlfriend" as I was his longest and proper relationship. Even the last time I saw him before he dumped me, he claimed how much he loved me and what he would do without me etc etc. Our relationship lasted for 7 months. Deep down I dont think he will ever realise how much he made use of me for his needs. I did things and compromised my beliefs, values and even family because I honestly believed in him. He was really intimate and he opened up to me and told me a lots of really personal issues/matters even if it painted him in the bad light so I thought I was really special to him. Initally after the breakup, I wanted him back but now, I realised how I actually dodged a bullet, so I don't want anything to do with him anymore. But at the same time, I cannot comprehend that someone I believed, trusted and loved would do something like this to me. I believe he never felt the same way from seeing how easy it was for him to detach and dump me when he found something else to preoccupy himself with. Is it his inexperience? Immaturity? Or is he unstable? Commitment-phobic? Indecisiveness? Idealistic? 1
BeFierce Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 But at the same time, I cannot comprehend that someone I believed, trusted and loved would do something like this to me. I believe he never felt the same way from seeing how easy it was for him to detach and dump me when he found something else to preoccupy himself with. Is it his inexperience? Immaturity? Or is he unstable? Commitment-phobic? Indecisiveness? Idealistic? Look up the stories online about a woman giving a kidney to her husband only for him to cheat on her. loll Stop thinking about it. Some ppl are just jerkzzzzzz
kztar Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 [quote name= Is it his inexperience? Immaturity? Or is he unstable? Commitment-phobic? Indecisiveness? Idealistic?[/quote] This is ALL of the above. Try dating older dudes. The same thing happened to me. Only thing is I was my Ex's first serious relationship. We were together for 1.5 years but he basically checked out of the relationship within the 8th month mark. Thats when things started changing and I ignored the red flags but I only fooled myself because by this time I should have DUMPED him but eventually he ended up dumping me. M Most of these guys don't know the real definition on a mature relationship and they think that everything is always going to be perfect and in reality ITS NOT. If you find someone who you truly connect with and that person has alot of great qualities work together to make things better and grow. Instead they don't communicate, then things get bad and worse and they make no effort to make improvements. They are having the Grass is greener syndrome because they expect to find someone who is absolutely perfect with no flaws. Move on and forget that dude. Thats what Im doing. I have no time to be wasting with these immature dudes who don't know how to sustain a real relationship. I am over it. 1
Author mariababy Posted February 24, 2016 Author Posted February 24, 2016 If you find someone who you truly connect with and that person has alot of great qualities work together to make things better and grow. Instead they don't communicate, then things get bad and worse and they make no effort to make improvements.That's so true especially in this relationship. I did all the "work". The important lesson I have learnt is that, no matter how much I try to pull the other person's weight, if they are not doing anything about it, it is pretty much pointless. 2
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