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Death of a friend.. but being used?


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Posted

I recently started dating this guy and everything was going great. We went on a few dates then hooked up a few times and then I went travelling for a little over a month. Despite going traveling, he continued to message me frequently, however I noticed over the course of my trip he usually had a reason to message me, like he was sick or needed advice or was feeling horny. I felt as though when I was ill or homesick he would talk to me but didn't seem all too interested in what was going on while I traveled. Recently a really good friend of his died, and of course this is a devestating experience but now it's ALL about supporting and helping him grieve. I reckon he will except sex when I return from my trip, but I feel sort of un comfortable with this. I also don't want to feel like I owe him sex because he experienced a death. I feel bad it's a ****ty thing that happened to him but I really feel like I'm being used? Even before his friend died but now even worse. It's like nothing I feel matters. He also always left after hooking up so that made me feel like he just wanted sex. Although he will occasionally say things like I miss you and thinking about you but not sure

Posted

People are self centered. In reaching out to you & trying to stay connected, he's telling you about what's going on with him. You see it as him using you.

 

He may view it as an attempt to bond through communications.

 

While I wouldn't jump into bed with him but see if communication feels less like an imposition when you return.

Posted

What makes you "assume" that he is "expecting" you to put out? Did he outright say this? Or are you assuming that that is how men behave when losing a friend? Please tell me you are jesting? I have far more faith that men are more real then you make yours out to be.

 

Stay away from him and real ppl. They have hearts in times like these....

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Posted
What makes you "assume" that he is "expecting" you to put out? Did he outright say this? Or are you assuming that that is how men behave when losing a friend? Please tell me you are jesting? I have far more faith that men are more real then you make yours out to be.

 

Stay away from him and real ppl. They have hearts in times like these....

 

I assumed. Yes I know my post comes off as bad but I don't mean it too. I just am not sure how to handle this situation

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