Author Protec Posted February 24, 2016 Author Posted February 24, 2016 I took her back because I liked her... I know how it feels to have something unfinished. Still i think you're right. She seems to ask too much too early. And I am afraid that she is going to party on Friday with her friend. She did not even ask if i want to come along. "but you don't want to dance any way". No i don't dance. Bit that doesn't mean i don't want tonst back and relax somewhere after a week in work. I'm confused.
Gaeta Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 I feel bad not having her a present but I will get her one once I figure it out what to give. After the new information you've just given us, don't. I am a person who does not need items to be happy. but her birthday is not about you, her birthday is about her, and she likes to get birthday presents. I have known her for about 2 months now and she even dumped me once at New years eve because she took her ex back for a day and then dumped him and wanted to be with me again. You've only known her for 2 months, and you went on a trip together after she dumped you? why? Why were you willing to spend that much money on a trip with her but nothing on a birthday present?
candie13 Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 She is upset with you. I am sorry, in my humble opinion, you should get her a thoughtful gift and spend time with her, acknowledging her pain & disappointment. You ****ed up. Big. Birthdays are important. You need to think and buy in advance, because it's just one day per year. Not the very day because you won't know what to buy & Will be lacking time & Will be stressed. You can talk to her gfs or a reasonsable female friend or relative from your side. Personally, a delicate silver bracelet is always a good idea. Or a beautiful simple silver necklace. You can choose the pendant together, if it stresses you out (i mean offer the necklace with the pendant and let her know she can choose a different one). Buying clothes for someone is tacky. It's really not about the gift, it is about her feeling you exposed yourself, invested thought & time in choosing something for her. Exactly what You did not do. Sorry mate... My 2 cents, anyway
joseb Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 (edited) I really am surprised at all the flak the op is getting for "not getting her a present" which isn't even true They are together a few weeks She has already dumped him once and took him back when she felt like it OP had very limited money and the whole guilt trip his entitled girlfriend is putting on him is stopping him sleeping Oh lord I remember the stress of trying to come up with good presents for my ex. One more reason to smile and stay single! OP. I would expect you to be more concerned by her dumping you for an ex than the fact you didn't put enough thought into getting her a birthday present. You need to find yourself a better partner. Edited February 24, 2016 by joseb 2
Leigh 87 Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 If you're on a good income then dude, you're a total tight @** There's no excuse for non generous people. If you're not earning decent money then you have an excuse. My bf was broke on my bday. He spent his last 30 bucks on cheap champagne flowers and chocolates. That's all he could afford. And he spoilt me in the bedroom. But when he has money he does nice things ( got me 500 worth of jewellery for Christmas randomly buys gifts) It's up to your gf. I personally need a general guy wuth hus wallet and his heart. I am equally generous though. ..... Some chicks don't need gifts. Others do. There's no right or wrong way to be.
somecamel Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 I want to get her something special...something that means something. Not a movie, not a book, not kitchen appliances. I am financially in a bad situation right now so i cannot get her any expensive jewellery. I would love to get her a necklace or earrings. I love her and now i feel bad for all this... I could make her a song...i make music. But maybe that is not something she would appreciate. Make the song!! That would be awesome!!
Leigh 87 Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 I really am surprised at all the flak the op is getting for "not getting her a present" which isn't even true They are together a few weeks She has already dumped him once and took him back when she felt like it OP had very limited money and the whole guilt trip his entitled girlfriend is putting on him is stopping him sleeping Oh lord I remember the stress of trying to come up with good presents for my ex. One more reason to smile and stay single! OP. I would expect you to be more concerned by her dumping you for an ex than the fact you didn't put enough thought into getting her a birthday present. You need to find yourself a better partner. I didn't mind that my bf was broke for my bday. But I am into generous men. So if a guy earns enough to spoil me yet doesn't, that's not the guy for me. If a guy isn't able to always afford to take me out yet does whenever he can....that's more than enough!
clia Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 I won't say i have been busy. But i just don't want to get some crappy stuff for her that i know she won't need. I don't want to buy her a movie (bluray / dvd). I have no idea about her size so clothes are out and i will not get a gift card. It sounds like you consciously made a choice not to buy her a gift because you didn't know what to get her. I wanted to take her out for a nice restaurant on her birthday, but i was late at work and after that i had to drive my father home so i had no time to go home and even go to shower or change clothes when i went to her place. So i just got her some good redwine and bunch of roses. So you had no reservation, no plan for her birthday. You were just going to wing it. And other things took priority. (This is the kind of thing women take notice of in the early days of a relationship.) Did you buy the wine and flowers on the way to her house? Did you help her drink the wine? What did you two end up doing that evening? Did you at least make her dinner? Apparently she wanted more. She likely wanted something that indicated you put some thought into her birthday. If you'd, for example, had the flowers delivered to her, it might've made a difference. The wine is great and all (I love wine!), but that's the easy, fallback gift you get for an acquaintance on the way to their house. Unless it's some rare wine that you had to special order, it seems like a cop out to get it for your new girlfriend. Anyway, I think the issue is not so much the lack of gift as it is your lack of effort and thought. There are lots of options for a cheaper gift, which would've been totally appropriate at this stage of your relationships. Pretty bracelets for $20-30, a scarf, cool wineglasses, cool gadgets, etc. It just seems you made no effort. 1
Maggie4 Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 This woman is not a materialistic gold digger, cos she's dating a guy who doesn't have money. And her reaction is the reaction of someone emotionally invested. She is hurt and she gives him grief when he doesn't have time for her. When a woman doesn't care, she is not hurt when he neglects her. The OP does care, I think. But he is defensive and stressed, maybe even a bit resentful of her reaction now, perhaps memories from a previous bad relationship coming back. OP I think you should consider, do you and your gf have more in common than you have differences? Is she a bit unusual? Are you stubborn? If you are both people who march to the beat of your own drum, yet you understand each other, you have something good there. 1
Wewon Posted February 24, 2016 Posted February 24, 2016 Just from reading the OP you sound like you tend to be a perfectionist. It sounds like you won't do something unless you know its going to hit a bullseye. To be honest, I suspect that part of her irritation is with your reasoning, not simply the gift. if that is indeed true (I'm going on limited information about you) then you should give yourself more time so that you can plan and map out the gift and work out all of the details. People that need things to be perfect don't get the luxury of doing things at the last minute. 1
BarryJohnny Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 Maybe you could get her a cheap, but still optical adorable present (like the necklaces you see on http://www.cadenzza.co.uk/long-pearl-necklace)? They go from 30 bucks to 130 bucks, i am sure there will be something that youre able to purchase and is fitting to your GF. But its just for Example, so you can choose every shop you want to, but i just wanted to show you that there would be some nice presents which arent expensive. That Dragonfly Light Necklace for example is cheap and my girlfriend would like it really, because i know her. She loves Dragonflys/Lizards and so on. Maybe yours too? And as an excuse why it comes so late, just say the Shop had Problems with sending packages oder somethin similar. Its not a real lie. Its for a good thing Greetz.
kendahke Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 I did not get bd card from her. Anyway i don't want to buy clothes because she has quite expensive taste. Dolce gabbana, Tommy Hilfiger..guess, you name it. I just don't have that kind of money to buy her over 100 euro shirt. She does not even respond to my messages anymore. I sent her good morning. So this I it? I don't want love to be something I need to buy from other person. I feel now I have to spend lots of money or else she does not like me. I feel bad not having her a present but I will get her one once I figure it out what to give. Also she does not read books. Maybe I jut get her one of those designer glass items. She likes them. I am so stressed out I could not even sleep. I feel horrible. I am a person who does not need items to be happy. I have known her for about 2 months now and she even dumped me once at New years eve because she took her ex back for a day and then dumped him and wanted to be with me again. You might want to start with a heartfelt apology for mucking this up and compounding it with excuses as to why it's so out of your reach to have come up with something that more than likely she's told you, but you chose not to pay attention. Who you are and what you need applies only to you--not her. You are the one who took her back, which means that whatever went on before you two reanimated your involvement after NYE is non sequitur--because there you are. If you want to be with a woman who has expensive tastes, etc., then you're going to have to step it up--or quit and find a woman more your speed.
elaine567 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 Some women would have loved it. She may have thought that it didn't take much thought because maybe SHE doesn't really like red roses. That is what makes dating so hard. Some women associate flowers with bad events too like funerals or abuse. I know someone who hates getting flowers as that is what her abusive husband always bought as recompense every time he hit her. But that is an extreme case. Wine and red roses are pretty unimaginative, you could buy that for any woman on the planet, she wanted some indication that she was special to you. The best Xmas gifts I ever got, was from a bf who noted down all the stuff I commented on, liked, tried on when we used to go window shopping together sometimes. He then went and bought the stuff for Xmas, little things, bigger things but every gift was something I had said I liked. It was not about the money he spent, probably not any more than average but because those things were individually chosen FOR me. The worst gift I ever got was a beautiful 18ct gold bracelet, worth a lot, but I found out my bf (not the same one) actually bought it for his ex and never gave it to her as they split up, so he gave it to me. NOT a happy bunny that year. 1
Author Protec Posted March 4, 2016 Author Posted March 4, 2016 Well... finally i got her a T-shirt. It was SuperDry brand, it was her color and the print had roses in them (she loves roses). I guess she liked it... And then afterwards she went and bought me a bracelet....
fitnessfan365 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Unfortunately i cannot bake a cake and NO i will not try. There these things called bakeries... Since your GF gave you a themed cake, I am guessing that's what she did.
Author Protec Posted March 7, 2016 Author Posted March 7, 2016 There these things called bakeries... Since your GF gave you a themed cake, I am guessing that's what she did. No actually she made it by herself. That's why it was so awesome
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