Best breakup you ever received?

[daisyandroses]

Kinda in the dumps, would love to hear!

[Brady375]

Hard to say a breakup is the "best" lol. BUT.....

I dated a girl for 5yrs from 18-24. I was very close to her family and when she left me I lost a lot. I was devestated. Crushed and she was the first thing I thought about in the morning and last thing I thought about before I went to sleep. It was the kinds of bad breakup that alls I wanted to do was Sleep because it was the only time I could find peace.

 

Time passed and after several months I started feeling better....couple years later I could Be Honest w myself and say I was completely over her. How was this the best breakup I ever had??

 

Well she was the first girl I was ever w and dated and after coming through that breakup and experience I realized something Truely important very Early in my life. I thought I'd never get over her or feel better. EVER; that was a fact in my brain. What I found out was I DID get through it. I DID feel better, and as time passed the fact that she married someone and had a couple kids NEVER once bothered me. I was happy for her. I learned that being as Devestated as I was over her was Completely irrational. I have piece of mind now and Complete Confidence after going through this. I know that I will never again get devastated over a relationship ending, because what's the point? In time I Know for a Fact I'll get over her After grieving some BUT I Will be fine and I will still have Great Happy Experiences Ahead of me.

 

I wouldn't trade this break up for anything in the world. My ex was smart and knew what I didn't. In retrospect I know now we weren't best for eachother. We were on different pages and the Timing more than anything was off. We loved eachother but wanted different things at that point in our lives. I learned sometimes love isn't enough.

 

Now a decade later I'm in a tough spot w my wife. This time I am in the position of the dumper. It's hard. Now the mrs is Telling me All of the same stuff and promises I told my ex and I find myself telling her all of the same things my ex said to me. We have no kids luckily and I'm hoping things can work out BUT the Insight that first relationship gave me has given me Clairty in cutting through a lot of the nonsense in my current relationship. I experienced all of this before and all of the things I told my ex years ago to get her back were nonsense. I was saying what I thought I should to patch things up though I hadn't Reslly changed. That takes time and hard work. Now the mrs is using the same lines on me and I'm smart enough not to rush back into things. I'm much more open to seeing Actions and real change then words.

 

All of this knowledge I recieved from the breakup has prepared me to deal w a much more important decision later in life. God forbid I didn't have his wisdom maybe I would have pushed through had a coulple Kids and then be In this situation. That would be extremely difficult for me.

 

Point being everything Does happen for a Reason. The universe will give you exactly what you need to grow at whatever stage you are at in your life for whatever situation. You just have to be smart enough to listen to it. And when your unsure of what your hearing from it, don't make rash decisions. Things will naturally play out as they should. Positive and negative Incriminate littler details shape each day and each relationship. Things happen as they should.

[Toodaloo]

It has to be my last.

 

I was so tired. Got left at the bloody airport so had to phone my Mother to come and get me, got back late so went straight to see my Grandmother got home and found a note on the cooker...

 

Drove down to where I knew he would be asked him what he was doing. He said he couldn't do it anymore and was cowering as though I was going to hit him... Lord knows after the crap he dealt out over the years I should have. But instead I gave him the sweets he wanted and the clothes I got for him. Drove home.

 

I shrugged got in my car went home and got some sleep. Woke up the next morning and did a little dance... I gutted the house and cleaned up and it was wonderful! I could live and be free from all that constant mess and the constant stress and worry.

 

Bliss.

 

So glad he did it. If he hadn't I would have done.

[Audacious]

Well , for lack of a better expression , my last breakup was amicable enough since we were separated mainly by things beyond our control and not because of ourselves , but it hurts , it hurts deeply .

 

but I did not and will name blame her and I am certain that she feels the same way towards me , I think you can call it a clean breakup since there were no actual residual bitter feelings of blame .

[mightycpa]

I'd known her for about a year...we worked together, and we would flirt all the time. One morning we were talking, and she was eating a custard filled donut. She licked the inside of that donut, made a big show of having custard in her mouth and said "what does this remind you of?" OMG. I almost took her down to the parking garage that very minute.

 

Our first date was that night, for drinks then dinner, right after work. It was fast, we were totally into each other, totally nuts about each other. :love: I didn't know it at the time, but it was one of those love affairs that's like a bottle rocket, hot and fast, and it's just a matter of time before it blows up. We were together all the time, inseparable. She'd stay at my place, or I'd stay at hers, and everything was great. Our song was "Can't Fight This Feeling" by REO Speedwagon. :love:

 

About six months later, we went out to a party one night, ended up back at her place, banged each other silly and went to sleep. Nothing unusual, nothing different. Just sweet bliss on a Saturday night. :love::love:

 

When I woke up the next morning, it was like a bubble had popped. I was so over her. It wasn't like I hated her or anything, it's just that the infatuation had died in my sleep. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and came back to bed. But she was already dressed, which was a little unusual. Usually, we'd be ready for round two right about now. Not this morning though. Instead, she was looking at me a little funny, sort of avoiding looking directly at me. Glancing, I guess, as if she was checking me for something.

 

The following breakup is not word for word, but it's close:

 

Me: Can I ask you something? Do you feel anything different this morning?

Her: Yeah, I feel a little funny, I don't know.

Me: Me too. I don't know why, but it's like, I'm not really feeling it any more all of a sudden.

Her:OMG! Me too! I didn't know how to start that conversation!

Me: What, you don't like me anymore?

Her: I like you fine. I just don't like you in that way anymore. Is that what you mean?

Me: Yeah. Isn't this weird?

Her: Totally.

Me: Are we ok? Are we still friends?

Her: I think so. I'm ok if you're ok. Are you ok?

Me: Yeah, I'm ok. You wanna go get some breakfast?

Her: Ok.

 

And so we did. We talked about the past six months, how intense it was, and the night before and how strange it was that we both lost our feelings at the exact same time. It's like we both reached romantic indifference at the same time. We were totally fine with each other after that. About a month later, she introduced me to the girl who would become my best girlfriend ever.

 

Ah, one of the nicest little relationships I ever had, so much emotion, so little substance, followed up by the best breakup of all time.

 

Now that I think about it, I was probably owed that one for my first dumping ever. That was the worst. This one evened things out a little bit.

Edited February 24, 2016 by mightycpa

[Zapbasket]

Originally Posted by my best breakup

Me: Can I ask you something? Do you feel anything different this morning?

Her: Yeah, I feel a little funny, I don't know.

Me: Me too. I don't know why, but it's like, I'm not really feeling it any more all of a sudden.

Her:OMG! Me too! I didn't know how to start that conversation!

Me: What, you don't like me anymore?

Her: I like you fine. I just don't like you in that way anymore. Is that what you mean?

Me: Yeah. Isn't this weird?

Her: Totally.

Me: Are we ok? Are we still friends?

Her: I think so. I'm ok if you're ok. Are you ok?

Me: Yeah, I'm ok. You wanna go get some breakfast?

Her: Ok.

 

Wow, really??? That sounds...impossible! Looking back, what do you think caused the sudden, and mutual, loss of romantic feeling? Was it the intensity and hot-and-heaviness of the short-lived relationship and it just wore the two of you out like a candle consuming itself at both ends? And how on earth did you manage to just, boom! have a complete loss of romantic feeling or each other while still managing not to be disgusted by each other as a whole?

[mightycpa]

Hi GC - I don't know. It does sound impossible, doesn't it? I think of it as the perfect breakup. The timing was just dumb luck, and of course, like all romantic interests, neither of us were in control of our feelings. We were reacting to what we felt. Even a couple of days difference, and things might have gone a lot differently. It's hard to say. Sometimes you have to ask yourself if you're responding so badly because you lost someone you love, or because you've lost someone unexpectedly. Sometimes I wonder.

 

Anyway, all my other ones were unpleasant at best, usually worse; i.e., normal. We genuinely liked each other, so maybe that helped, and neither of us did the other wrong. That always helps too. Even after it was over, we continued to work together, and socialize, not together, but in the same circles of friends. Things were playful, but strictly platonic. Eventually, she moved and we lost touch.

 

If I could bottle what led to that experience and sell it, I would. I'm sure I could put you down for a case, right?

[Calmandfocused]

One guy I dated casually years ago told me he "wasn't in the right place".

 

I offered to buy him an a-z (map of local area)

 

To be fair he burst out laughing and we ended on good terms .

[candie13]

Last dude I dated - back in October. He was suffering from performance anxiety so when sex wasn't bad, it was fast . I liked hanging out with him because he was always doing fun things, taking me to concerts, movies, spas, family gatherings... I think I liked the idea of being with someone more than actually being with him, given that sex was far from mindblowing and the conversations even less. It was for the first time sex wasn't a big hit when I was seeing someone, so I may have wanted to stick around long enough to see it working. It never did, speak about ego, haha.

 

We went to the mountains for a nice get-a-way weekend and ... you know what's "better" than poor sex? No sex at all . So the following day after we returned, I wanted to have the talk. He told me he was put off by realizing that I wanted children - since he realized he didn't want any of his own (his ex tried to get pregnant by him behind his back, suuurpriiise).

 

Of course, I would have preferred to hear this before sex and before staying with the dude for one month.Probably what made me stay this long was my feeling of guilt for his performance issues. It was the first time I had to deal with this... and leaving a guy who's 34 because sex is poor seemed shallow, at the time.

 

Anyway, we've had the talk, he told me he didn't want kids, I gave him the stuff he had at my place and I told him I'm not interested in seeing him anymore. After a week or so, I got mad and wrote an email telling him exactly what I thought about him and about the situation - bringing the big elephant in the room - sex & the trama of his ex - in it. I think... by that time, I had poured all my resentment in the email and I didn't need anymore closure. I was well.

 

Well, the part of the world where I'm living is very polite and he called back, a few days after receiving my email. We set up a time and actually discussed all the points in my email. It really wasn't necessary, because I know I was right, but it was nice to talk to him and hear his side of the story and his mindset.

 

Very insightful (realized I didn't know him and also realized he's quite shortsighted), so it was just... nice. Even before his call, I had understood. So yeah, the fact that he wanted to call and took the time to call - even though his efforts to make me feel better and in peace were linked to him not wanting me to keep a grudge or keep a poor opinion of him - makes it the best break up I've ever had. Not quite as nice as having a guy call you because he didn't want you to be hurt, I'd say second best.

 

I admit that the fact that I had gotten all of my points correctly in my email and that I've felt that during that conversation, helped me get a little ego boost. In the end, all's well that ends well .

Edited February 24, 2016 by candie13

[OXS550]

My current one with Fiance (3.5 years). Everything she owns is here, so is her sons. She calls on the way to work on a Monday (two weeks ago), says I love you ill see you later. A Day later no word. I blow my top, send some hate messages, apologize later (obviously shes pissed).

 

Finally get a hold of her too weeks later and ask her wtf. She says she can't talk shes at work. So I tell her twice to come get her crap she just says ok, but obviously won't. I Explain i'm not kidding then smart off to her, she hangs up lol. That was tuesday. But this past summer she wouldn't get her things. I had to drive them 52 miles to her. I wont do that this time. Ill just put them in her parking spot in the garage.

 

No longer a doormat !