bu2002 Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 I'm on E-Harmony and when you get matched with someone you have no idea if they're really even active on the site. Most sites tell you when a person was last active on the site, so you know if it's even worth your time. E-Harmony does not do this. I found this woman who really really intrigues me but have no idea if she's really using the site anymore. I haven't gotten to the point of googling her yet, but I'm tempted. Very tempted. Is it crossing the line to see if she's active on social media and attempting to contact her through those means? Does that take creepiness to a whole new level?
Popsicle Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 They only think you're a creep if they are not attracted to you. Always remember that. That said, I must ask, because you didn't explicitly say, did you try to contact her on the dating site?
NoDayButToday Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 I'm on E-Harmony and when you get matched with someone you have no idea if they're really even active on the site. Most sites tell you when a person was last active on the site, so you know if it's even worth your time. E-Harmony does not do this. I found this woman who really really intrigues me but have no idea if she's really using the site anymore. I haven't gotten to the point of googling her yet, but I'm tempted. Very tempted. Is it crossing the line to see if she's active on social media and attempting to contact her through those means? Does that take creepiness to a whole new level? I am not the most comfortable with online dating, so I have googled people/looked them up on social media to make sure they are who they say they are. But, I wouldn't contact them on their social media. I would think that could really freak her out! I have never used E-Harmony, but I am assuming you can message someone you are matched with. If so, have you messaged her? It wouldn't hurt to at least try. And maybe you can look her up on other social media to see if she's met someone already...but I wouldn't take it any farther than that.
Raena Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 Do they use real names on eharmony? You need that to google someone don't you?
hippychick3 Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 I would be completely creeped out if someone from eHarmony (which I did back when I was dating) contacted me on Facebook. It wouldn't matter how attractive he looked. It's invasive. EH does not give out last names and before I meet you (and sometimes even after I do), it's none of your business what my last name is or any other personal info that may show up through a Google search. If you do decide to search for her, don't tell her and certainly don't contact her through FB! All you have to do is send something through EH and see if she responds. If she is truly off of EH, she may have already found someone else. And, if she is off EH and hasn't found anyone else and you message her through FB...stalkerish and creepy.
hippychick3 Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 Do they use real names on eharmony? You need that to google someone don't you? No, but they list where you live and with a unique spelling of your first name and the city, you can be found with persistence.
Author bu2002 Posted February 23, 2016 Author Posted February 23, 2016 They only think you're a creep if they are not attracted to you. Always remember that. That said, I must ask, because you didn't explicitly say, did you try to contact her on the dating site? Yes I did send her a message. The site used to have the feature telling you when someone was last online. Other sites like Match and Ok Cupid have this, making it real easy to identify whom you should contact. I usually won't contact someone who hasn't been active on a site within a week.
LookAtThisPOst Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 I would be completely creeped out if someone from eHarmony (which I did back when I was dating) contacted me on Facebook. It wouldn't matter how attractive he looked. It's invasive. EH does not give out last names and before I meet you (and sometimes even after I do), it's none of your business what my last name is or any other personal info that may show up through a Google search. If you do decide to search for her, don't tell her and certainly don't contact her through FB! All you have to do is send something through EH and see if she responds. If she is truly off of EH, she may have already found someone else. And, if she is off EH and hasn't found anyone else and you message her through FB...stalkerish and creepy. Funny, there's this one woman on POF that actually put her REAL name as your screen name, then said, "Here's my Instagram handle...which was "firstnamelastname80"" The numbers likely meaning her date of birth. I was able to find her on Facebook...duh. Apparently, she's about walking distance from where I live. lol She's pretty much asking to be contacted via her social media pretty much by putting the screen name to it on a dating site. So in this case the creep factor is trumped because she's allowing people to contact her outside the dating site by providing the information publicly.
Popsicle Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 Yes I did send her a message. The site used to have the feature telling you when someone was last online. Other sites like Match and Ok Cupid have this, making it real easy to identify whom you should contact. I usually won't contact someone who hasn't been active on a site within a week. Okay, then I would let it go and not contact her outside of the dating site. She may have a BF now.
Recommended Posts