serendipity90 Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 (edited) I met with a guy at the weekend who looked different from his pictures which must have been a few years old at least. He had a receding hairline and didn't have much hair compared to his other photos which is a shame because I actually turned out to like the guy and would definitely see him again if he had more hair. If I was in my 40s I doubt it would bother me so much but it does when I'm 25 and the guy is 27, and [bald men] do nothing for me what so ever. Edited February 22, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language ~6 1
smackie9 Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 This is why it's so important to skype before meeting someone. You said he was 27....it's possible he is lying about that too. 2
Popsicle Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 I know a guy who is 27 who is almost completely bald. At such a young age, I'm sure it's quite traumatizing for him. He walks around almost 24/7 with a hat on. I feel for him.
lilmissjava Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 People are still changing in appearance after the shutter clicks. I'm in my 40's and yes, it would bother me if someone misrepresented themselves the way this guy did. Why wouldn't it matter to someone in their 40's? Don't discount the gen x'ers with your way of thinking, we have lived in a world where meeting someone in real life was the norm, not the second step to dating. 2
soleilesquire Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 I think bald/shaved heads are sexy But that reallllllllly ain't the point. The point is this guy has a mirror. He knows his pictures are misleading. If this was a woman who ended up weighing 50 pounds more than her photos whale jokes would abound. Don't lie with your pictures.
SwordofFlame Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 It's happened to me before. All the more reason to make the first date or "meet" as some like to call it, a drinks or coffee date. That way you can bail sooner rather than later.
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 I think bald/shaved heads are sexy But that reallllllllly ain't the point. The point is this guy has a mirror. He knows his pictures are misleading. If this was a woman who ended up weighing 50 pounds more than her photos whale jokes would abound. Don't lie with your pictures. Having taken the time to join and set up a profile, most people would prefer to make some sort of contact with misleading photos than be totally ignored with accurate ones. 1
Miss Peach Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 I have found hardly anyone looks like their photos online. In most of the cases I think the photos aren't necessarily misleading as they are recent, etc. Just some people photograph better or worse than they look IRL. 6
joseb Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 This is why it's so important to skype before meeting someone. You said he was 27....it's possible he is lying about that too. A lot of classical male pattern baldness happens early/mid 20s. 1
joseb Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 I met with a guy at the weekend who looked different from his pictures which must have been a few years old at least. He had a receding hairline and didn't have much hair compared to his other photos which is a shame because I actually turned out to like the guy and would definitely see him again if he had more hair. If I was in my 40s I doubt it would bother me so much but it does when I'm 25 and the guy is 27, and [bald men] do nothing for me what so ever. I have a few pics that are a bit older, because they were taken in good places, etc. But I always have at least one that's up to date. Really, online dating sites should enforce this - it's not that hard to check the date electronically (unless the uploader is really technical and knows how to hack exif data)
strow Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 I actually turned out to like the guy and would definitely see him again if he had more hair. Wow and I thought some people I know in real life are shallow. Like it really matters if a person has more or less hair. I sure hope for your sake and your next boyfriends sake that he never loses any hair as he gets older! Not very likely
thecrucible Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 Like it really matters if a person has more or less hair. I sure hope for your sake and your next boyfriends sake that he never loses any hair as he gets older! Not very likely I don't necessarily think it's shallow not to like bald men. I would never point blank say I don't like bald men but I think some of them carry it off better than others. Besides it's more about how the guy deals with it - definite turn off if he goes for the comb-over. Also to echo what others have said in the thread, I think most people are going about it with honest intentions and not trying to deceive anyone with their photographs. Sometimes people look better than their photos, sometimes not as good and sometimes they look the same but they have a different energy than you imagined when chatting with them online. You can never tell until you meet them face to face. 1
Erik30 Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 He had a receding hairline and didn't have much hair compared to his other photos which is a shame because I actually turned out to like the guy and would definitely see him again if he had more hair. That's probably his reason for using older pictures. I guess he's feeling self-conscious about losing his hair, maybe even more now after that date with you, especially since that's why you don't want to see him again. He should mention it before meeting people, or at least add some more recent pictures to his profile so women know what to expect.
losangelena Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 A friend of mine just got on okc. She's already getting a number of messages, and today she showed me her profile. One of primary photos is a full-body shot, and the other is from the boobs up. Problem is, they were both taken a couple of years ago, and she's gained weight since then, especially in the neck area. I feel like I should say something, because I'm almost positive men will find it misleading, and I want her to avoid a scenario like this. OP, this is a very common scenario, unfortunately. It sucks that you like him, but if his baldness is a turn-off, then it's a turn-off.
thecrucible Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 Another thing to say OP. Although you say you aren't very attracted to bald men, you could overlook all sorts of things if you really like a guy - so maybe there were other reasons you didn't click. I have fallen for guys I would think weren't that attractive to look at in photographs and thought they were the bees knees so with the right kind of guy, looks fade into the background. It's good to be as accurate a representation of yourself as possible as well I think. If it's a really big difference between photographs, the date just gets floored as it wasn't expected and the unexpected appearance can just throw the date off - it may not even have been the biggest deal if they knew what to expect.
kendahke Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 I have never understood the mentality of posting pictures of oneself that are more than 18 months old. If you end up meeting the person you're talking to, it's going to be obvious that you posted old pictures of yourself and you knew they were old. That's being deliberately misleading, in my book. I just don't get that. Everyone is entitled to their preferences and if some person you like doesn't like your packaging, someone else will. When I do do OLD, I only post pictures taken within the last 6 months--all of my older pictures are of me with shorter hair because it was short for the past 2 years. Now it's down to my shoulder blades and my grey hairs are being great--posting those short hair pics are going to be a pretty obvious sign that my pics aren't recent, no? 2
brokengirl85 Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 When they don't look like their pictures I automatically disqualify the guy. It happen to me that I met a very succesful guy last year. His picture (only one, I should know right?) was of him with a full head of dark hair. That's what I actually liked, and the fact he had intense brown sharp eyes. Well, we met for a coffee (gladly it wasn't dinner!) and when I first saw him, I didn't recognize him. He approached to me and I had to really make an effort to hide my dissapointment. He had at least 10 pounds more. And it showed in the face: completely round to the point his eyes were just two small brown points. And his hair. Receding and absolutely white. Wtf. He tried to make a second date but I politely rejected him. 2
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 So we're supposed to put flattering photos up but not misleading? So where is the line drawn between the two? Flattering is usually largely misleading. What if, like me, you have put nothing but flattering photos up and you still get no response?
Toodaloo Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 Photos... I have met many men who do not look like their photos. Thankfully most are better looking. As for the bald thing. I actually really fancy bald men! Its just so sexy... That said I will not rule out a guy just because he happens to have hair. After all he can always shave it off and pretend to be bald... Can't wait for snog a slapper day... 4
salparadise Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 Photos... I have met many men who do not look like their photos. Thankfully most are better looking. As for the bald thing. I actually really fancy bald men! Its just so sexy... That said I will not rule out a guy just because he happens to have hair. After all he can always shave it off and pretend to be bald... Can't wait for snog a slapper day... Proof that real women actually do exist!
Cherryz Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 You dont know who you talking with. Many crazy people also online. If you smart you wouldn't just click and meet. But at least skype with the person first to see if its the person and how he/ she acts.
LookAtThisPOst Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 I made it a point never to contact women who don't smile in ALL of their photos. Esp. when there's 8 photos with deadpan or if they ARE smiling, they aren't showing their teeth. That's a good indicator of **cked up teeth. Learned my lesson, met a woman online and when she smiled, she was missing a couple front teeth. Nice body and eyes though, but upon getting to know her, she tends to hang with a rough crowd and a frequent, hole-in-the-wall bar patron. Looks like she's seen hard times basically.
SSJROMANCE Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 If he didn't write "… from 2010" or something like that then I wouldn't trust him. He has already wasted your time by deceiving you once. What else is he going to deceive you about? Run.
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 So it's a lose-lose situation. Put up flattering photos and on the off-chance that you get a date she's not going to be happy when she actually sees you. Or put up realistic photos and sit around like a lemon for months on end while no one responds to anything you send them. OLD is the crummiest most shallow environment on Earth.
Sweetgirl28 Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 I had the reversed happen to me a while ago. I had been messaging back and forth with a guy I started to consider as a friend due to his height on his profile (1 inch shorter than me) but he turned out to be A LOT better-looking in person, and he was only half an inch shorter too
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