was feeling hopeful, now feel rather disappointed

[ishouldgiveup]

I met a guy through a popular internet dating site about 10 days ago. He's 35, I'm 38. We exchanged a few brief emails but he was heading back overseas for a month shortly after we "met" (he is a manager for a large oil company, he works over there for one month then back home for one month, etc). He was very clear to say he hoped we would continue to mail each other back and forth while he was gone.

 

...so that's what we've been doing all these days. Of course there's a 7 hr time difference but we manage. It's been nice getting to know one another this way. This is apparently his first time using an internet dating site and he admits he's cautious and a little skeptical.

 

Amazingly, we have a lot in common.....from where we grew up as children, our ethnic background, how our parents raised us, etc.

 

However, I find his emails somewhat one-sided. I ask him questions about himself, his life, his interests....and his responses are very much about him, bragging about all the responsibility he has in his job, all the guys he has to train, how he's paid very very well for what he does. Now in a lot of ways, he seems down to earth so maybe he brags about himself because he's insecure and thinks it will impress me?

 

He's never asked about what I do in my job and when I told him what I did for a living, well almost any other guy I've met in the past would have not been too sure what exactly I did and would have asked. This guy hasn't. However, he has gone on to tell me his ex of 8 yrs ago, who he was once engaged to, she was in the same profession and then went on to get her PhD.

 

He brags about all of the costly renovations he's done on his home, himself...and when I told him I had just a few things to do with mine (it's fairly new and the basement isn't finished), he sort of made a comment that came across (could have been my perception) as it being odd why I haven't gotten these things finished. I make a decent living but I'm sure he makes at least twice what I do. He brags about he's impulsive when it comes to buying things......basically the bottom line is that he has so much money that he can afford to be impulsive. For example, he went out a few months ago and bought a limited edition Harley (he has #62/there were only 200 made). He told me it cost him $50,000 and he didn't even shop around. He told me how his brothers wanted to have a party at his place when he got home from overseas last time and they suggested playing pool (billiards), so as soon as he got back into the country, he went straight to the store and paid an admittedly exorbitant amount of money - all because he wanted the table delivered to his home that day. He spoked about the expensive golf clubs he got, he just bought them, didn't even shop around.

 

With his job, he's travelled and worked all over the world and he goes away on fancy vacations to Jamaice and the Dominican at least twice a year like it's nothing. Well of course he can, he's loaded and he gets a whole month off, every second month.

 

He asked if I like to go to Jamaica. Well I haven't travelled much because I've really never had the opportunity or the money or the time to get away (I have such a busy job that I really can't afford to take more than 5 days off at a time or I'm too swamped when I get back). I could sense this might be an "issue" for him, that I'm not the big traveller that he is.

 

He asked if I like to ride horses because when he goes to Jamaica, he spends time there riding horses (woop de doo). I told him I'd hurt my back a few years ago and unfortunately, bouncing up and down on a horse would kill my back. To be honest, I rode horses as a teen and it was "okay", not something I loved.

 

He has now gotten into golf. He asked if I golf. Well gee, when the hell do I have time to golf? I work 10-12 hr days 5 days a week. The weekend goes by so quickly by the time I do my housework, laundry, get groceries, sit down and catch my breath - I don't have this life of leisure that he has (having a month off). And actually, I did used to golf a lot but since I hurt my back, I'd tried getting back into it but swinging the club really bothered my back so bad that I could barely walk for 2 days and I've had no real desire to do it since. I didn't want to sound like some cripple so I didn't tell him that.

 

He has an RV he bought and loves to camp. He suggested that when we meet in person in July, if we hit it off like he thinks we will, and we start seeing each other, we could spend most of our weekends camping. What? I'm not 20 years old any more. I'm no longer wanting to spend every free minute I have with someone. I own a home, have responsibilities, I have no desire to spend most of my weekends off camping when I have a lot of things back home to do (yardwork, laundry, housework, work I often bring home on the weekends, maybe a little "me" time). Not all of us have a month off to laze around and goof off having fun.

 

He has his own home but his female cousin is living with him (with her boyfriend) so she basically keeps the house up while he's gone and of course even when he's back. He doesn't even have to worry about chores and all that.

 

He wanted to talk on the phone today so he phoned me and we talked for a couple of hours.

 

He started telling me, quite vaguely, how he'd planned to go to Jamaica this year but his ex GF screwed up when she booked the tickets and he couldn't get the time off work so he lost the tickets (he'd paid for them both) - but then said the reason he didn't go was because he found out she was really "married" and he told her he wasn't comfortable sleeping with her, while she was also sleeping with her husband. Although he'd like me to believe that he was dating her and had no idea she was married, reading between the lines I can tell he knew she was. How could I date a man who would be willing to be the OM even if it was only for a short time? He had to have known because he said she used to come over to his house in the morning before she went to work. Well gee, wouldn't that have been a clue?

 

On top of it all, my life is a little complicated by the fact that I have a cat with diabetes, who gets a shot of insulin twice a day (morning and night) and I must check his blood sugar 3 or 4 times a day as well. He's done well now for 2 years but it's been a long battle getting him stabilized and regulated. I have yet to go anywhere "overnight" because I just can't find anyone I would trust enough to care for him in my absence and boarding him at a Vet all weekend would be out of the question because he would be so upset and traumatized to be caged up and the Vet clinics here aren't even open all weekend anyway.

 

I feel that I myself make things complicated - with my back, my cat.....but also, I think this is a guy who has a cushy life, who can basically take a vacation every month if he wants, who has more money than he knows what to do with, who has little responsibility when he gets back home.....and I'm just a simple hard working woman who does have to budget and I can't just go out and drop $50,000 on something.

 

I guess this post is just my way of sorting out what i'm going to do. I don't want to lead him one these next 3 weeks that he's gone, and continue to email back and forth with him if I sense that we wouldn't be a good match, I don't think that would be fair. What do you make of this guy so far based on what I've shared?

 

And to add, he's never asked me anything about myself, my family, my job, my friends, my interests, my nothing. Most of our 2 hr conversatioin today was him talking about his job and his money and his things and his time off and his trips. I don't want to judge him because maybe he feels he has to be that way to impress a woman, maybe he's been with women in the past who wanted that kind of man - he did say some of his past girlfriends have been high maintenance (I surely am not, I take care of myself).

[ishouldgiveup]

Hello again,

 

I guess in an attempt to keep my original post as short as I could though giving enough details, I forgot some other key points.

 

Why do guys, when you first meet them (this surely isn't the first time this has happened), make it a point to let you know that their exes were all gorgeous women and that other men drooled all over them? I guess they say these things maybe in an attempt to boost their ego and make you think they must be something special themself, to have attracted all these gorgeous women?

 

I wouldn't dream of telling any prospective partner that my past boyfriends were hot looking, it would just seem so unnecessary to divulge this kind of info. No?

 

This current guy, when I wrote the question about has he dated much in the past, he wrote back to let me know he's been engaged twice, his first fiance was a model and all the guys at the bars would be drooling all over her, that his second fiance (from ?5 years ago), she "looked the same" (meaning she was also gorgeous/model-like) and that she was so hard working, she was a Nurses Aide, a registered nurse *and* a Psychologist (now this doesn't even make sense to me because a person wouldn't be all three, obviously...you would BE whatever your highest level of education was, I mean, a psychologist wouldn ALSO work as a nurses aide, come on. And he spoke about how she left for Saudi at the end of their relationship, because she wanted to go be a nurse there - so if she was truly a psychologist, why would she work as a nurse? My God, a psychologist is a doctor, that's many years of schooling, why would you throw that away and work as a nurse for half the money? I suspect he's exaggerating her credentials to make her sound very successful in addition to being gorgeous, perhaps to make himself look like he was a catch himself, to have snagged someone like her).

 

he speaks about exes in the past who cheated on him and how it never failed, they always "came back crying a few days later, begging him to give them a second chance after they realized the grass wasn't greener on the other side."

 

Cocky? Insecure?

 

I am not a supermodel or what anyone would call "gorgeous" - I am attractive but I consider myself to be average. I've been called attractive for sure but to some I might not be. Do I really want to get mixed up with someone who's so hung up on a woman's looks? - such that they have to tell someone they've just met that their exes were models? and gorgeous?

 

He doesn't seem arrogant about his own looks in fact he was nervous about sending me his pictures, and he seemed genuine in his concern that I might not find him attractive (though i do). He's seen my pics.

[ishouldgiveup]

I apologize for writing volumes, I know that's a turn off but I would sure be very grateful for anyone's thoughts on this, I have to decide soon what I'm going to do, there is no sense continuing to communicate if there's no point..and I don't want to lead him on.

 

Thank you.

[boatdriver]

i read your post with some sense of emphathy, but i dont know if for you or the guy!!! I am sorta like the guy you have been writing--(assuming if he is what he says he is). i got hurt on a shipping accident, sued for a load of money, and now can do what i want. in one way, its great to just be able to go and do with no notice. i just got back from being in the bahamas all winter on a yacht that i was running--i was free to take that job, enjoy the scenery and weather, and also get paid for doing it. On the other hand, you can only spend so much time in paradise before it gets boring, so your priorities change.

I also met this girl over a year ago, at the beach of course, who lived 2 hours away, and we hit it off. she was a lot like you apparently... independant, had her own house and was trying to fix it up, etc. it was difficult in finding time to be together, because i was basically off whenever and she was off just on the weekends. she also had other responsibilities like you. but she hated her job, and i always felt that deep down she resented me for not having it as tough as she had. some of your writing appears to me to have that tone in it, if all this guy has said is true.

 

But I really never let on to her that basically i have enuf money invested to retire now and be ok when i'm old, because i didnt want her to like me for money, but for myself. so i just told her that i deliver yachts to various places, and the timetables were unpredictable. That was and is my job.

 

It turns out that i really didnt like her all that much because she never liked herself. she couldnt figure out that the secret of happines is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have. Whatever you get, however big your house or your boat, there will always be somebody with a bigger one out there.

 

So i include this background to show that things were similar in some areas, even though i approached her in the opposite way as this guy is approaching you.

 

in reading your situation, I have learned from being around a lot of people with real money, on these yachts, that they never brag about what they have. they dont have to, and they dont give a crap if you or anyone else know it. its like an old guy told me once " if you have to tell somebody that you are the captain, then you aint!!" If you have to tell people you are rich, then you probably aint. they just know it. i guess their success was based upon their self confidence, high self esteem, and they dont need you to believe that they are great so that they can convince themselves.

 

they actually play down their wealth, and never dicuss money, unless they are talking about saving it somehow. now i'm not saying that every once in a while you meet some gold chain wearing idiot on a searay or something that pulls in, trying to show off and impress everyone. usually they are financed to the hilt with a bunch of interest -only loans. (If they truly had the smarts to buy a high dollar boat, they wouldnt be in a searay!!) they are shooting stars that burn out rather quickly and just disappear.

 

So i think you are correct in your thoughts about this braggart---he is is trying to compensate for his own insecurities--believe me, i have seen this countless times, when the puppies try to run with the big dogs. All this stuff with the trips, the money, the harley ( he's a moron if he paid 50K for a harley in this market, but of course his is "special"), the exGF models, sounds like BS to me. next time he calls, tell him brad pitt is on the other line and you will have to call him back.

 

so why do all this stuff?? probably because it works on a lot of women---they go for the shiny stuff to sooth their own egos. It sounds to me like you dont need all that- you are strong and independant, and have enuf self esteem that you dont need a keeper.

 

All of this is beside the point---All of it may be BS anyway. you've never seen this guy and everything he as said could be a lie. You are assuming everything he has said is the truth. It would seem that his disinterest in what you do is just another sign of his self involvement. i think you sense that from what you have written. the real test in what kind of a person he is is what he does, rather than what he says.

 

Just ask yourself, just from what he has written, your phone call, and your gut instinct about him telling you about doing his own repairs, etc., would you expect him to say "hey, i have all this free time and its hurricane season in jamaica, why dont i help you finish up that basement of yours???" it would surprise me. maybe even you.

 

thats what i did for my ex-- i did basements, columns, trimmed doors, etc. on weekends, even took her dog to the vet. And i paid for most off it!!. with her thinking i was light in money and still letting me do the work and picking up most of the tab, i soon figured out that she MUST be high maintenance!!!!ha

but at least i got to experiment on hers so i can do mine right!!

 

maybe he wants to camp out every weekend because in reality he lives in it and just keeps it at his cousins house when and if he's gone. it seems like he makes a lot of excuses.

so i just thought i'd write because i was sorta on the other side of this. but just do what your gut tells you.... its usually right, or it wouldnt be talking.

 

But my own BS metter is oscillating, even if its not near the pegged out mark yet. i have never been on one of the dating sites, but i have heard that a lot of people write what they want to be , rather than what they are. you seem like a trusting person, and naturally you want to believe people, but time will always tell. just be careful. now i have to go bury a small rabbit that a neighbor's CAT tortured yesterday and which i tried to rescue. man, those cats do kill a lot of birds and things. i guess it just comes natural. So i have no coment on your CAT right now!!!!!!!

[d'Arthez]

First of all, the impression I get from this guy, is that his money speaks his mind. It's all about him, and about how he chooses to spend his time. The fact that he asks so little about you, or that he does not realize the total impossibilities of you playing golf on a very regular basis, and such, are pointing to possible problems if a relationship were to happen.

This would be a structural thing, so that if something more were to develop, it would be something you would deal with on a constant basis. He might be autistic, as he is unable to look at things from a different perspective than his own. Not easy to live with, but he might be completely unaware of things.

Autism is one possibility, the other possibility would be self-centeredness. From what you wrote the latter is highly likely.

 

And that is assuming that you don't have a problem with having a relationship with a man, who makes everything about himself. However, from the things you have written, that is not the case. So I would be very cautious if and when you would meet him in a months time.

 

The fact that he commented on his ex's physical appearance only shows that he thinks in terms of money / appearance equalling a right to this or that. Possibly the second fiancee was "underqualified" to be with him. And he made up the unlikely nurse / psychologist combination. Perhaps he is afraid to sell himself short, as if he were but an economic entity.

 

I h ave only commented, based on the premisse that he was actually telling the truth. The truth might be different, all together, than what he made it out to be. Even if it were the truth, I would see quite a few things to worry about. Of course, things might be different, than the way he presented it.

 

Regardless of the exact cause to his behaviors, it is something you will have to deal with, if you let things progress further. You will have to ask these questions yourself. You seem to be highly bothered by his behavior and his lack of conversation skills. It would be unwise to give him the impression that nothing is bothering you; as to the wisdom of actually meeting each other, that is something you might want to reconsider.

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

For being such a "great catch", I'm having trouble figuring out why you're with this guy. He sounds about as deep as a puddle. Is "shallow" his middle name?

 

Look, I'll make this very simple for you... Keep the cat, ditch the boy.

 

Keep looking. Somewhere out there is a man for you who is not so self-absorbed and will value the important things in life.

[westernxer]

I think the guy's full of it, when he isn't full of himself.

[debs]

*laughing* Oh lets wager since he has not sent a picture he is bald and weighs 300 lbs!

 

I am curious does he use only a cell phone to talk on the phone! As we all know you can be anywhere with a cell phone!

 

I like the idea up there ^^^^ you have Brad Pitt on the line and will have to call the bragger back!

 

You are sensing many red flags! I get the red flags when someone will not part with a picture of themselves, complain way too much are hyper critical or they say things like see how everyone likes me? Oh yuck! Talk about stuck on themselves!

 

My best advice to you is be honest with the guy and just email him if your squeamish doing it on the phone, that your sorry but your just not into him and he would fare better to keep up his search!

[westernxer]

This guy has pulled so many niceties out of his ass that he's running out of intestinal fortitude.

 

I hope ishouldgiveup sees the light and cuts him off. If she doesn't, he's gonna lead her to a place where the sun don't shine.

[debs]

lol

the best part is if they did meet in a crowded airport or public place the poor girl wouldn't even know who he was!

 

Oh but this is sad and guys like that give net dating a bad wrap!

[westernxer]

Originally posted by debs

Oh but this is sad and guys like that give net dating a bad wrap!

 

Online dating... you get whatever you get. It's promoted as something fun with pictures of wholesome, healthy people having a good time, but the reality is something completely different: a bunch of over-the-top, desperate, insecure misfits looking for a place to pull a fast one. Every guy is rich and every gal is hot, and every pic is five years old, not to mention faded and worn-out.

 

I've actually done the online thing, and it was definitely an experience to remember (or not). Not sure I'd ever do it again. That's all I'm gonna say.

[d'Arthez]

For some people the concept of honesty seems a joke. I am thinking both of the users and the critics of online dating.

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Originally posted by westernxer

Online dating... you get whatever you get. It's promoted as something fun with pictures of wholesome, healthy people having a good time, but the reality is something completely different: a bunch of over-the-top, desperate, insecure misfits looking for a place to pull a fast one. Every guy is rich and every gal is hot, and every pic is five years old, not to mention faded and worn-out.

 

I've actually done the online thing, and it was definitely an experience to remember (or not). Not sure I'd ever do it again. That's all I'm gonna say.

 

Hey now! Not everyone who tries online dating is an over-the-top, desperate, insecure misfit. Some of us are pretty, well-adjusted, normal, busy career women who just don't want to limit our dating choices to the grabby, drunk guys in the bars.

[westernxer]

Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken

Hey now! Not everyone who tries online dating is an over-the-top, desperate, insecure misfit.

 

I know... but it's fun to poke fun, that's all, and it gets a reaction.

[westernxer]

Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken

Hey now! Not everyone who tries online dating is an over-the-top, desperate, insecure misfit.

 

I know... but it's fun to poke fun, and it gets a reaction.

 

Just a dishonest critic here.

[ishouldgiveup]

Originally posted by d'Arthez

First of all, the impression I get from this guy, is that his money speaks his mind. It's all about him, and about how he chooses to spend his time. The fact that he asks so little about you, or that he does not realize the total impossibilities of you playing golf on a very regular basis, and such, are pointing to possible problems if a relationship were to happen.

This would be a structural thing, so that if something more were to develop, it would be something you would deal with on a constant basis. He might be autistic, as he is unable to look at things from a different perspective than his own. Not easy to live with, but he might be completely unaware of things.

Autism is one possibility, the other possibility would be self-centeredness. From what you wrote the latter is highly likely.

 

And that is assuming that you don't have a problem with having a relationship with a man, who makes everything about himself. However, from the things you have written, that is not the case. So I would be very cautious if and when you would meet him in a months time.

 

The fact that he commented on his ex's physical appearance only shows that he thinks in terms of money / appearance equalling a right to this or that. Possibly the second fiancee was "underqualified" to be with him. And he made up the unlikely nurse / psychologist combination. Perhaps he is afraid to sell himself short, as if he were but an economic entity.

 

I h ave only commented, based on the premisse that he was actually telling the truth. The truth might be different, all together, than what he made it out to be. Even if it were the truth, I would see quite a few things to worry about. Of course, things might be different, than the way he presented it.

 

Regardless of the exact cause to his behaviors, it is something you will have to deal with, if you let things progress further. You will have to ask these questions yourself. You seem to be highly bothered by his behavior and his lack of conversation skills. It would be unwise to give him the impression that nothing is bothering you; as to the wisdom of actually meeting each other, that is something you might want to reconsider.

 

I thank you all for the time you took to read through my long posts and give me your feedback.

 

To those who thought maybe he's not even overseas, well I know for a fact that he is. I have called him and it goes through what's call an "African Tie Line" and I go through his company, and I have to select what location of the world I'm trying to reach - so I know it's legit.

 

I do think he exaggerates a great deal. He called me briefly last night, to ask if I could call him. He says for him to call back home, it's $1 USD per minute and his last stint overseas, he'd racked up $1200 USD in calls he'd made back home and he didn't want to push his luck with his company. He suggested I call through one of those discount phone service things (10-10-925) and then it would only cost ME 5 cents a minute (when I call, it actually goes through California, so I'm not calling a line in Africa). Who the heck does he call when he's there that works out to 1200 minutes? He says it's calls to his brothers, his Dad. Hmmm.

 

So when we talked, as per usual, all he did was talk about work, all of his responsibility, how he's going offshore to a rig tomorrow, all he has to do there, how he did at their company golf tourney in the past, himself, etc. He did a lot of complaining about how it's tough work overseas for a month, some of the conditions he has to live in when on a rig. I started to talk about my own job, how I'm underpaid, work tons of overtime I don't get paid for, put hundreds and hundreds of miles on my car that I don't get properly reimbursed for (I travel in my job), how it's very stressful and I am looking for something better - and all he could say was "well I guess everyone has complaints about their job".....it was almost like he was telling me to quit complaining, which is ironic because all his emails and conversations consist of are complaints about his job, oh but along with how if he has to work Christmas day over there, he gets paid $1000 a day, tax free..and how all the money he makes over there (the big bucks) is tax free.

 

Now I'm surely not jealous of the money he apparently makes - but I do find it a little offensive and arrogant that he doesn't seem to realize that not everyone makes that kind of coin. It definitely came across when he seemed shocked that I still had stuff in my home to finish (basement, insulate and drywall garage)......almost like he was thinking, "geez lady, why didn't you just do it all yourself or hire someone to do it?"

 

he's bragged numerous times about his great house and the $100,000 he's sure he's spent @ Home Depot over the past few years, related to the 4 rental properties he owned PLUS his own home's renovations. Of course interestingly enough, he "just" sold his 4 rental properties because he couldn't deal with the hassle of being a landlord.

 

He brags about the 64" projection TV/screen he has ,the italian tile flooring he installed, the hot tub, his huge private yard, etc.

 

Funny thing though.........prior to him leaving overseas, he gave me his home # and said I could call before he left to "say hello" (but i didn't). I did a reverse look-up on it. It comes back to someone with a different name than his ,and a different address. He's told me where his house is, it's on the corner of 2 well known streets. Now this is odd because he's lived in this home for 9 years and although he may have lived with exes before, even if the phone HAD BEEN in their name, I'm sure after they broke up, the phone wouldn't have remained in their name. He did say he'd rented out his house a couple of times, just because he wasn't there very often.......so do you think a previous tenant would still have the phone there in their name? I don't think so. He does have his female cousin who supposedly moved in with him 2 months ago, guess it could be hers but she just moved from another part of the country............i suppose it's possible that he asked her to put the phone in her name??

 

I find he contradicts himself, and exaggerates. Tells me he was so good @ playing hockey as a kid that he could have easily made it in the NHL but that he "broke his knee in 5 places" and that ended that dream. I laughed when he told me this (to myself)...the knee is a joint, it's not a bone like the femur.......you can't break your knee...you can bust your kneecap or tear major ligaments but break it in 5 places? Um, okay.

 

He says there was this "school teacher" that he'd dated only ONCE in the past..........she apparently lived close to his brother and sister inlaw, and he met her when she'd babysit their new twins. Now color me stupid but how many teachers are going to work all day then go babysit someone's kids? He specifically told me in one of his earlier emails that he had "one quick date" with her and that there was no chemistry, although she was very into him, even going so far as telling his brother/sister inlaw that she "really loved him." I asked him why things didn't work out.....he first said that it was because she was "overweight".......then said it was because she was lazy, didn't keep her house clean, drank too much and smoked weed.

 

I asked him about this last night...........if they'd only dated ONCE, how could she "love him"? He then says he didn't date her "just once" (though this contradicts his earlier email totally, I know what I read).....several times they went out and did things...........but he just didn't feel the chemistry and told her he just wanted to be friends. Says she was very upset, told him apparently that she'd "do anything for him" and would be there waiting for him while he was overseas. I said, "oh, I though you ended it because she was a drunk and into drugs" (he's against drugs totally, can't take the risk with his job either, being around someone who'd smoke them because they do random drug tests @ work, he's a Safety manager).........he then sort of backtracked and said "oh yeah"..............but then I said, "well I thought it was becuase she was overweight, so how overweight was she?" He said she must have been about 165 lbs. I asked how tall she was...he said she was about his height, 5'11". I told him that for a girl that tall, how is that really overweight? He then backpedalled and said "oh, she was likely 5'9"............. It's ironic, considering he admits he's 25 lbs overweight right now.

 

He went on to tell me every job he's ever had, how he became a manager @ the age of 25.........all about him.

 

Tells me he pays for the satellite dishes his 2 brothers have and how it costs him $300-$400 a month because they watch a lot of movies and pay per view and how he's had to lock out some stuff so they couldn't access all this stuff. Though yesterday he told me they are pipefitters and make $3000 a WEEK doing what they do. I asked him why he pays for this for them if they make more than some men make in a month to support a family? He just says they're bad with their money.

 

It's all very crazy.

 

And yes, I have seen pictures of him now.........he's no Brad Pitt but he's decent looking. They weren't the best pics, he admitted they weren't........one of him after he'd worked out, was all sweaty..........one of him on the beach in Jamaica. I've seen enough pics to believe they're him, I mean, it's not like he's some hot model.......he's just an average looking guy.

 

He brags about being an engineer yet he says he went to college. Here, in order to be an engineer, you have to go to University for @ least 4 yrs...I know, I've dated 2 engineers in the past who work in the same line of work he does.

 

I think he's just a big mouth exaggerator who's very insecure deep down - and he's stuck on himself, embellishes things, talks a big game, brags himself up, thinks that that kind of thing is attractive to women. Maybe it is to some, it's not to me. He seems like the kind of guy who'd never respect the fact that I worked my duff off for 6 years in college, got a good career, am independent, take care of myself, am self-reliant, own my own home, a good SUV and car...........that I've worked hard to get where I'm at. I think all of that wouldn't mean too much to him, though he's funny because he says that a lot of women out there are just after him for his money...........well geez dude, brag about the 50K you dropped for the limited edition Harley that you barely ride and your big RV.....and what do you expect to attract? (or turn-off).

 

Thanks all.

[Jey Dey Dey]

I think he's just a big mouth exaggerator who's very insecure deep down - and he's stuck on himself, embellishes things, talks a big game, brags himself up, thinks that that kind of thing is attractive to women. Maybe it is to some, it's not to me. He seems like the kind of guy who'd never respect the fact that I worked my duff off for 6 years in college, got a good career, am independent, take care of myself, am self-reliant, own my own home, a good SUV and car...........that I've worked hard to get where I'm at. I think all of that wouldn't mean too much to him, though he's funny because he says that a lot of women out there are just after him for his money...........well geez dude, brag about the 50K you dropped for the limited edition Harley that you barely ride and your big RV.....and what do you expect to attract? (or turn-off).

 

Thanks all.

 

 

He probably has money but not as much as he says he does. You've worked hard but he can't get that, you work hard and complain but he can't understand it because he has never done it. He probably got his money from his parents. When a guy talks about himself all the time and doesn't ask you the same question you asked him, he's not interested. He's not getting to know you, he just wants to talk about himself and how great he is. Maybe 20% of what he as told you is truth.

 

You don't need this, you deserve better. Cut him off, it will make him feel like ****. That someone that's not on his level (according to him, the way he talks he distances himself from you) doesn't want anything to with him. Seriously cut him off completely, he doesnt deserve your time, don't invest any more time in this guy. Give another guy a chance. One that is hardworking, honest, and wants to know about you.