GTR King Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 I have used tinder POF OKCupid Oasis... POF (Joined November 2013) (Started using it properly Feb 2014) Got 3 dates from it (Don't use it much now) OK Cupid (Joined April 2014) No dates (Hardly anyone in my area use it) Tinder (Joined October 2014) 4 Dates (2 of the girls I date for 1.5 months & 2.5 months) use it quite a bit now get quite a matched but few dates... Is paid dating site's like match.com/eharmony any better?? I got told that people are actually looking for a relationship and won't mess you about on there is this true?? or should I just stick to the free sites?? it's £41.94 for 6 months match.com How do you know the user has paid or not??
Shanex Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 I'd expect no scammers or fake profiles from paid dating sites at least. But its still quite some money a month for getting few dates, after a year, yep that goes up to lot of $$$ or pounds for you mate. I'm sticking to free dating sites, POF and okc are getting a bit old, and indeed few people still use them, those who do, even if you have decent pics and a full profile don't have the decency to respond (10 messages sent, 1 reply, not even a date) I got tired of it. I don't use Tinder but I'm told it works pretty fine and much better actually than other more traditional sites.
Author GTR King Posted February 21, 2016 Author Posted February 21, 2016 I know who you fell... yeah I would expect the same if joined match.com getting bored of pof etc as not many replies etc and same users on there.
PogoStick Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 That's who I fell too. Hurt my knees bad.
thecrucible Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 It depends where you live as well. I live in a rural area and I doubt I would get many more matches if I paid for online dating - that's what puts me off and I've been on the fence about it for a while. I'm holding back for now as since I'm disillusioned with free online dating, I doubt I'll use paid online dating to its full potential.
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 I know who you fell... yeah I would expect the same if joined match.com getting bored of pof etc as not many replies etc and same users on there. If you're not getting replies on free sites, paying for it isn't going to make you more attractive. 1
Author GTR King Posted February 21, 2016 Author Posted February 21, 2016 I know... I looked on match.com all the users/girls I saw I haven't seen on the free ones at all... I do get replies but not 100s every month
PegNosePete Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 Is paid dating site's like match.com/eharmony any better?? I got told that people are actually looking for a relationship and won't mess you about on there is this true?? or should I just stick to the free sites?? Personally I would stick to the free ones. It is not true that people will "mess you about" less. People are people. The usual line of thought is that people are more likely to be serious users rather than attention seekers, fakes, drunk bets, experiments by guys to see how many messages women get, etc. That may be true: if you're paying for a sub you might be more likely to respond to a message. Therefore on a paid site you might expect a higher response rate. However the enormous drag factor working against you, is the massive number of "create a free account to look around" users. These users can't even read your messages, let alone respond. You never know who is a trial user or who has paid up when you message them (otherwise who would waste their time messaging a trial user?). In fact it is in the site's interests that you message as many trial users as possible, to encourage them to pay up, to read their 100 waiting messages! Therefore your response rate will be lowered because most of the messages you send can't be read, because the users are not paid up. Swings and roundabouts. A higher response rate due to people being more serious, but a lower response rate due to the number of trial users. One is free, the other costs money and is no better. To me the choice is obvious.
Toodaloo Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 I tried a paid site and it was a disaster. Paid a lot of money to be totally ignored for over 6 months. Apart from one guy who was very dull, a heavy drinker and really not a good match for me at all. Next I tried OK Cupid which was a bit better, but I notice that it tends to have more members in the larger cities. So if you are small town or rural you may have to look a bit harder or travel further. Currently on PoF and that is where I have had the best results. Yes I have to filter out a lot, yes I have to deal with the a holes etc but I have met people and had some great dates with guys from there. Sadly its not worked out yet but if you filter properly and don't get dragged into any of the weirdness that can go on its actually quite good. Oh and free...! Thats my tuppence worth.
scooby-philly Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 So..... Let me use analogy. Not sure if it works, but what the heck. With OLD, free sites are like playing soccer in a pick-up league with few rules and not cost. With paid sites, you're still playing a game, it's just a better game because of the fees. You'll still get people playing who shouldn't. you'll play with people better or worse than you. It just cuts out 75% of the crap. Note - 75 not 100% I've used them all. In terms of paid sites I've sued both Match and EHarmony. EHarmony sucks. I don't mind being "matched" with people - but they retain complete control over who you see and get matched with. there's no searching options at all. After 6-12 months about 2 or 4 years ago (don't remember if it was before or after the first ex gf,) I stopped using it eventually because they weren't sending me any matches within even 75 miles. I mean, I live in a place where in 75 miles there's like 25-30 million people. Million. Seriously? They don't get that people will move WITH somebody they love. Not move to MEET someone they're a great "match with". Match has a lot of people on it. If you're okay with being straight forward and slightly unapologetic - it works. I mean, there's till fake profiles. You don't have to pay to create one - and you can harass people - liking photos, sending winks, etc with a fake account. I flag as many as I can see. Or they're created by someone advertising for a website. Also, just because people pay for a membership does it mean that 1. They're really ready for a relationship 2. Have a good idea what a relationship means. 3. Want the same things you do. I skim past people who put 3-4 sentences in their profiles or don't have most of their preferences filled out (for a partner). Just the other day i got a wink from a woman. Great profile but she said she hopped around a bit moving after college but was ready to settle down. Well, I've been burned badly before so I emailed her, said great profile, asked her some questions and told her I was looking for something serious and if she was, let me know. Haven't gotten a response yet. Maybe she got turned off by it. Maybe she found someone else. But anyway, I'm not going to apologize for that. You need to have a little bit of a thick skin (not too thick) to make it worth your time - but if you put the effort it, it's worth it.
AMJ Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 So..... Let me use analogy. Not sure if it works, but what the heck. With OLD, free sites are like playing soccer in a pick-up league with few rules and not cost. With paid sites, you're still playing a game, it's just a better game because of the fees. You'll still get people playing who shouldn't. you'll play with people better or worse than you. It just cuts out 75% of the crap. Note - 75 not 100% I've used them all. In terms of paid sites I've sued both Match and EHarmony. EHarmony sucks. I don't mind being "matched" with people - but they retain complete control over who you see and get matched with. there's no searching options at all. After 6-12 months about 2 or 4 years ago (don't remember if it was before or after the first ex gf,) I stopped using it eventually because they weren't sending me any matches within even 75 miles. I mean, I live in a place where in 75 miles there's like 25-30 million people. Million. Seriously? They don't get that people will move WITH somebody they love. Not move to MEET someone they're a great "match with". Match has a lot of people on it. If you're okay with being straight forward and slightly unapologetic - it works. I mean, there's till fake profiles. You don't have to pay to create one - and you can harass people - liking photos, sending winks, etc with a fake account. I flag as many as I can see. Or they're created by someone advertising for a website. Also, just because people pay for a membership does it mean that 1. They're really ready for a relationship 2. Have a good idea what a relationship means. 3. Want the same things you do. I skim past people who put 3-4 sentences in their profiles or don't have most of their preferences filled out (for a partner). Just the other day i got a wink from a woman. Great profile but she said she hopped around a bit moving after college but was ready to settle down. Well, I've been burned badly before so I emailed her, said great profile, asked her some questions and told her I was looking for something serious and if she was, let me know. Haven't gotten a response yet. Maybe she got turned off by it. Maybe she found someone else. But anyway, I'm not going to apologize for that. You need to have a little bit of a thick skin (not too thick) to make it worth your time - but if you put the effort it, it's worth it. How did you sue eharmony?? I need my money back. That has been a giant waste of money. Match is good though.
Maggie4 Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 I think a paid site is not better for a man, because a sought-after woman already gets a lot of attention in real life and on free sites, so why should she pay unless she lives in a rural area, in which case it wouldn't help you to pay to find her unless you live in the same rural area. Just keep your eyes open when you're out, and if you see an attractive woman, ask her out. It's free.
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 I've done just about all the paid sites at some point in my life and what I've learned is that they are no less immune to a**holes, liars, cheaters, scammers and just plain jugheads all looking for the same things. The perception is that paid sites means people are more serious about wanting a relationship when in fact that's not necessarily the case at all. I ended up on date with a man off of eHarmony who was MARRIED! Another one just wanted a NSA booty call. And don't even get me started with the kind of men I came across on Christian Mingle! OLD is a numbers game so stick with what gives you the most hits and just remain discerning. 2
AMJ Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 I've done just about all the paid sites at some point in my life and what I've learned is that they are no less immune to a**holes, liars, cheaters, scammers and just plain jugheads all looking for the same things. The perception is that paid sites means people are more serious about wanting a relationship when in fact that's not necessarily the case at all. I ended up on date with a man off of eHarmony who was MARRIED! Another one just wanted a NSA booty call. And don't even get me started with the kind of men I came across on Christian Mingle! OLD is a numbers game so stick with what gives you the most hits and just remain discerning. Oooohhh I want to hear Christian Mingle stories!! 1
Larryville Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 It depends where you live as well. I live in a rural area and I doubt I would get many more matches if I paid for online dating - that's what puts me off and I've been on the fence about it for a while. I'm holding back for now as since I'm disillusioned with free online dating, I doubt I'll use paid online dating to its full potential. 'Ive done just about all the paid sites at some point in my life and what I've learned is that they are no less immune to a**holes, liars, cheaters, scammers and just plain jugheads all looking for the same things. The perception is that paid sites means people are more serious about wanting a relationship when in fact that's not necessarily the case at all. I ended up on date with a man off of eHarmony who was MARRIED! Another one just wanted a NSA booty call. I tried a paid site and it was a disaster. Paid a lot of money to be totally ignored for over 6 months. Apart from one guy who was very dull, a heavy drinker and really not a good match for me at all. I’ve had this debate with so many people, where you live has a great deal with so called choices available to you. You folks on the coasts will or should have it easier, more people… I live in the Kansas City Metropolitan area if I take a far east and far west border driving distance that is 143 miles, population in that area is about 1.8 million. Do the math folks regardless of what site you use paid, free, specialty a significant number of people use several sites why would anyone think one site is better than any other? A few women I conversed with in the past are on as many as 4 or 5 sites, they just recycle themselves. The notion of "choice" is a fantasy. It’s a numbers game I’ve mentioned before (Google Ted Talk “How I Hacked Online Dating”) 17 min ling but definitely worth the view time. Not earth shattering but will open your eyes to some stuff most people just don’t take into consideration. I met many via POF, a few on Match (Match had too many fake profiles, but the overall quality was generally better), used OKC, EHarmony, Zoosk, Tinder briefly. The thing women do is put up different photos and draft different and conflicting profiles (yes, I’m sure dudes do this too…) but this is the reason why anyone should only put up a profile briefly but on occasion take a break and TAKE IT COMPLETELY DOWN. This is why these sites make so much freaking money, so many profiles are dead and way to many are people who are just screwing around and screwing with people. Regardless of the site, it is about your individual vetting process, actually reading profiles, and avoiding obvious red flags in profiles and photos.
lilmissjava Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 I have had more success on free site(s). OKC was more of a dirty message delivery depot for me. I no longer use it and don't intend to. POF was where I had the most success (in the 6 months I was active). Currently on hiatus because I don't feel safe driving anywhere in unpredictable winter conditions and don't want to come off as flaky or wishy-washy. Also because the pool of guys are the same ones that have been there since I first started OLD at the beginning of last summer. I don't have interest in them. However I can browse publicly and see if there is any new members from time to time. I did try Match in the fall, and it was a total waste of my money. I received messages from people that never sent them. A lot of fakery to lure you in.
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 Well I've just wasted another month being completely ignored on POF but I see no reason to go on the paid sites. From what I can tell they have pretty much the same people on them anyway. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 Oooohhh I want to hear Christian Mingle stories!! Out of all the dating sites, paid and unpaid, I've been on, Christian Mingle had to have been one of the sketchiest places I've experienced. Their tagline "Find God's match for you" is like a beacon for shady characters who prey on vulnerable, trusting and Christian-valued men and women who are putting their faith in a website and trusting that everyone is who they say they are. WRONG! The site is NOT immune to the perversion and temptations that plague every other dating site. Being "Christian" site and calling oneself Christian doesn't change any of that unfortunately. The only good thing I liked about being on that dating site was the forum. Members could interact and discuss all sorts of things including the disappointment with the quality of prospects. What I learned is that many members remain on the site more for the forum and interaction than for actually meeting and dating. Sad but true.
Miss Peach Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 I mostly have done free sites. I tried a paid site once and actually saw many of the same people that were on a free site. Several of them recognized me too. I only went on one date from the paid site that I wouldn't have gotten on the free site. I will never try it again for my area. Personally I prefer OKC because of the amount of data I can get to screen people upfront. OKC is pretty active in my area so it works well for me. BF told me about his OLD experiences. He mostly did paid sites but got very few dates and nothing lasted more than 1-2 dates.
thecrucible Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 Like Toodaloo, I've met more men for dates via POF than any other site. I don't think anyone is interested in me much anymore because I mostly get "hey how you doing?" as a message. :/ I'm still on OKC but dislike it as men of the guys are sleazy or there are sleazy couples who want you to join some threesome with them. That really irritates me because my profile does not say I am open to threesomes with couples!
phineas Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 When I did Match & Zoosk both had the same problem. You could not tell if the woman you were messaging was a paid member or not. That meant my message was going to someone or it was going into the void.
AMJ Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 Out of all the dating sites, paid and unpaid, I've been on, Christian Mingle had to have been one of the sketchiest places I've experienced. Their tagline "Find God's match for you" is like a beacon for shady characters who prey on vulnerable, trusting and Christian-valued men and women who are putting their faith in a website and trusting that everyone is who they say they are. WRONG! The site is NOT immune to the perversion and temptations that plague every other dating site. Being "Christian" site and calling oneself Christian doesn't change any of that unfortunately. The only good thing I liked about being on that dating site was the forum. Members could interact and discuss all sorts of things including the disappointment with the quality of prospects. What I learned is that many members remain on the site more for the forum and interaction than for actually meeting and dating. Sad but true. This is SO interesting! I've always wondered about that Christian Mingle. I'm not really religious, so I've never tried it. I do know a married couple who met on there. But that's sad if people are on there for the wrong reasons. I know another married couple who met on Jdate. I kinda get a kick out of all the niche sites. Like FamersOnly...lol.
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 This is SO interesting! I've always wondered about that Christian Mingle. I'm not really religious, so I've never tried it. I do know a married couple who met on there. But that's sad if people are on there for the wrong reasons. I know another married couple who met on Jdate. I kinda get a kick out of all the niche sites. Like FamersOnly...lol. I'm not particularly religious either but I came to the site out of sheer frustration with so many of the other sites. Surely the whole Christian angle would produce a better crop of quality prospects, right?
hippychick3 Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 I only did eHarmony and Match. It never even occurred to me to do a free website. I am very private and the idea that anyone in the world could see me on there freaked me out. I didn't want coworkers or neighbors looking me up. I figured the only people who could see me on the paid sites were those who were looking for dates. I admit I was probably paranoid. lol Anyway, just wanted to say that not everyone on a paid site is on a free site. I found the most dates on Match including current bf. I have close friends who met on EH. But, there are definitely less options on EH as they limit you to matches of the day. I would go weeks sometimes with zero matches (they have to meet your criteria) and was pissed that I was paying for nothing! I complained a couple times, and they extended my membership. Match was just like one huge and crowded bar...lots weeding through the bad, but also lots of selection.
Author GTR King Posted February 24, 2016 Author Posted February 24, 2016 (edited) Thanks guys... I am from a medium town (Population about 350,000 where Most of the girls are take etc) about 10/15 mins from the coast and about 1 hour 30 mins (Train) 2 hours (Car) From London.... All the girls I have seen on Match.com I don't find on tinder POF Etc but there isn't as many user as on the free ones.... Most of the girls on I see on POF I have already messaged them or been on there for ages... OKC Hardly anyone use it in my area of the uk... I usually put my search radius 25-40 miles away from me (Don't really wanna go further than that) When I go out clubbing most of the girls are 18-20/21... I am 25 (26 in August) I wanna find someone around my ages e.g 23-26 maybe 27/28 (But Most of them are taken or married ) Even most of the nice looking girls around my age at the council (Where I work) are take or married... I see them when I deliver their post etc... I usually get more pool of girls from my home town (Bath) when visit family Edited February 24, 2016 by GTR King
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