AMJ Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 I'd be interested to hear from a man who actually told all the women he dates, "I'm going to be sleeping with you AND these 4 others," and got really positive reactions.... LMAO off at this entire post. The truth is, very few women I've ever known have agreed to being a member of a harem. And it was never a good situation. It was every single time, because the girl had low self-esteem and was hoping the guy would dump the others and commit to her.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted February 26, 2016 Author Posted February 26, 2016 I think this sums it up. In the beginning, there is no need to be all rigid about exclusivity. The first few dates in, it is all about finding the chemistry and getting to know each other. Of COURSE people are exploring options. BUT, once the clothes come off, I am not a fan of being naked with multiple people. The idea of a man putting his penis in this vagina Thursday, and that one Friday, and another one Saturday....I'm sorry. That's just....ick to me. I guess if the women know they are swapping said penis back and forth and are fine with it, then no problem. For the record, I LOVE sex, and there aren't too many things that are off the table with me But with ONE man...not a whole "harem." I'd be interested to hear from a man who actually told all the women he dates, "I'm going to be sleeping with you AND these 4 others," and got really positive reactions.... I agree, I just meant options as in speaking to people, not necessarily having sex with all of them. I'm guessing this girl has a lot of options, people messaging her etc.
AMJ Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 I agree, I just meant options as in speaking to people, not necessarily having sex with all of them. I'm guessing this girl has a lot of options, people messaging her etc. If she sent you a snapchat, she probably still wants attention from you. I think you should just talk to her about it. Instead of sending her a snapchat, say- hey are you free tonight? I want to see you. I have no idea why guys aren't direct with their intentions anymore. It's like social media and texting has made the rules for communication so murky and people seem so confused about how to simply talk to each other. Bottom line, this is a girl you're dating, you just slept with, it's not weird to ask her to give you an hour of her time to talk to her!
Author Jimmyjackson Posted February 26, 2016 Author Posted February 26, 2016 If she sent you a snapchat, she probably still wants attention from you. I think you should just talk to her about it. Instead of sending her a snapchat, say- hey are you free tonight? I want to see you. I have no idea why guys aren't direct with their intentions anymore. It's like social media and texting has made the rules for communication so murky and people seem so confused about how to simply talk to each other. Bottom line, this is a girl you're dating, you just slept with, it's not weird to ask her to give you an hour of her time to talk to her! I already tried that! I just straight up asked her and she said she wasn't sure if she was still interested. She said it was awkward the next morning and that's why she had been distant. We talked a little more after that but then since then (Tuesday) we've barely spoken a word. I just feel that there's only so much chasing you can do before you just realise if someone wants you, they'll make it known? But then again she might not want me, probably doesn't for that matter. I've been pretty direct but I felt i've not been met half way kinda thing, only so much I can do without appearing needy.
AMJ Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 Gotcha. She sounds immature. You disappear, she'll suddenly wonder- where did Jimmy go? He was so nice, and he really liked me. Hmmm...then she'll send you daily snapchats.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted February 26, 2016 Author Posted February 26, 2016 Gotcha. She sounds immature. You disappear, she'll suddenly wonder- where did Jimmy go? He was so nice, and he really liked me. Hmmm...then she'll send you daily snapchats. Yeah I think so too, she knew I liked her and she told me she wanted something between us, have sex...then poof! Either she was lying and just found me sexually attractive or she has intentionally pulled away because she claims she doesn't get feelings for people. Who knows. Time will tell I guess
Author Jimmyjackson Posted February 26, 2016 Author Posted February 26, 2016 Got another snapchat...just ignored it. Can't be bothered with these half hearted attempts to make contact. 1
PrettyEmily77 Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 Got another snapchat...just ignored it. Can't be bothered with these half hearted attempts to make contact. So you needn't have worried after all - turns out you're not nearly as needy as you think 2
Author Jimmyjackson Posted February 26, 2016 Author Posted February 26, 2016 So you needn't have worried after all - turns out you're not nearly as needy as you think Haha maybe yeah. I do miss speaking to her though I just know it's pointless me reaching out. What I want to do: contact What I should do: ignore 1
Author Jimmyjackson Posted February 27, 2016 Author Posted February 27, 2016 Got another snapchat after ignoring the last. Telling me I was being a typical boy. I asked what she meant and she wouldn't tell me. Told her I can't be bothered with immature **** and she said she wasn't going to tell me now I'd insulted her lol. This girl is confusing, did she expect me not to ask what she meant? Why can't she just tell me!
joseb Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 Got another snapchat after ignoring the last. Telling me I was being a typical boy. I asked what she meant and she wouldn't tell me. Told her I can't be bothered with immature **** and she said she wasn't going to tell me now I'd insulted her lol. This girl is confusing, did she expect me not to ask what she meant? Why can't she just tell me! Don't respond to these kind of messages. She is playing with you. And she got you to bite. Ignore her. 2
AMJ Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 Got another snapchat after ignoring the last. Telling me I was being a typical boy. I asked what she meant and she wouldn't tell me. Told her I can't be bothered with immature **** and she said she wasn't going to tell me now I'd insulted her lol. This girl is confusing, did she expect me not to ask what she meant? Why can't she just tell me! It's just like a child! Hitting you on the head until you give them attention. Or like my dog, begging for my attention. That's immaturity. I mean, if you really want her back, you can get her. But I don't think you do..she sounds rude.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted February 27, 2016 Author Posted February 27, 2016 Don't respond to these kind of messages. She is playing with you. And she got you to bite. Ignore her. It's kinda like saying to someone "I've got something to tell you"...and when you ask what they say "doesn't matter". Why bring it up in the first place?
Author Jimmyjackson Posted February 27, 2016 Author Posted February 27, 2016 It's just like a child! Hitting you on the head until you give them attention. Or like my dog, begging for my attention. That's immaturity. I mean, if you really want her back, you can get her. But I don't think you do..she sounds rude. Do you think? I suppose her reaching out and being bothered by something shows she cares. If she cut this bull**** out I'd be more eager to see what she thinks
PrettyEmily77 Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 Do you think? I suppose her reaching out and being bothered by something shows she cares. If she cut this bull**** out I'd be more eager to see what she thinks Ultimately, it doesn't matter much. If she isn't being straightforward and direct with you now, there's a (very real) chance she might be that hard work, and worse, in the long run. It's only a mindf*kc if you let it.
Jabron1 Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 I'd be interested to hear from a man who actually told all the women he dates, "I'm going to be sleeping with you AND these 4 others," and got really positive reactions.... Any man clumsy enough to overtly tell a woman that wouldn't have enough game to attract 5 women in the first place. It's called mystery, and it's one of the most powerful seduction tools that men and women have. You don't overtly say anything. A woman will know that you are high quality enough to have options. Women are much better at reading men than men are at reading women. Thinking that a woman isn't constantly cultivating, or at least evaluating, her options would be a very naive view. Just like I don't want her options rubbed in my face, women don't want a man to overtly rub his options in hers. When/if I'm asked, 'I'm dating until I find someone that I click with'. I don't lie to women about multi-dating. That's what a weak man does to placate others. A man playing a woman's game has to cheat. I play my game, on my terms. I do not compromise my frame. I don't give my loyalty away easily, but, once I do, I take it seriously. I've yet to cheat on a girlfriend. One of the most powerful things a man has is his freedom. As a wise man once said: When a bird tries to fly into a cage, wouldn't you think that something is wrong with that bird? 1
Author Jimmyjackson Posted February 27, 2016 Author Posted February 27, 2016 Ultimately, it doesn't matter much. If she isn't being straightforward and direct with you now, there's a (very real) chance she might be that hard work, and worse, in the long run. It's only a mindf*kc if you let it. I guess I was hoping if we got together all of this crap would stop. The constant pushing and pulling, maybe you're right I'll always feel in limbo regardless?
AMJ Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Any man clumsy enough to overtly tell a woman that wouldn't have enough game to attract 5 women in the first place. It's called mystery, and it's one of the most powerful seduction tools that men and women have. You don't overtly say anything. A woman will know that you are high quality enough to have options. Women are much better at reading men than men are at reading women. Thinking that a woman isn't constantly cultivating, or at least evaluating, her options would be a very naive view. Just like I don't want her options rubbed in my face, women don't want a man to overtly rub his options in hers. When/if I'm asked, 'I'm dating until I find someone that I click with'. I don't lie to women about multi-dating. That's what a weak man does to placate others. A man playing a woman's game has to cheat. I play my game, on my terms. I do not compromise my frame. I don't give my loyalty away easily, but, once I do, I take it seriously. I've yet to cheat on a girlfriend. One of the most powerful things a man has is his freedom. As a wise man once said: When a bird tries to fly into a cage, wouldn't you think that something is wrong with that bird? I laughed out loud when I read this quote in bold. Viewing a relationship as a cage, means that you don't want a relationship. I felt that way about relationships for many years, so I get it- I do. Would you say your intentions are to have fun and hook up with lots of women? Or play the field until you find someone special and get into a relationship? It's just that the rules of the game change, based on what your ultimate motive is. If you just want to have fun, then your idea about mystery will always work out for you. If you are looking for a relationship, which requires gaining a woman's trust, there is no amount of mystery in the dating process that a sane, well-adjusted, confident woman will enjoy. For women who want a serious relationship, mystery in dating is trouble. I get the sense that OP is looking for a relationship. So he really shouldn't be playing the game like a "man of mystery".
PrettyEmily77 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I guess I was hoping if we got together all of this crap would stop. The constant pushing and pulling, maybe you're right I'll always feel in limbo regardless? People don't really suddenly change when they get into a relationship - IMO, when they do it's usually for the worse so yeah, I do think you'd be kept in limbo forever more... 1
Author Jimmyjackson Posted February 28, 2016 Author Posted February 28, 2016 People don't really suddenly change when they get into a relationship - IMO, when they do it's usually for the worse so yeah, I do think you'd be kept in limbo forever more... We talked last night anyway. She said she doesn't want a relationship, yet told me she didn't just want sex either? I said it's one or other and she disagreed. She was planning dates and wanting me to come see her (she's a couple hours away) etc and now doesn't want me to come in case I think she wants something serious while shes at university. Suppose it's not really feasible with the distance but I said I'd like at least something rather than nothing, she said dating will only lead to something. When I began to withdraw as I knew where I stood she started chasing and saying she still wanted to talk to me, after I said I was being friend zoned she said this wasn't the case. I told her its selfish of her to want to speak to me but not want to take 'us' any further. I told her I feel good now knowing where I stand; which I do in a lot of ways although I'm slightly disappointed all her talk was for nothing essentially. Not spoken to her today and I'm going NC, I think I'll be fine in a week or two as long as she doesn't reach out. Which I worry she will for attention. 1
PrettyEmily77 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 We talked last night anyway. She said she doesn't want a relationship, yet told me she didn't just want sex either? I said it's one or other and she disagreed. She was planning dates and wanting me to come see her (she's a couple hours away) etc and now doesn't want me to come in case I think she wants something serious while shes at university. Suppose it's not really feasible with the distance but I said I'd like at least something rather than nothing, she said dating will only lead to something. When I began to withdraw as I knew where I stood she started chasing and saying she still wanted to talk to me, after I said I was being friend zoned she said this wasn't the case. I told her its selfish of her to want to speak to me but not want to take 'us' any further. I told her I feel good now knowing where I stand; which I do in a lot of ways although I'm slightly disappointed all her talk was for nothing essentially. Not spoken to her today and I'm going NC, I think I'll be fine in a week or two as long as she doesn't reach out. Which I worry she will for attention. Good for you. She may reach out for attention but at least now you're well prepared! Don't worry and let her be.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted February 28, 2016 Author Posted February 28, 2016 Good for you. She may reach out for attention but at least now you're well prepared! Don't worry and let her be. To be honest the more I think about it I can see why she thinks the way she does. She's two hours away and I work full time we would barely see each other. Probably the more sensible decision
Emilia Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 To be honest the more I think about it I can see why she thinks the way she does. She's two hours away and I work full time we would barely see each other. Probably the more sensible decision Yes. Give it a month, you'll hardly think of her. This will get easier with a little practice. You are not needy, just learning when to cut off the cr*p and not second guess.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted February 29, 2016 Author Posted February 29, 2016 Yes. Give it a month, you'll hardly think of her. This will get easier with a little practice. You are not needy, just learning when to cut off the cr*p and not second guess. Yeah you're right. Just feel a little used in regards to the sex but I guess I agreed to it too so can't really complain
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