ses Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 One of my male colleagues wants to treat me to dinner. I don't want to assume it's a date if he's just being friendly. We work in different areas of the office so sometimes he'll swing by my room to let me know when he leaves since I'm often the last person at work. He had been on vacation for a month and we were catching up on work-related matters when he brought up dinner. I've never been the type to go for drinks/dinner with colleagues (in a group setting, or 1:1). so I'm unsure of his intention and how to proceed. Our interactions at work are extremely limited and I don't have his email nor number. I called my partner immediately afterwards to discuss it, and he's okay with it. He just told me to be nice and to not lead my coworker on with my actions. Yes, if my partner had any reservations about it, I would've politely declined. My coworker is a developer so he seems to be the shy, introverted type. I'm interested in learning to code so I can see it being useful for me to pick his brain but I have no idea how common it is for coworkers to chill after work.
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 If I had a partner, I would have said "Great! WE'D love to! When do you want to meet up?" That would be the easiest and simplest way to determine motive. He might explain it was just between you two.... "Oh...I'm sorry, I apologise, I obviously misunderstood.... what's with dinner for just us two....?" and let him elaborate....
smackie9 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Just go for dinner and mention in the conversation in a joking manner "Hah my hubby has to fend for himself tonight, I'm sure he knows how to open a can lol." "Thank you for inviting me out, I have some questions about......." Just keep it all about work that's all you have to do.
road Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 The word PARTNER is vague. Hard to give advice when a poster is vague and leaves too much to be assumed. He asked you out on a date. What puzzles me is why you think it was not a date, and whatever kind of relationship that you are in your partner thinks it is ok for you to go out on a date, just because your co-worker did not use the word DATE.
Author ses Posted February 21, 2016 Author Posted February 21, 2016 Thanks! Yeah, I regret not being direct since I felt awkward and caught off-guard by the turn in the convo. If the topic comes up again I'll make sure to be clear. My partner was on break and came to work with me in December so several higher-ups, including my supervisor, met him but not this individual.
Maggie4 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 In all of my years of working, all of the men who suggested dinner had romantic interest as it later turned out. I would like to say coworkers of the opposite sex can have 1 to 1 dinner together and be purely platonic or professional. From my own records, that is not the case. Oh, all except one, but he was 40 years older than me, so that doesn't count. In every other case, the guy had other ideas, and it doesn't even matter if the guy is married or not!
TheBathWater Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 It's a date invitation. Absolutely. That doesn't mean he'll make a move (just yet), but at some point I am certain he would like to dip his pen into the company ink.
smackie9 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 You'd think with an office full of people that A)he would ask about your status to another coworker or B) ask you personally. Would he be that stupid not to confirm if you were single or not? I've had temp workers ask about me to someone they are working with.
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