Enweth Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 I met a guy in Jan 2015, we started going out apr2015 and officially got together in July. We had the most amazing time and felt like we were meant for each other. We talked about kids, which country to bring them up in. My boyfriend asked me to introduce my sister and friends to him and he proudly introduced me to all of his. He told me many times that he made the right choice being with me. We also went on 3 trips together. On new year's eve though, he went to a party and did not invite me as his friends all speak in a language which i'm not familiar with (we hail from 2 different countries) . i didn't feel so good then but let it slide. about a month ago, he went to thailand to visit his friends for a week. he didn't contact for 2 days and i nagged at him for not doing so. on and off for the past few weeks i felt he was a bit distant. He no longer runs to me and hug me tightly when he sees me. He no longer stares at me lovingly. I thought maybe our honeymoon period is over. 4 days ago, i asked him to attend an event with me over the weekend. He said he couldn't as he had something planned. I was feeling insecure and said something like he's spending too much time with his friends. After that i brought up on how i felt about the new year's eve party. I felt bad doing it because he was having alot of work stress that day. Unfortunately, the next day he broke up with me. He said he still likes me but he doesn't think he is in love with me and that he doesn't see the relationship progressing. I cried and he cried. i tried to hold onto to him but i couldn't. i begged for another chance but he firmly said that he doesn't believe it would work. I went into no contact immediately and have not spoken to him since. Today is day 4. I don't know if our relationship has fallen into a routine and he got bored? Frankly i was a little bored as well as we just going for dinner, movies and random shopping. but i was and still madly in love with him. this came to me all of a sudden and i'm having a hard time accepting it. We even celebrated valentine's day and all was perfect then. will no contact help to remind him of our good times? Do you guys think he'll come back?
ExpatInItaly Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 I'm sorry for your pain, OP. It must be an awful shock for you. I think the first sign of trouble was him wanting to spend New Year's Eve without you. My boyfriend and I also do not share the same mother tongue (I am Canadian, living in Italy. He is born and bred Italian) Even though I'm not perfectly fluent in Italian I am still included in activities with his friends. Your boyfriend used a sorry excuse to exclude you and I don't totally buy that it was all down to a language barrier. Who else attended this party? He probably started checking out a little while back, which your post seems to indicate. Perhaps he was bored, but did he ever take the initiative to plan something different for the two of you? It doesn't sound like it. Unfortunately it sounds like he enjoyed the thrill of the honeymoon phase and perhaps got a little carried away making grand future plans, but there wasn't enough there (on his end) to maintain something more committed after the honeymoon wore off. I don't know if he'll be back. But I would still maintain No Contact. Trying to keep in touch is going to be painful.
Author Enweth Posted February 21, 2016 Author Posted February 21, 2016 People who attended the party were basically his usual drinking friends. I don't drink at all thus I have not hung out with this particular group of friends whenever they go out drinking. This could also be a reason or at least that was what i thought back then. He did make plans to meet me the very next day though. He did tell me he has been wondering why the relationship wasn't progressing since a couple of weeks ago, my question on the new year's party kinda firmed his decision on the breakup. I picked him up at the airport about 3 weeks ago , he was so happy to see me and couldn't stop kissing and thanking me. i felt his love and i knew it wasn't fake. when he cried that night, i refuse to believe that he doesn't love me. I just can't believe he's gone just like that. I'm maintaining no contact but it's hard when everything i do , hear, see reminds me of him.
elaine567 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 I am guessing he is originally from Thailand? Is that true?
rickdiculous Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 I'm sorry your in pain. It seemed like he wanted a way out. You talking about how you are unhappy, was his way out. You guys started dating this summer. So it's been a 7ish month relationship. This is around the time most new relationship end. It's around the time the L word come's out. Sometimes you just feel it. Or you don't. Sounds, like he didn't feel it. This is very common. Would you want to be with a boyfriend that isn't sure he love's you? 1
stillafool Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Unfortunately, the next day he broke up with me. He said he still likes me but he doesn't think he is in love with me and that he doesn't see the relationship progressing. I'm sorry but a person doesn't tell you this unless they mean it. It is a very painful thing to tell someone you know is in love with you. Yes go NC but he won't come back, not to be a bf anyway but maybe for more sex until he finds someone else (or maybe already has someone else and doesn't need the sex). 1
mightycpa Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 If a guy is nice enough to tell you the truth, you should give him the courtesy and respect of believing him. It was not easy for him to tell you that, and the fact that he did proves that he respects you. Don't ruin that by being the desperate and crazy ex who can't let go. Force yourself to accept what he told you with grace and humility. Good luck. 1
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