TLC87 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Hey everyone, I have been dating this woman since December. We had met through work 3 years ago we became friends. She was in a 2 year relationship and it just ended a few months ago. We went out in December and a few times the last few weeks. She mentioned about a month ago that she was dating another guy as well and she didn't think it was gonna last. I playfully joked that well I'm single and she laughed. So we continued to date and things seemed to be going well. She backed out our last date last week because family. We then rescheduled and she told me today that the guy she mentioned before and her are now official and she wanted to let me know before our next date to see if that would affect anything. I was blindsided. "I told her I appreciate you letting me know...I don't know what to say, guess I should have gone for the kiss awhile back, I don't want to just hang out as friends, I'd like to date you so if things change and you are interested then get back to me at that time." She replied "sounds good. Thank you for your honesty! I'm sorry." I don't know what I should say back, if anything at all. The reason I didn't go for the kiss earlier is because I didn't want it to be awkward, she works part time where I work and I was being a pussy to be quite frank and didn't want to get rejected and it to be awkward. Also by the way the dates were progressing I felt like things were going good. I'm regretting not making a move. My question is what should I reply if anything at all, I know we had chemistry and lots of laughs and fun every time we got together but she was obviously dating the other guy too and I guess he's not so bad after all lol. Thanks
Mrin Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Nothing. There is nothing more to say that can change anything. She already knows you like her. She already knows that you reacted maturely. She already knows that you wished that you had moved things along quicker. Nothing you can say will do anything and I repeat anything that will improve your standing with her. Just let her be. And move on. 5
strawberryshortstack Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Hey everyone, I have been dating this woman since December. We had met through work 3 years ago we became friends. She was in a 2 year relationship and it just ended a few months ago. We went out in December and a few times the last few weeks. She mentioned about a month ago that she was dating another guy as well and she didn't think it was gonna last. I playfully joked that well I'm single and she laughed. So we continued to date and things seemed to be going well. She backed out our last date last week because family. We then rescheduled and she told me today that the guy she mentioned before and her are now official and she wanted to let me know before our next date to see if that would affect anything. I was blindsided. "I told her I appreciate you letting me know...I don't know what to say, guess I should have gone for the kiss awhile back, I don't want to just hang out as friends, I'd like to date you so if things change and you are interested then get back to me at that time." She replied "sounds good. Thank you for your honesty! I'm sorry." I don't know what I should say back, if anything at all. The reason I didn't go for the kiss earlier is because I didn't want it to be awkward, she works part time where I work and I was being a pussy to be quite frank and didn't want to get rejected and it to be awkward. Also by the way the dates were progressing I felt like things were going good. I'm regretting not making a move. My question is what should I reply if anything at all, I know we had chemistry and lots of laughs and fun every time we got together but she was obviously dating the other guy too and I guess he's not so bad after all lol. Thanks Just let it, and her, go. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Sorry to hear it, OP. As the others said, there's no need to reply to her. She's off the market now and that's that. 1
Erik30 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 I think she lied when she rescheduled that last date with you. She probably already knew she wanted to end it but didn't have the heart to tell you back then. But at least she was honest with you later on. It sucks but that's what happens when people multi date. While you were thinking everything was going great, she was going on dates with this other guy. (Who unfortunately for you, she seems to prefer) Your last message to her was fine. That's actually pretty much what you should say when someone doesn't want to date you anymore, but you're still open to it in the future. No need to send anything else. I know it might be tempting to contact her because you're wondering if you did anything wrong, but you probably didn't. She just picked the other guy, it's not about you. If she ever changes her mind, she knows how to reach you. (And then you can decide if you still want her) 2
Satu Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Just accept it and move on. No need to say anything more.
introverted1 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Just want to add that, although you say you were "dating" her since December, you also say you've never kissed her. That's not dating, imo, that's hanging out as friends. In essence, you friend-zoned yourself. Kiss the next one! 1
ASG Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Just want to add that, although you say you were "dating" her since December, you also say you've never kissed her. That's not dating, imo, that's hanging out as friends. In essence, you friend-zoned yourself. Kiss the next one! Yeah, I was gonna say... they went on several dayes and not one kiss? She must have thought they were just friends. Just the fact that she even asked if it would change anything, meaning she would happily carry on hanging out with OP as friends says it all, really. She never felt the interest on OPs side, at least not definitely, and went another route. There is nothing to say or do now. If she contacts you again, take it from there, but be more assertive. Leaving it several dates without a kiss makes us girls wonder if you're indeed interested or not
Author TLC87 Posted February 21, 2016 Author Posted February 21, 2016 Thanks for the advice, I feel like I and know that I should have made a move earlier but feared awkwardness and rejection especially with seeing her at work here and there! Early bird gets the worm!
loveflower Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Thanks for the advice, I feel like I and know that I should have made a move earlier but feared awkwardness and rejection especially with seeing her at work here and there! Early bird gets the worm! I don't think so! if that's the case that she is too nondiscriminatory and easy. people know what they like and want, a kiss is not going to change that. 1
smackie9 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 You admitted it would have been awkward to kiss her and the fact you only went out on three dates since December....that should tell you there wasn't any real chemistry. I doubt kissing her sooner would have made a difference. You know when you want to be serious with someone, kissing or not....sorry but I have doubt she was looking at you as a potential BF, more just as a friend.
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