LoveAiko Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Where does a 24 year old girl find friends? I have "friends" from school that I talk to on Facebook. Most of them are married or have children or both, so going clubbing or even out to lunch is next to impossible. I haven't had a genuine friend in over four years. But I'm not in school (atm, going back in the fall) and I'm looking for work, but even at the last few places I worked, I never made friends. People were either much older than me or between 18-20. I made a few friends, but none that I could connect with. How can I make friends so I don't go crazy from loneliness and boredom?
truth_seeker Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Got to put yourself out there. Join a coed sports league. Doesn't matter if you suck at the sport... do dodgeball, volleyball... you'll meet people around your age. Most of the people in these leagues hang out together after playing their games and some develop great friendships... it's all about be active and surrounding yourself with people who have common interests such as yourself. 2
deckard11 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 I guess it depends how bad you really want to find friends. I hear meetup groups are a good way. I would never try it as I am very content with not having any friends at all. 1
newmoon Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 a lot of friends will come as soon as you start working.. don't give up. employment puts you in contact with lots of people, so keep looking for a job and friends will follow. in the meantime, just go to events and activities you enjoy and TALK to people there
Author LoveAiko Posted February 21, 2016 Author Posted February 21, 2016 I just feel so awkward going to things by myself and attempting to talk to people who are already there with their friends. How do you even begin to do that?
amaysngrace Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 I just feel so awkward going to things by myself and attempting to talk to people who are already there with their friends. How do you even begin to do that? Look good and smile. 2
Author LoveAiko Posted February 21, 2016 Author Posted February 21, 2016 Hmm, well I like theater, film, music. Graphic design is also another hobby. I guess I could go to film festivals, but again, going to things like that alone? I can't just burst into other people's groups.
Aniela Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Hmm, well I like theater, film, music. Graphic design is also another hobby. I guess I could go to film festivals, but again, going to things like that alone? I can't just burst into other people's groups. People just start talking to me, in public. Talking about food, or books. Maybe take a class in something you're interested in, where you'll get to socialize with people who have similar hobbies. Try meet up groups, etc. 1
GreatCatch Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 (edited) First off, friends come and go. Friends you have today you may not have tomorrow. This is something that I never contemplated when I was your age. Having time for yourself is a very rare thing. I had way too many friends growing up and not enough time for me. Now, I have plenty of time for me. To find friends, you have to pinpoint all of your interests. That's where you are going to find your friends. Work is always a GREAT way to meet people. I forged friendships with many people who I worked with over the years. School is another great place to meet friends. Extracurricular activities is also a great way to meet friends. VOLUNTEERING - Another great way to meet friends is to start volunteering. This is a good option whether you are working and in school because you can pick and choose where you want to volunteer. Volunteering always opens the door to strong friendships, so if all else fails pick some really great places to volunteer to start meeting new people!!! I wanted to add a few additional thoughts to my reply..... for everyone who is reading this. The #1 friend you have is yourself. You have to be a good friend to yourself to be a good friend to others, so always make yourself your top priority. Wipe any negative thoughts out of your mind and think positive because you'll be surrounded by friends soon enough. You really need to try your hardest to find those who have time to devote to a friendship. People in relationships (married or not) usually do not have enough time to devote to new friends. As such, you really need to spend time with those who seem to have the time. If you don't meet any of these people in any of your classes at school when you go back, join as many clubs and get involved with events, etc. Also, if you find that perfect friend who seems to have too much time to devote to a friendship don't be afraid to stretch your wings. Best advice is never to put all of your eggs in one basket because if that friendship fails for one reason or another you will be back at the drawing boarding searching for new friends. Yes, it is good to spend time working on friendships, but not a good idea to put too much into only one friendship. I speak from experience. Friendships fail just like relationships do and friends really don't grow on trees, so your goal to meet new friends should never stop even when you finally meet a new friend because you don't have any control over what will happen in any friendship. Your new friend could get married, get involved, have children, move to another state -- so many things can happen, so always keep this in mind once you do start adding names to your list. Although there is a chance you may know your friends for a long time, most of them you will not know forever. Sorry, but it's true. I only wish someone had told me that years ago. I wouldn't have waste so much time on people who weren't going to be there in the long run anyway. Okay, feel free to reply and I'll check back for some more thought. I hope that helps. Remember life works in cycles. This is a cycle you are in right now. It will change over time. Patience is definitely a virtue. Edited February 21, 2016 by GreatCatch 1
circlesinfinity Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Where does a 24 year old girl find friends? I have "friends" from school that I talk to on Facebook. Most of them are married or have children or both, so going clubbing or even out to lunch is next to impossible. I haven't had a genuine friend in over four years. But I'm not in school (atm, going back in the fall) and I'm looking for work, but even at the last few places I worked, I never made friends. People were either much older than me or between 18-20. I made a few friends, but none that I could connect with. How can I make friends so I don't go crazy from loneliness and boredom? I feel your pain. I am in my late 20s and don't have any friends. I lost contact with a lot of people on purpose. I keep hearing people say use meetup and take it from there.
rickdiculous Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 I found people that do things together stay friends. Of course right? Friends have to have a weekly activity to keep the relationship alive. I found 1) Volunteering a great place to meet people. 2) School is great. Taking a weekly, art class, cooking class. 3) Sports are great too. I give you this advice, but I haven't done it myself. Just getting outside can be hard when you have no friends. I'v spend most of my life wondering how some people can have so many friends. Making friends is something I haven't mastered. I personally think it comes from my deep rotted fear of reject. (I want friends, but I been hurt too much to let them in or try. I don't even try anymore. Even when I have a friendship I stop investing when I feel like they are rejecting me.
ChickiePops Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Hmm, well I like theater, film, music. Graphic design is also another hobby. I guess I could go to film festivals, but again, going to things like that alone? I can't just burst into other people's groups. A few years ago I was feeling lonely and I took myself out for dinner. I was sitting alone at a sushi bar when the guy next to me ordered something delicious looking. I asked him what it was (not in a flirtatious way as he was wearing a wedding ring, but I was genuinely curious!), we started talking about our favorite dishes, then he invited me to go play darts and pool with his group of friends at the bar next door. Now it's a regular Tuesday night thing that we do! I even ended up dating one of them (it didn't work out but we are on friendly terms and it hasn't affected my hanging with the group). My point is..don't be afraid to be alone, and don't be afraid to be chatty, because you never know what might happen! 2
Chris2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 (edited) Hmm, well I like theater, film, music. Graphic design is also another hobby. I guess I could go to film festivals, but again, going to things like that alone? I can't just burst into other people's groups. I would also suggest meetup.com Search for things you'd be interested in; meetups for your age group; things for ladies only; ... I came across this [book] recently: Guide to Socializing and meeting Friends at Meetup [] Pretty good write up IMO. I gives you an idea on what to expect. What I got out of that was, don't be so hard on yourself. I went to mixers, singles events, I hated them. Wasn't for me. But other events, like bowling or food crawl (like bar hopping), I had a good time. So far I haven't made any friends, but I've met new people, made acquaintances, and had a good time. I hope I can make friends. I have long time friends, but they are married with family. Outside of them I don't really have any friends. I connect with them maybe once in months. So it can get lonely. Edited February 21, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Removed commercial link
newmoon Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Hmm, well I like theater, film, music. Graphic design is also another hobby. I guess I could go to film festivals, but again, going to things like that alone? I can't just burst into other people's groups. it's generally easier to talk to someone who is also alone. if you can single out someone who is also just hanging out it is easier to just approach and start with hi. it's so easy and simple, really. start off with a question/comment about where you are and if they are receptive, you keep going. you can also easily get into conversation with staffers who are at the events, they are generally always very friendly and you never know... could be a friend as well.
Lady2163 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 I'm not much of a friend maker, either. I was the youngest child and the only girl and was raised to entertain myself. My parents never thought to spend time in the evenings catering to my every desire and whim. As a kid with no money and no one my age in the neighborhood (fluke thing, they were all way older or way younger) I read a lot and watched TV. I have several activities like that that are pretty much things you can do alone. Or they are female centric and I'd like to find a man! I'm also in a small town, but getting ready to move to a bigger city in six months. Three activities I'd like to try - kayaking, skydiving and Renaissance faires. Whatever activities you like, there is probably a group or club. They are always looking for volunteers or people to help with details. Yes, I know it may suck to spend your free time "working" but it is a way to network and meet people. I've also reached the age where I do start conversations with someone if I'm attracted or interested in them.
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