Ex gf pregnant..?

[Miko Yan]

Long story short (I hope); relationship of 10 months ended, she broke up with me 7 months ago (on my birthday, via text), I still had feelings for her (how stupid) and couldn't keep up with NC even though she lived in another state, we hooked up days after christmas when she was in town, we were about to hook up again a day before she left (jan-6) but I couldn't because guess what, I wanted more.. she ended up leaving and hooking up with another dude (her now bf) that same day. I was so disappointed but finally realized she was a sl*t so I kinda moved on quickly from that.

 

I hadn't blocked her on whatsapp so she sent a happy valentines day text last sunday, to which i coldly replied, "yeah you too", then she told me she was pregnant and showed me an ecography of the 7 week old embryo with her name on it. That day she claimed it was mine but I told her I'd need to get a paternity test and if she didnt want to keep it id pay for her medical procedures. She then said she'd look for me the next day and i I said it was fine. But she stopped communicating so i texted her yesterday telling her to tell me what was going to happen or I'd tell her parents about it.

 

Then she said she "did the math" and it wasn't mine and that her bf (which she calls "that man" because according to her, they arent a formal couple) would be there for her, told me not to cause trouble with her parents and for me to not to worry pretend she didn't say anything at all.

 

Right now I'm so pissed off and confused.. what are your thoughts about this?? I don't want a kid right now, much less with someone as vile as her.

 

I can't help but feel so offended and disgusted, could she be lying about being pregnant? what should i do ??

Edited February 20, 2016 by Miko Yan

[266696687]

Long story short (I hope); relationship of 10 months ended, she broke up with me 7 months ago (on my birthday, via text), I still had feelings for her (how stupid) and couldn't keep up with NC even though she lived in another state, we hooked up days after christmas when she was in town, we were about to hook up again a day before she left (jan-6) but I couldn't because guess what, I wanted more.. she ended up leaving and hooking up with another dude (her now bf) that same day. I was so disappointed but finally realized she was a sl*t so I kinda moved on quickly from that.

 

I hadn't blocked her on whatsapp so she sent a happy valentines day text last sunday, to which i coldly replied, "yeah you too", then she told me she was pregnant and showed me an ecography of the 7 week old embryo with her name on it. That day she claimed it was mine but I told her I'd need to get a paternity test and if she didnt want to keep it id pay for her medical procedures. She then said she'd look for me the next day and i I said it was fine. But she stopped communicating so i texted her yesterday telling her to tell me what was going to happen or I'd tell her parents about it.

 

Then she said she "did the math" and it wasn't mine and that her bf (which she calls "that man" because according to her, they arent a formal couple) would be there for her, told me not to cause trouble with her parents and for me to not to worry pretend she didn't say anything at all.

 

Right now I'm so pissed off and confused.. what are your thoughts about this?? I don't want a kid right now, much less with someone as vile as her.

 

I can't help but feel so offended and disgusted, could she be lying about being pregnant? what should i do ??

 

Erm..sounds like she is pregnant and probably with your child. She's told you you are the father therefore you need to find out for sure whether you are or not.

 

You cannot ignore this situation and let another man possibly raise your child. He may not know she told you you were the father. She might have done the same thing to him.

 

It's your responsibility to find out the truth here. Make sure you get a paternity test. You both slept with her within a few days so she actually wouldn't be able to do the math to an exact science (it's impossible) so you need to make sure you take steps to get a paternity test.

 

You seem to be looking for an easy way out but I'm afraid when there is a child involved there isn't one. Do the right thing and find out for sure.

[Miko Yan]

I am not looking for "any" way out. She was the one that blew me off (like she always did) and refused to talk in person or even on the phone so the only thing i got was that brief text telling me to nevermind it all, just like when she dumped me all those months ago.

 

I don't love her anymore and I don't want to have anything to do with her, she knows I don't want children and she refuses to talk like grown up so..

 

Shes also lied to me about a lot of things just to get my attention in the past, so thats why I'm so skeptical with this since she knows pregnancy is the only way I'd answer back to anything she uttered.

 

She even told me on the 14th that she didn't feel happy with her relationship, which hasn't even reached the 2 month old mark.. says a lot about her maturity really

[ExpatInItaly]

I am not looking for "any" way out. She was the one that blew me off (like she always did) and refused to talk in person or even on the phone so the only thing i got was that brief text telling me to nevermind it all, just like when she dumped me all those months ago.

 

I don't love her anymore and I don't want to have anything to do with her, she knows I don't want children and she refuses to talk like grown up so..

 

Shes also lied to me about a lot of things just to get my attention in the past, so thats why I'm so skeptical with this since she knows pregnancy is the only way I'd answer back to anything she uttered.

 

She even told me on the 14th that she didn't feel happy with her relationship, which hasn't even reached the 2 month old mark.. says a lot about her maturity really

 

OP, I don't blame you for being distressed.

 

Tell her you would like a paternity test in any case. She can't really backtrack by claiming she's "done the math" and now is sure you're not the father. Make it clear you will pursue that avenue legally, if need be (ie you will investigate your right as the father) She can't very well expect you to just drop it altogether after learning you might have fathered a baby. It doesn't work that way.

 

That should tell you pretty quickly if she is being honest about this. If she is, you have pretty serious thinking to do.

[266696687]

I am not looking for "any" way out. She was the one that blew me off (like she always did) and refused to talk in person or even on the phone so the only thing i got was that brief text telling me to nevermind it all, just like when she dumped me all those months ago.

 

I don't love her anymore and I don't want to have anything to do with her, she knows I don't want children and she refuses to talk like grown up so..

 

Shes also lied to me about a lot of things just to get my attention in the past, so thats why I'm so skeptical with this since she knows pregnancy is the only way I'd answer back to anything she uttered.

 

She even told me on the 14th that she didn't feel happy with her relationship, which hasn't even reached the 2 month old mark.. says a lot about her maturity really

 

I meant easy way out by accepting her later message that she did the math and its not yours. If you accept it that is taking the easy way out.

 

It's your responsibility to find out whether that baby is yours.

 

You may not want kids but she is already pregnant and by the sounds of it planning on keeping the baby so whether you want kids or not it might well be to late for you to make that decision.

 

You need a paternity test. As Expat said above you need to pursue your legal options if she doesn't comply.

[Mrin]

I don't get the sense that the OP is particularly interested in being a part of the baby's life if he is indeed the father.