ScienceGal Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 I've seen this guy on and off at the gym for the past couple years. We do some of the same group exercise classes together. I hadn't seen him in months, but then saw him today. I was changing my shoes, and he said hi to me. I smiled and said "hey, how's it been going"?. At the end of class, he said goodbye to me (he actually gave me a fist bump and said "see ya later", which made me smile). So, he's cute and I'm intrigued. Since I know his first name from being in class (I'm not sure if he knows mine), I decided to look him up on Facebook. I found him easily, but now what? Should I send a friend request or not? Wondering if I should just wait, and hope to see him again at the gym and do more face-to-face talking first. Thoughts? Merci beaucoup!
truth_seeker Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 More face-to-face talk. You don't know him. If there's a coffee place, bar near the gym, suggest you go there after your class.
smackie9 Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 I wouldn't see a fist bump and a see ya later as interest. 1
Author ScienceGal Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 I wouldn't see a fist bump and a see ya later as interest. Not definite interest. But, maybe. He didn't talk to anyone else in the class. We've chatted in the past about running and I've seen him at races, but I had a boyfriend at the time. When I'm with someone, I don't look at other men the same way. Now, I've been single for almost 6 months, so when I saw him I thought "oh, hey there". ;-) I'm not going to send the friend request, but I would like to put out the "I'm interested" vibes when I see him again. I don't think I dare to ask him out right away. I'm terrible at this.
MidwestUSA Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Funny, but just today, one of my 'memories' came up on Facebook. It was the day I friended this dude. 9:23 pm, to be exact. We'll be married three years in May. If you've got nothing to lose, go for it. 6
thecrucible Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 You could add him and send a casual message like: "Hey! It's ScienceGal from the gym. You just came up on my 'people you may know' list so I thought I'd add you." 2
Author ScienceGal Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 Funny, but just today, one of my 'memories' came up on Facebook. It was the day I friended this dude. 9:23 pm, to be exact. We'll be married three years in May. If you've got nothing to lose, go for it. That's great :-) Was this a random person, or someone you had met? Were there mutual friends? I guess I'm worried he will think I am a creeper. If someone who recognized me from the gym friended me, I wouldn't find it strange though, so I'm not sure what my problem is. In fact, someone from the gym friended me last week, but it's a woman and we have many mutual friends.
Author ScienceGal Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 You could add him and send a casual message like: "Hey! It's ScienceGal from the gym. You just came up on my 'people you may know' list so I thought I'd add you." Oooh, you are good!
truth_seeker Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Not definite interest. But, maybe. He didn't talk to anyone else in the class. We've chatted in the past about running and I've seen him at races, but I had a boyfriend at the time. When I'm with someone, I don't look at other men the same way. Now, I've been single for almost 6 months, so when I saw him I thought "oh, hey there". ;-) I'm not going to send the friend request, but I would like to put out the "I'm interested" vibes when I see him again. I don't think I dare to ask him out right away. I'm terrible at this. There's always a chance there's interest. If you feel he has interest, go with your gut. You women are good with hints and getting the guy to take the lead... mention a bar or cafe that is near the gym and ask him if it's any good. If he's into you, and understands what you're doing, he'll suggest the two of you go there. 1
MidwestUSA Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 That's great :-) Was this a random person, or someone you had met? Were there mutual friends? Many, many mutual friends. I graduated with his brother, but didn't connect the name. We all grew up about a mile from each other. I was out of high school before he got there, so we'd never met. Cradle robber girl, LOL!
truth_seeker Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 You could add him and send a casual message like: "Hey! It's ScienceGal from the gym. You just came up on my 'people you may know' list so I thought I'd add you." Hmmm... I like it but I'm not sold on it. I've noticed people from my gym come up on my PYMK list and added them, only because I knew them for quite awhile. I've noticed a couple of women from my gym come up on my list recently and since I've never spoken to them, I assume they were checking my profile out, but am not going to add them.
Author ScienceGal Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 Well, hell. I went from not daring to do it, to just going for it. Midwest is right, I have nothing to lose. I sent pretty much what thecrucible recommended. The worst he can do is not accept it. At least then I'll know he's not interested. 3
truth_seeker Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Well, hell. I went from not daring to do it, to just going for it. Midwest is right, I have nothing to lose. I sent pretty much what thecrucible recommended. The worst he can do is not accept it. At least then I'll know he's not interested. Wow! Good for you. I only said I wouldn't do it because I'm a guy and girls tend to find that sort of thing creepy... but if a girl contacted me, I'd be happy. I hope it works out for you. 3
HansonGirl Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 I've seen this guy on and off at the gym for the past couple years. We do some of the same group exercise classes together. I hadn't seen him in months, but then saw him today. I was changing my shoes, and he said hi to me. I smiled and said "hey, how's it been going"?. At the end of class, he said goodbye to me (he actually gave me a fist bump and said "see ya later", which made me smile). So, he's cute and I'm intrigued. Since I know his first name from being in class (I'm not sure if he knows mine), I decided to look him up on Facebook. I found him easily, but now what? Should I send a friend request or not? Wondering if I should just wait, and hope to see him again at the gym and do more face-to-face talking first. Thoughts? Merci beaucoup! In my past, I would have done it, but I hate facebook and deactivated my account and vowed never to go back on it, so nowadays my answer would be no - don't do it. get to know each other the old fashioned way. adding him on facebook will not accomplish anything but giving you access to knowing more details about him.
truth_seeker Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Well, hell. I went from not daring to do it, to just going for it. Midwest is right, I have nothing to lose. I sent pretty much what thecrucible recommended. The worst he can do is not accept it. At least then I'll know he's not interested. Now you women got me thinking... should I do the same for the women coming up on my 'people you may know list'? 2
HansonGirl Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Funny, but just today, one of my 'memories' came up on Facebook. It was the day I friended this dude. 9:23 pm, to be exact. We'll be married three years in May. If you've got nothing to lose, go for it. I'd love to hear this backstory... :-) 1
MidwestUSA Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 In my past, I would have done it, but I hate facebook and deactivated my account and vowed never to go back on it, so nowadays my answer would be no - don't do it. get to know each other the old fashioned way. adding him on facebook will not accomplish anything but giving you access to knowing more details about him. Too late! I'm a horrible influence. 4
truth_seeker Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Too late! I'm a horrible influence. I think women can get away with the FB friend request more over than a guy friend requesting a woman.
MidwestUSA Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 I think women can get away with the FB friend request more over than a guy friend requesting a woman. I agree completely.
HansonGirl Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Too late! I'm a horrible influence. what do you mean? are you not going to give your backstory? i'm never too jaded to hear a story about how two people fell in love. maybe it'll change my mind about social media 2
loveflower Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 I think women can get away with the FB friend request more over than a guy friend requesting a woman. why is that?
truth_seeker Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 why is that? Just poll a bunch of women and most will say they would be creeped out if a guy they really didn't know, maybe seen them before at the gym, work, wherever, would creep them out.
HansonGirl Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 You can let this influence your decision or not, but all I know is that book, "not your mother's rules.." the updated version of "the rules" would say NOT to do it. they basically say never initiate contact some of those "rules" are ridiculous but i just wanted to share the piece of advice i read in that book. do with it what you will!
MidwestUSA Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 what do you mean? are you not going to give your backstory? i'm never too jaded to hear a story about how two people fell in love. maybe it'll change my mind about social media I've told it a lot, but okay, for you. I noticed this guy and I ended up commenting on a lot of the same posts, mostly music related. I didn't know him, or recognize his last name as anyone I knew (pretty common last name). But we shared a lot of common friends. So, after a particularly intense discussion about Rodger Hodgson (Supertramp), and his underratedness, for one particular song (the name of which escapes me now, but I have it on vinyl, I'm not dating myself, am I?), I friended him. We Facebook chatted for a bit over two months, met face to face in May, but at an event where we didn't really connect due to the number of people there. We spent a month talking on the phone (about 120 hours, I printed out the itemized phone bill, and it's in our scrapbook) before going on a date on June 2. He dropped the ILY on June 28th, moved in with me on July 25th, proposed on Valentine's Day, married on Cinco de Mayo 2013. Short version, and no, I was not pregnant! 5
HansonGirl Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 I've told it a lot, but okay, for you. I noticed this guy and I ended up commenting on a lot of the same posts, mostly music related. I didn't know him, or recognize his last name as anyone I knew (pretty common last name). But we shared a lot of common friends. So, after a particularly intense discussion about Rodger Hodgson (Supertramp), and his underratedness, for one particular song (the name of which escapes me now, but I have it on vinyl, I'm not dating myself, am I?), I friended him. We Facebook chatted for a bit over two months, met face to face in May, but at an event where we didn't really connect due to the number of people there. We spent a month talking on the phone (about 120 hours, I printed out the itemized phone bill, and it's in our scrapbook) before going on a date on June 2. He dropped the ILY on June 28th, moved in with me on July 25th, proposed on Valentine's Day, married on Cinco de Mayo 2013. Short version, and no, I was not pregnant! wow!!! that's awesome. thanks for sharing! 1
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