Worknonme Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 (edited) Hey, I'm a 25 year old male, haven't been through too many relationships in my past time. Up until last year or so I have been a womanizer pretty much..I don't want to offend anyone , it's just certain things about my childhood that came out in me as I matured. Nonetheless.. I met a girl last year at the height of my working career in a new city and also, at the downfall.. we were both making a lot of money when we met at my job at the time, but instead of lavish dates or spending unnecessary money, we formed a bond on strong conversation and similar interests , basically we wanted the same things out of life. She had gotten out of an abusive relationship months before and didn't expect to fall for someone else so soon, considering she wasn't looking for anyone. I myself, had a sexual situation with another coworker that had gone sour at the time and I was still licking my wounds from that so to speak. Either way, we fell into this space together, a month later I lost my job. A month after I lost my apartment. In this time she stayed with me every single day.. I wasn't as in to her as she was to me as I could tell but I made sure to focus on all of the little things to ensure I would catch up to her emotionally. We would cook together, read books together, take walks together , do arts n crafts together , motivate each other. She is a very attractive girl and I am a confident guy, meaning I'm sure we had our share of suitors in the past but the things we did together I have never done with another girl before. Well as months go by, she begged me to move in her apartment, I was struggling to keep minimal jobs and insecurities began to set in.. we were arguing so much to where I grew a resentment for her.. partially out of embarrassment for my struggle. but she continued to love me. Our arguments were very bad guys..we would say terrible things to eachother. I don't want to elaborate. Eventually I got fed up, and I moved back home two hours away. We agreed that we would continue to work on us I just needed to get my affairs in order.. when home I honestly slept with a cpl women. It meant nothing, but I think that was my defense mechanism kicking in.. she never knew. She would continue to call but I was becoming distant.. we got in an argument over the phone, we said we hated each other and broke up for a week around Christmas. Reconciled in January only for her to tell me over the next cpl weeks I really hurt her in the past and with me not there she has had time for those problems to become big enough for her to feel like she needed space. I understood but I didn't want to let her go because I knew those problems stemmed from my inconsistencies and my pride at the time . I tried frantically for a month to get her back , roses , cards, letters, I spoke with her father and honestly told him my wrongs and he is such a great guy, he represents everything I want to be in the future. A stable , family man who gave his life for his daughters, even though him and his wife no longer sleep in the same bed. However,he forgave me but I don't think that feeling moved me as much as I had hoped. Well last week after trying so hard she shut me down , told me she doesn't want to b with a guy with such a dark side and she is going to focus on moving on and I should let her. So I did. It's been a cpl weeks, I've checked into therapy, focusing on bettering myself.. however I still wish in the back of my mind, one day she just wakes up and remembers our good times , I'm not confident in this though.. I just miss my girl man.. I wanna be right for her..what do u guys think ? Edited February 21, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited for paragraphs. ~ V
Brando Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Ya man. We all miss our Exs after a while. Sounds like your doing all the right things. So, continue to do you and you'll be fine. You 2 argued a lot. Usually a compatibility thing. You miss the good times. On to the next one. Next one is always better too.
mmmike Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Ya man. We all miss our Exs after a while. Sounds like your doing all the right things. So, continue to do you and you'll be fine. You 2 argued a lot. Usually a compatibility thing. You miss the good times. On to the next one. Next one is always better too. Yeah break ups really suck. All you can do is move on from the pain and work on yoursefl to become a better man. That's what I did this year. Dealt with a lot of break up pain (and my Ex and I broke up a year ago). I still hurt sometimes but sometimes I'm just fine. I did make major improvements in my life though. My ex wouldn't recognize my mindset these days. Feel better and good luck on getting through the break up.
Brando Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Yeah break ups really suck. All you can do is move on from the pain and work on yoursefl to become a better man. That's what I did this year. Dealt with a lot of break up pain (and my Ex and I broke up a year ago). I still hurt sometimes but sometimes I'm just fine. I did make major improvements in my life though. My ex wouldn't recognize my mindset these days. Feel better and good luck on getting through the break up. Ya man. Thing is once a girl checks out its over lol. So, all you can do is do your thing and go NC. I just hate the dating game. Never had a problem meeting women, but I seriously don't enjoy it. You're right though...a break up creates some crazy pain no matter how strong you consider yourself...it sucks haha. So, I take it out in the gym, the job, and whatever else. Makes you tough.
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