Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 I just got home from having an amazing dinner at the guy's place. He didn't try anything with me in fact he kept some physical distance from me to make me comfortable. He made me a steak dinner and afterwards we just laughed, conversed and watched Daredevil on Netflix. No he didn't try to hug me try to get me into his bedroom we just had a really good time. I'm really beginning to like him more and more and I think he feels the same way because he made mention of me visiting him. So at this point my guard has dropped to almost zero meaning Im very open to wanting a relationship, in particular with him. Does he feel at the same level as me though? How do I proceed so that he openly asks me to be his girlfriend as opposed to just dating? 2
Shanex Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Was it a first date at his place? I've rarely done that. Usually I'd go for a first date out. I'm also 'that guy' who just because he has his date over here doesn't mean it's an obligation to go to the bedroom. You should maybe show interest. I've had a third date at my place and the lady kissed me out of the blue, it stays at that that evening but it was still pretty cool.
fitnessfan365 Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Clarify - Was this a guy you already knew IRL that you finally had a date with? Or was this some random stranger from OLD? If there was already a real life comfort level, that's one thing. But if it was an OLD first date at a stranger's place, that's risky. Also, how do you jump from a first date to all of a sudden wanting a relationship? Why not take your time a bit and see where it leads?
MidwestUSA Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 This was a second date, correct? You took the chance, and it went well. But it's too soon to be thinking exclusivity. Think of an outing you'd like to do, and plan a third date. AŚK HIM OUT (not to your place). You'll gauge his interest level as time goes on. Absolutely no talk of a relationship, but you might want to try and find out his stance on multi dating. Good luck! 1
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 Clarify - Was this a guy you already knew IRL that you finally had a date with? Or was this some random stranger from OLD? If there was already a real life comfort level, that's one thing. But if it was an OLD first date at a stranger's place, that's risky. Also, how do you jump from a first date to all of a sudden wanting a relationship? Why not take your time a bit and see where it leads? It was a second date and I suppose my excitenment about the prospects kind of boiled over. I know I have to be reasonable and let this go at its own pace. I just haven't dated in a long time and haven't met anyone I actually felt attracted or have great conversations and laughd with.
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 So at this point my guard has dropped to almost zero meaning Im very open to wanting a relationship, in particular with him. Does he feel at the same level as me though? How do I proceed so that he openly asks me to be his girlfriend as opposed to just dating? I'm glad your date went well! This "girlfriend" stuff, though, just stop! It's TWO dates! Just settle down and see how things go. If he wants to have a relationship, he will make sure you know it. That will include not being "too busy" to call or text you for days. What I think you really will need to focus on is managing your anxiety now - because I'm afraid you are going to be obsessing about him. Just go out with your friends and do stuff and don't let this guy you like be the center of your life please! 1
fitnessfan365 Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 I'm still curious though. Is this a guy you met online, or that you already knew IRL that you finally started dating?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 I'm still curious though. Is this a guy you met online, or that you already knew IRL that you finally started dating? Yes this is a guy I met online on a dating app and I have been talking to him since late October and early November 2015.
joseb Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Wow. So he asked you over for dinner. AND you two watched NETFLIX... And still there was no sex?? This thread breaks all the rules! 3
fitnessfan365 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 Yes this is a guy I met online on a dating app and I have been talking to him since late October and early November 2015. Wow..So it took you THREE MONTHS to finally start the dating process. Why did you wait so long to meet? Just curious if it's a longer distance sort of thing. But I agree. An online date in private watching Netflix and no sex is definitely out of the norm!
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 21, 2016 Author Posted February 21, 2016 Wow..So it took you THREE MONTHS to finally start the dating process. Why did you wait so long to meet? Just curious if it's a longer distance sort of thing. But I agree. An online date in private watching Netflix and no sex is definitely out of the norm! No we're not long distance. He lives about 15-20 minutes from me by car. We put off meeting up because I was busy at the time and going through finals and we were more comfortable texting. I was also putting things off with him because I was still lingering on a past relationship (although the break up had been a year ago) so I had a guard up about meeting another guy. He was really understanding about me being busy and then there were a few occassions when we had set up to meet but my family obligations got in the way. Then there was that big snow storm that hit us on here om the East Coast and eweboth got caught up in our things. At this point we were both communicating and texring daily, but he also started tax season audits at his cmpany and had a trip to Ohio, but we finally met up for a short date around my area. So here we are with last Friday's dinner date at his place. No he didn't try anything with me. He showed me his new apartment and I watched him make dinner for me, which by the way was delicious. We didn't hug until he drove me home and I wished him a last happy birthday. I can respect a guy who can respect my space and that's why I hope this can progress to something more. He told me I can bother him whenever I want and he is more responsive to me at work when he has the time to respond. So it seems like he must somewhat feel the same about me. I'm not a mindreader and I feel a little out of the loop of how a guy acts when they like a girl. But currently, I know I find myself very attracted to him and I am very sure he is aware of my feelings. I dont want to come on too strong because I don't want to scare him away.
Qboro90 Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 Don't push for the title. You've been out with this guy a total of what? 2 times? Haven't even had sex yet or done anything physical from what I gather. Not that I'm saying jump into bed with him either. But it sounds like you had a tough breakup in the past so take this opportunity to learn more about the person your attracted to and enjoy the initial getting to know each other phase of dating instead of focusing on "how do I get him to ask me to be his gf?" No sane guy is going to make it official after 2 dates. It's going to take a few more dates, weeks even before he's comfortable. Since you know this is his busy season then I suggest you don't over analyze his texts or schedule to hang out. People in his professional literally dissapear during tax season so just be patient and cut him a little slack for the next few weeks and everything will work out.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 Don't push for the title. You've been out with this guy a total of what? 2 times? Haven't even had sex yet or done anything physical from what I gather. Not that I'm saying jump into bed with him either. But it sounds like you had a tough breakup in the past so take this opportunity to learn more about the person your attracted to and enjoy the initial getting to know each other phase of dating instead of focusing on "how do I get him to ask me to be his gf?" No sane guy is going to make it official after 2 dates. It's going to take a few more dates, weeks even before he's comfortable. Since you know this is his busy season then I suggest you don't over analyze his texts or schedule to hang out. People in his professional literally dissapear during tax season so just be patient and cut him a little slack for the next few weeks and everything will work out. Im not pushing for the title, but I feel like I'm already acting like a girlfriend. I know I need to take a breather and take a step back because I know the kind of person that I am, I can get easily attached. He has been really responsive with me so far. I actually spent the past Monday night at his place, and we Netflix-ed again. I know it was a work night, but we were both really happy to see each other. And no, we did not have sex, we merely cuddled and watched Daredevil again. I think my issue is that I have no idea where this is going to lead. He did tell me we're not official yet, but that we're dating. So it seems like he isn't seeing anyone else. He is currently down in Louisiana on his trip. He texts me when he has time. I feel incredibly comfortable with him and he with me.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted February 28, 2016 Author Posted February 28, 2016 I don't know whether I should just be flabberghasted or upset or whatever... But the guy and I made plans that he was gonna come pick me up after he gets back from his trip from Louisiana. We communicated prior to him getting on the plane and its now been more than 4 hours and I haven't heard from him. I texted him and there was no response. This is really the first time this happened to me.
ThisisIt606 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Did his flight get canceled or delayed/ he never made it back? If it got canceled he def should have texted but some people don't know how or just don't use wifi on the plane if his flight got delayed. How many times before have you seen this guy? Does he seem flakey? 2
EatYourVeggies Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I travel quite a bit and it's not uncommon to been stuck circling an airport for hours before landing. Travel time (hours) + circling destination airport (hours) = 4, 6, 8 or more hours before I had access to a phone.
kendahke Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 He may have had complications with his flight--give him til tomorrow afternoon to contact you. That's more than enough time for him to call/text you with what happened. If he doesn't by then, cut him loose and put him on block.
Shanex Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I don't mean to be rude but what's up with all these "he hasn't replied in x hours''.threads? Patience, folks, patience. 5
EatYourVeggies Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I don't mean to be rude but what's up with all these "he hasn't replied in x hours''.threads? LOL! It is rather amusing. Back in my day (which wasn't that long ago), I would call GF and if she wasn't home I would leave a message. When she returned home, got my message and then returned my call. If I wasn't there, leave me a message. Repeat. Sometimes we went days without talking and we never thought anything of it or that something was wrong. In my dad's day, he was a naval aviator and would be gone on 6 months deployments. Sometimes would go several months before my mom would hear from him (by letter). I know that sounds totally foreign and all kiddies out there wonder how in hell we could possible do that and can't imagine that our relationships worked / survived / lasted. Good times... 4
SwordofFlame Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 How do you know his flight wasn't delayed? Delays are fairly common...
Shanex Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Oh I know, the world is moving super fast due to the technology. Imagine the letters our ancestors used to send, about a century or so ago. I guess that's progress. A line or two and a 'heart' emoticons suffice to please someone nowadays. But to the point, it's only been four hours. He'll get back in touch most likely, airports arent always fun or convenient.
6Pack Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I don't mean to be rude but what's up with all these "he hasn't replied in x hours''.threads? Patience, folks, patience. Pavlov Dog Phenomenon. It has been proven, that people exhibit similar brain-stimuli response to text messages, etc. Plus, people get anxiety in today's fast-pace communication world. People are used to instant communication gratification, etc.
EatYourVeggies Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 (edited) Pavlov Dog Phenomenon. It has been proven, that people exhibit similar brain-stimuli response to text messages, etc. I'm a guy with my own interests with a life. Not some court jester whos sole purpose on this earth is to serve and entertain the princess. You boys are rewarding bad behavior and training them wrong from the get go. Plus, people get anxiety in today's fast-pace communication world. People are used to instant communication gratification, etc. If a woman has anxiety and can't survive because I don't have FB and update it every 5 minutes to share with her and everyone else I ate an egg sandwich for lunch or I can't respond in X minutes to a text because I am meeting with client, driving, hanging with friends, taking a shower or using the bathroom... She has a screw loose and way to needy for me. Fortunately, I haven't meet one like that yet but I do know they are out there. Edited February 28, 2016 by EatYourVeggies 7
edgygirl Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Honestly I was on a flight yesterday and it was parked for 1 hour before taking off... several planes of American Airlines' specially the small ones do not have electrical outlets. My phone was dying. I know it must sound like a lame excuse, but sometimes it's not.
smackie9 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 If he he hasn't gotten back to you, then you just go find something else to do, like call up a friend and go see a movie. He got held up, let it go.
Recommended Posts