Kylemopar Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 (edited) So there's this girl I used to like I'm high school 4 years ago who I just recently became friends with on Facebook. We sat on the same lunch table and I've always had a crush on her but she was spoken for at the time. I don't think she really knew I existed, I just added her and she accepted it. On her Facebook she has recently gotten out of a relationship a month ago posting stuff like, "time to move on" and other things like posts despising Valentine's Day and another one where she posted a video saying "What every girl wants." And it's a video of a girl walking in a room full of balloons and roses and I'm actually the kind of guy that likes doing that kind of stuff. I'm a cheesy and hopeless romantic. So how can I start a conversation that leads to me asking her out on a date. She likes the sweet and nice kind of guys and I am the kind of guy. I already liked and commented on one of her pictures and she just liked my comment, I think just to be nice though ?. She's very pretty and I've liked her since high school but I don't know if she remembers me. Edited February 21, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 " And it's a video of a girl walking in a room full of balloons and roses. Tell her your fave movie is American Beauty. More seriously, remind her the time when you'd take lunch at the same table, old teachers, try to remember a conversation, something in particular that once made you laugh together. Keep liking some of her pics, that's showing online interest. And set up a date Irl eventually. You're adults now 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stardus7 Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Tell her your fave movie is American Beauty. More seriously, remind her the time when you'd take lunch at the same table, old teachers, try to remember a conversation, something in particular that once made you laugh together. Keep liking some of her pics, that's showing online interest. And set up a date Irl eventually. You're adults now Good one, nostalgia trip is always good. You share the same small piece of past, just bring it up I'm sure you'll find someting to talk about. You'll see how it'll go from there and will you two click. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kylemopar Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 Of course I'm gonna ask her out but what if I send her a message and she doesn't reply to it and just reads it? I want to make sure I say something perfect to start the ball rolling cause I can take it from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Of course I'm gonna ask her out but what if I send her a message and she doesn't reply to it and just reads it? I want to make sure I say something perfect to start the ball rolling cause I can take it from there. No message is ever perfect, don't try too hard either. As I suggested, talk about something in your old high school, anything, and keep chatting until she agrees to meet Irl. I'm not saying this will work 100%, but she accepted the friend request so... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kylemopar Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 Should I tell her that I used to have a crush on her in highschool? Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Not until you met her in real life a couple times imo. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DropCity Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 (edited) Should I tell her that I used to have a crush on her in highschool? Kylemopar... NO! Save this information for another time with any girl. Learn to be and show her, or any girl, you have... ...Confidence (self-confidence and self-esteem) ...Control (discipline, patience, self-control) ...Challenge (This will come naturally with Control.) If you follow these things and all goes well with you and your crush, in time she may crave and hint that you're not very 'into her' or 'like her'. That's when you can sweetly smile and romantically say to her... "Oh? Well I've been crushing on you since high school and still do today." (Btw, save the balloons and roses till the two of you are officially a couple.) In the meantime... learn what she likes and talk about that with her. Chat with her about what she's been up to for the past 4 years. Don't dwell on problems or negative issues. Remember... you are Confident, Controlled, (happy, fun, interesting) and somewhat of a Challenging guy! Finally, pay attention to her level of interest she has in you. One way to do that is notice if she asks questions about you! If things don't work out, then you have the 3 C's practiced and in mind for the next girl that does show a high level interest in you someday. Good luck, relax, be cool and enjoy! Edited February 20, 2016 by DropCity Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyHonesty Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 ...She likes the sweet and nice kind of guys and I am the kind of guy. .. Many women will tell you and those around them that they like sweet guys. Do not listen to what they tell you, look at their actions and then decide. What sort of guys has she gone for etc. In your case, unless you build up attraction and chemistry, you are unlikely to get much success. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Many women will tell you and those around them that they like sweet guys. Do not listen to what they tell you, look at their actions and then decide. What sort of guys has she gone for etc. In your case, unless you build up attraction and chemistry, you are unlikely to get much success. I agree. (gal here) OP, you need to develop some rapport with her first. Do not go telling her you had a crush on her in high school right away. Wait and see if she shows any interest in you first. Otherwise you risk scaring her off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kylemopar Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 Alright well I messaged her last night and we talked for a bit, I didn't tell her about the crush but I did tell her that we should hang out one day to catch up. Unfortunately she doesn't remember me but she said that we should hang out one day. I sent her another message after that but she hasn't replied yet although she did read it, maybe she went to sleep? It was like at 11:40pm Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Alright well I messaged her last night and we talked for a bit, I didn't tell her about the crush but I did tell her that we should hang out one day to catch up. Unfortunately she doesn't remember me but she said that we should hang out one day. I sent her another message after that but she hasn't replied yet although she did read it, maybe she went to sleep? It was like at 11:40pm What did your message say? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kylemopar Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 Well she asked me how I was after high school and I said I was doing great, actually better than I though and that I just got lucky. She then asked me why I said I was lucky and I told her that after graduating I met a guy who later on became my mentor and taught me how to manage mi ey and that I've had lots of opportunities because of him. She hasn't replied after that. So should I send her another message asking her anything else? I really want to keep talking to her, I don't want to mess this up. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Well she asked me how I was after high school and I said I was doing great, actually better than I though and that I just got lucky. She then asked me why I said I was lucky and I told her that after graduating I met a guy who later on became my mentor and taught me how to manage mi ey and that I've had lots of opportunities because of him. She hasn't replied after that. So should I send her another message asking her anything else? I really want to keep talking to her, I don't want to mess this up. You could ask her what she's been up to since high school, if you haven't already. It's always a good idea to volley a question back to the other person so they have something to respond to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kylemopar Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 Should I do it now or should I wait a bit? I know that sounds stupid buying suck at **** like this. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Yes ask now, and if she responds then ask her to meet for lunch to catch up. Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiogirl Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Alright well I messaged her last night and we talked for a bit, I didn't tell her about the crush but I did tell her that we should hang out one day to catch up. Unfortunately she doesn't remember me but she said that we should hang out one day. I sent her another message after that but she hasn't replied yet although she did read it, maybe she went to sleep? It was like at 11:40pm Try not to be vague and saying things like "hang out some day". When someone says that to me, I say "yes, we should" and I know we'll never get together. He's sufficiently vague that I don't need to give a firm answer. Be assertive. Texting seems to be your generation's means of communication but don't let it go on in a vague manner for months. I would say ask her if she'd like to meet on X day. Make it clear that you're interested in her. You risk her giving you the " just friends" line but at least then you'll know. She probably already has an inkling that you like her. So find out for sure. Show an interest in what she's been up to since high school, etc. She may not even be ready to date yet but don't allow yourself to be made just a friend if what you want is something more. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Scorpio has great advice. I really hope it works out well for you and keep us updated. I think asking to meet at a time and place is great advice and then you can see how serious it is. I once met up with a guy I very bravely messaged out of the blue after meeting him at a museum (he was the tour guide). Anyway it never worked out and although he asked me out for a drink, I surmised that he didn't seem particularly interested and he said that he and his gf had just broken up. It never went anywhere but I realised that I lost nothing for trying. Even if it doesn't result in you both dating, it will help you grow in confidence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kylemopar Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 Okay well talked a bit more and I asked her that we should get kbbq on Friday if she has the day off. She told me she doesn't but she's not busy and that we should. I then asked if she still lives in the same city and what time whoild be best for her. She just seen it and didn't reply, so I'm a bit confused now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kylemopar Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 Update: she posted something on Facebook saying "When you think it's okay and fine but it's really a living hell." So I asked her if everything was wrong and if she wanted to talk about it. To my surprise she did and we kind of started talking from there and responded fairly quick and asked questions about me, apparently she remembers me now. And she liked something on my Facebook from October of a picture of a guy proposing to a girl surrounded by rose petals in a heart shape saying "If it's wrong for me to want this then I don't want to be right." ...it's true I would like some gay shiz like that. Did I do good or am I heading toward the friend zone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kylemopar Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 update: gave her my number and she actually texted me!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 update: gave her my number and she actually texted me!!! Good job! Now make a plan for the day you mentioned. Stay cool and don't read too much into her social media, timeliness of responses, and so on. Keep the conversation light and fun and see how things go in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kylemopar Posted February 22, 2016 Author Share Posted February 22, 2016 Okay so at times she doesn't reply back, she says she doesn't see the message or whatever so I'll take her word for it. She added me on snapchat using my phone number and she also added me on Instagram. But anyways last night we texted till 1am and I told her I was gonna go to sleep and that I might be a bit busy in the day but that she can still text me if she wants to. She hasn't texted me but she has been a active on some social media, should I start the conversation? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 Okay so at times she doesn't reply back, she says she doesn't see the message or whatever so I'll take her word for it. She added me on snapchat using my phone number and she also added me on Instagram. But anyways last night we texted till 1am and I told her I was gonna go to sleep and that I might be a bit busy in the day but that she can still text me if she wants to. She hasn't texted me but she has been a active on some social media, should I start the conversation? This suggests you've asked her why she doesn't reply - have you? If so, you need to cool the jets a bit. You've only just reconnected with her and have no idea at this point if she has any interest. I think you need to let her come to you now. If you've been initiating so far, it would be wise to see if she reaches you to you in return. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kylemopar Posted February 22, 2016 Author Share Posted February 22, 2016 Oh no I haven't asked her why she hasn't replied, she just randomly texted me that after we talked a bit on Snap Chat...ironically after I asked her if she's free on Friday. When I asked her she pretty much ignored that snapchat convo and texted me in iMessage saying that she didn't see my previous text. Link to post Share on other sites
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