stardus7 Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Ok, I need some help and outside views and advise on this. My gf was out in a bar with her friend, who was on a date with this straight guy, right? She was just accompanying her and keeping her friend from getting nervous and f**king up. They're drinking beers, chatting, laughing having fun, just good times, nothing to worry about. She (my gf) is out having a cigarette with this gay guy, who is her friends dates' friend, right? (try to bear with me here) They're just chatting and the gay guy says to her ''Have you noticed how your friend is in love with my friend(straight)?'' something along those lines. Then, he, the gay guy grabs my girl by the head from behind, turns her around and smooches her one. Out of the blue. SO the deal is, I'm kinda pissed off. Don't know to who, but I am. I'm not the macho douche who goes around beating people up but I'm just angry and quite honestly don't know how to feel. I've talked to her about this just 20minutes ago through phone and she was the one who told me about this and that scenario what I explained was her words, to me. And she doesn't understand how I can feel the way I feel about the whole thing. And she acted somehow ''arrogant'' or something in her tone of voice and comments like '' I can't believe you have a problem with this, what the f**k? Are you serious?''. Am I just over-reacting or being a oversensitive prick??
Author stardus7 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 She said that he was ''as gay as gay can be''. And now that we're hashing this situation ATM, she said that ''I don't see anything wrong with (him kissing me). It's like me kissing Tina (her friend)''
jay1983 Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 My guess is the guy isn't really gay and they're fu*King with you. 1
Author stardus7 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 That's what I said too, that he's probably not 100% gay. But then again I was not there and didn't see the situation. But what I gathered it was kind of a ''forced kiss'', the way he grabbed her from the head from behind, turned her around and just kissed her. But I'm still crazy and delusional.
GR4 Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 So she'd be totally fine with you kissing a gay women then, right? No, I didn't think she would... 2
Author stardus7 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 No, no she didn't kiss anyone, she got kissed. But the biggest problem here is not the who kissed who but the fact that she is totally fine with guys kissing her as long as they say that they're gay or ''gay''. To me that is just weird. And disrespectful and rude for her to dismiss my concern with the matter and am just delusional and overreacting.
Buddhist Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Well if he's kissing her then he's bi, not gay. He may well be flamboyant and identify as gay but he's bi. So would she be saying these things if a straight guy had done the same thing? I don't think so. You need to tell her to wake up, that guy is so not homosexual and kissing on the mouth is not a platonic gesture however she wants to spin it. 1
Buddhist Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 she said that ''I don't see anything wrong with (him kissing me). It's like me kissing Tina (her friend)'' Okay then, call Tina up, invite her over and give her a big smooch in front of your girlfriend. That will sort the issue out right away. 1
Author stardus7 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 Yeah, it's just frustrating. She says ''it was not sexual'', ''it's not a big deal'', ''he's gay'', ''it's like if I kissed my friend''. I knew I wasn't overreacting, I tried to reason with her with all your opinions and more, before. But she don't get it. I'm still the overreacting jealous jerk. Not a good question but goddamn, is this the way most of the women just are? Need to turn gay myself soon, haha...
Author stardus7 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 And now, all of a sudden she brought up how she has no clue what I'm doing when I'm not with her. Like she has no idea and she just has to trust in me. Like the conversation took a turn on me, making me like the bad guy or whatever out of nowhere on like how in her mind I might be cheating or flirting with girls behind her back. I'm getting confused
Buddhist Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 And now, all of a sudden she brought up how she has no clue what I'm doing when I'm not with her. Like she has no idea and she just has to trust in me. Like the conversation took a turn on me, making me like the bad guy or whatever out of nowhere on like how in her mind I might be cheating or flirting with girls behind her back. I'm getting confused Okay a big heads up, add this one to your arsenal. When someone does this it's a manipulation tactic called deflection. They avoid taking any responsibility for their own behaviour by calling out yours instead. Think about that for a minute. Besides if all this happened in your absence think about why she would feel the need to tell you all about it? What would be the motivation to do that? 2
LostOnes05 Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Kiss a sexy lesbian and tell her, "she's as gay as can be" or "see, I didn't even like it. Are you seriously upset?! It's like me kissing Joe." She will flip her ****!!
Author stardus7 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 I don't know, maybe she's being honest? That I can respect, but when she thinks the actions that took place are ok and I'm the crazy one is well beyond me. The accusations/expectations aimed at me we're totally false and have never done anything to even hint I'm being unfaithful, which is even more confusing.
Author stardus7 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 Kiss a sexy lesbian and tell her, "she's as gay as can be" or "see, I didn't even like it. Are you seriously upset?! It's like me kissing Joe." She will flip her ****!! haha, good one but she wasn't the one doing the kissing And I'm not the revenge type, revenge breeds revenge and hate. The thought crossed in my twisted imagination, sure.
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 stardus7, whether gay, bi or straight, old, mid age or young, to grab someone you've just met and kiss them on the mouth is at the very least rude and imo it's invasive... what would bother me about it, were I you, is that your gf doesn't think more of herself than to allow that, or if she didn't have an opportunity to fend him off, that she didn't stick up for herself and call him out on it... 1
Author stardus7 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 stardus7, whether gay, bi or straight, old, mid age or young, to grab someone you've just met and kiss them on the mouth is at the very least rude and imo it's invasive... what would bother me about it, were I you, is that your gf doesn't think more of herself than to allow that, or if she didn't have an opportunity to fend him off, that she didn't stick up for herself and call him out on it... You know, that's what I said too. Like why was she okay with it, laughed it off and what not? I thought it was already ''carved in stone'' that your SO's lips should only ''belong'' to you. Like why didn't she take offense, not to mention the guy was like 40 and she's 23. 2
kgcolonel Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Quick question here....was there anyone else there that could have observed this kiss that you both may know?
Author stardus7 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 Quick question here....was there anyone else there that could have observed this kiss that you both may know? Yeah I almost immediately asked her friend who she was there with. But she texted my girlfriend before replying to me saying that I messaged her about it, so I figured she can't be trusted and just said never mind.
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 stardus7, the dating period is to find out what a person is like. Seems to me you've learned something about your gf's self esteem.
Author stardus7 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 stardus7, the dating period is to find out what a person is like. Seems to me you've learned something about your gf's self esteem. Yeah but what does it mean? I'm so damn confused by now and it's 4am.
kgcolonel Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Just a theory but any chance your GF is trying to cover for an indiscretion? Did the her girl friend give you any response after she conferred with your GF? Also, assuming you don't know the GG, any way to confirm her description?
Author stardus7 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 Just a theory but any chance your GF is trying to cover for an indiscretion? Did the her girl friend give you any response after she conferred with your GF? Also, assuming you don't know the GG, any way to confirm her description? Just a ''Whaaat? '' And no, I don't believe there was anything sexual on her part. I don't have a reason to believe so, might be she does, might be she doesn't.
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Yeah but what does it mean? I'm so damn confused by now and it's 4am. personally, if I had bf whom someone did this to and it didn't bother the bf, I probably would think bf didn't think very highly of himself (low self esteem) and that would be a huge turnoff for me; I'd just lose my attraction for him... it doesn't seem to have affected you that way so you just have to figure out what it means to you and what you're willing to live with... 1
Author stardus7 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 personally, if I had bf whom someone did this to and it didn't bother the bf, I probably would think bf didn't think very highly of himself (low self esteem) and that would be a huge turnoff for me; I'd just lose my attraction for him... it doesn't seem to have affected you that way so you just have to figure out what it means to you and what you're willing to live with... Yeah, she doesn't have the highest self-esteem. This ain't a crisis of any sort, the original idea behind my thread was to get some clarification on the matter, whos right who's wrong, am I alright feeling what I'm feeling about it, you know? I love her to death, she's the prettiest girl I know and there is no other that can even compare. But this was all next level sh*t, how can she be okay with this type of behaviour and can't picture her on my side.
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