Yasmine Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 My ex wants to talk after 3 months of NC about the relationship and how I've also been wrong in many ways. Her motive was to create peace. How is this useful in any way. Plus the break-up ended very nasty. There could be of course TRUE numerous reasons as to why she wants to 'talk'... To strike her ego, to reconcile, to create closure... What are motives for you to talk with an ex and create peace?
mightycpa Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 My ex wants to talk after 3 months of NC about the relationship and how I've also been wrong in many ways. All too often, "peace" means unloading their frustrations on you. They must think it will give them peace, to have that final fight, where they think they're going to win. 2
jen1447 Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 If you have a personal 'demon' about sth - and in the case of failed relationships that demon is usually your ex - you first have to make peace w/it before you can make the best kind of peace w/yourself. I'ma little suspicious tho - she wants to tell you how you were wrong? Sounds like she's still just in the ax-grinding stage. 2
kztar Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 Not useful in ANY way. Breadcrumbs. If she isnt willing to talk about fixing the relationship. No need to make peace, the peace is found within yourself. 2
Author Yasmine Posted February 19, 2016 Author Posted February 19, 2016 Hi! Yes it was her response to a cold message I send. In her message she claimed to have not forgotten about me, and still called me babe. I responded with a cold message. Then she replied how she wanted to create peace talk about the relationship and what went wrong from both sides.
BeFierce Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 Stop contacting her, block her all together. just vent out on the forum if you want to vent. When you disconnect from her all together thats the biggest insult you can ever give them-because you show them they are absolutely nothing. 2
mightycpa Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 Yeah, don't respond. When you do, you hinder her recovery. She will start to do things like read burnt chicken bones in order to understand what you meant when you used the word "the" instead of "a" in your message. And of course, she'll respond back, and then you will, then she will, and .... You get the idea. 2
kztar Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 Most of the time dumpers want to keep you around because the truth is, they feel guilt. They didn't want to hurt you but most of the time they were never open about problems, solving them ETC. So guess what, they want us the dumpee to understand where they come from and make them feel better by telling them 'YES I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DUMPED ME THE WAY YOU DID. ITS ALL GOOD LETS BE BUDDIES NOW". And NO it does not work that way. Well honestly as the dumpee NOTHING makes you feel better so why should you make peace with someone to make them feel better about themselves. You deal with your guilty conscience and I deal with my broken heart. One day when you are at peace with yourself thats when you make peace. Not with them, but yourself. 2
mightycpa Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 Most of the time dumpers want to keep you around because the truth is, they feel guilt. They didn't want to hurt you but most of the time they were never open about problems, solving them ETC. So guess what, they want us the dumpee to understand where they come from and make them feel better by telling them 'YES I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DUMPED ME THE WAY YOU DID. ITS ALL GOOD LETS BE BUDDIES NOW". And NO it does not work that way. Well honestly as the dumpee NOTHING makes you feel better so why should you make peace with someone to make them feel better about themselves. You deal with your guilty conscience and I deal with my broken heart. One day when you are at peace with yourself thats when you make peace. Not with them, but yourself. I got the impression Yasmine was the dumper and the dumpee was bugging him. No? It was the part about "to create closure" that pointed me in that direction. Usually, it's only those who get dumped that need closure.
SammySammy Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 I want to have peace with everyone. I have no use or need for drama or chaos in my life. I've found the best way for me to have peace with my exes is for them to stay far, far away. Out of my life. If it were me, she would have to find her "peace" another way. Definitely not by dumping her emotional garbage into my life. No contact would continue. Indefinitely.
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