simon_uk Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 So I have been broken up from my ex for a little over two months. I know I am not over her yet and probably a few people here know that aswell. Anyway most advice says go out and date even if you dont want to. So finally last night I did go on a date. The lady in question was very nice but I just dont know what to do now. She didn't really look like my sister but there were certain mannerisms that reminded me of her and it was a bit off putting. Anyway that aside, we had a good night, interesting conversation and even some kissing at the end of the night. I think she is very keen and I have just received a message from her asking what I am doing today and to pop into her work if I am bored. Like I say I am still grieving my ex and dont want to rush back into anyhting with somebody new and also want to date around for a bit, whereas this girl wants a relationship. What do I tell her, how do I act, I dont want to hurt her feelings. I think someimes I am a bit sensitive to other peoples feelings and I worry too much. It is difficult to tell her I am not ready for anything serious because all the advice says dont discuss the ex. So what do I do people? Simon
RoxStar Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 You should be honest with her and let her know you are not looking for something serious if you feel that is what she wants. I think its good that you went out on a date. Just have fun but be honest.
alphamale Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by simon_uk Like I say I am still grieving my ex and dont want to rush back into anyhting with somebody new and also want to date around for a bit, be honest SIMON and say the above. email it to her if you can't say it face-to-face but keep the email short and concise.
Author simon_uk Posted June 13, 2005 Author Posted June 13, 2005 Hi Alpha She texted me the morning after our date and said, "wondered what you are doing if you are bored you could call in and see me at work, I really enjoyed last night" I replied "Well I am actually going out to book a holiday, I really enjoyed last night too. have a great day" Her "Is that your way of saying you dont want to see me again? If so good luck, may see you around" My god! How keen? So I replied "No it isn't my way of saying that, I have plans, but I dont want to rush things" Her final response "Well I am looking for somebody to share my life with, Good luck with everything. Take Care x" See the thing is I did actually enjoy her company, she was attractive and I would have liked to see her again. But it just seemed a bit much after one night. What happened to taking things easy? I have another date tonight and I am also going on a speed dating event tomorrow! I still love my ex dearly and I am clearly not over her but at the moment, I've got my swagger back!!! How long it will last I dont know.
crazy_grl Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by simon_uk I have another date tonight and I am also going on a speed dating event tomorrow! I don't know if the speed dating is a good idea. Aren't those generally for people who are looking for serious relationships? I could be wrong, but that's the impression I've always had of them. You might want to make sure you're up front with them about not looking for a relationship at the moment and not go out on any real dates with anyone unless you know she's not looking for one either.
clynn Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 I think that you have to test out the water, otherwise how will you know when it is ready for swimming? I think the girl you dated is WAY to serious for even a person who IS looking for a serious relationship. My heavens, that sounds pretty harsh after just one date. She took your reply far to harshly. Your response was short but honest and not hurtful and nothing in it replied that you didn't want to see her again. Wow. Keep it up. You may go through a dating flurry for a while and then become exhausted, take another break and eventually come out swinging. When the temperature is right you may feel ready to date someone more seriously. Good on you! Just be honest with the girls. Some of them may be cool with it, others will be too serious, but if you're honest, that is the fairest thing to be.
sarah12 Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 Hey I think it's good that she was being honest. She seemed to pick up on what you were saying and realizes that you are looking for something different from her, so she doesn't want to waste her time. No harm done. She just happened to turn the tables around on you and catch you off guard. You weren't really interested in her anyways and this is clear in your original post.
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