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How to not think of them? Good distraction ideas needed pls.

miss-gonewest

By miss-gonewest
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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miss-gonewest Established Member

miss-gonewest

Posted
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I need some ideas to keep busy.... and to get my mind off my ex and to get happy again. It is said over and over again that you have to get on with your life, and that as soon as you find yourself thinking about your ex, to get busy, but what do you do?

 

I live on my own; I rent my apartment so I can't renovate; I only have a fish and he doesn't talk back to me; my friends are all busy doing their own thing or starting new romances (ick - I went out with a girlfriend last night to cheer myself up and all I saw was the back of her head while she kissed her new guy); and I don't have that many hobbies...

 

So what do you do? If I read I lose concentration and I start thinking about him and wondering what he is doing (having a fabulous time probably)/ There isn't much on tv. Cooking is no good to me as I don't have an appetite.... and this website has become my new best friend!

 

Does anyone have any good ideas? I can't be the only boring person in the world surely? :eek:

AndrewJ Established Member

AndrewJ

Posted
Posted

a good dvd perhaps.

 

I know how it feels it sux. hang in there.

willduggan Member

willduggan

Posted
Posted

the tv shows show people watching tv in their pj's with a huge tub of ice cream for a reason;) indulge! spoil yourself just this once, go to a movie, go to a nice dinner with a good friend or by yourself, go to a concert!

 

think of all the things youve wanted to do but couldnt and now do them! maybe travel some, take up a hobby, collect anything? collect more! haha i whatever your passion, go at it:) much for games? try http://www.newgrounds.com or http://www.ebaumsworld.com you might find some jokes there. try searching for websites that are funny. much for music? toss in your favorite cd:) i wish you the best of luck.

snowgirl75 Member

snowgirl75

Posted
Posted

I am right there with ya. It has been a month for me but I still find myself thinking about him . And I so know what you mean about friends not being there. or being only half there.

I play beach vball, but even that's only once a week. All I can say is just try to find something even walking or listening to some good up beat tunes could be of help.

 

I find rockin' out to kelly clarkson's since u've been gone is helpful. It's so cheesy, childish and stupid, I love it lol.

 

I'm having a real hard time myself, spent most of today crying, but i know that eventually it will get better, it has to. So hang in there! :p

toddpearson Member

toddpearson

Posted
Posted

For me, meeting new people helps alot, i strongly reccomend that you do not sit home alone. It makes eveything worse,

Also try not to listen emotional song, and tell yourself that you are strong

This_Too_Shall_Pass Established Member

This_Too_Shall_Pass

Posted
Posted

I have to say that a couple of really good ideas have been suggested here! One is music - listen to something upbeat - and try to do stuff with the headphones on! It helps.

 

And the best thing - read funny stuff, jokes, anecdotes - laughter definitely IS the best medicine! Nothing can beat having a good deep laugh :-) I once got a book of jokes - although they weren't all funny, quite a few of them actually made me laugh out loud.

 

Meeting new people is good too, helps you put your best face forward even when you ain't feeling that great.

 

What I do is this - get together with a few friends - preferably not people with a new love interest (makes me feel worse). Pick those who're single themselves or have been in a relationship for a while, they're less likely to act like chipmunks ;-)

 

I try and go to the mall with them, get coffee or something, and when possible have a potluck at someone's place. Also, group activities like bowling or pool will keep you occupied for a couple of hours. Rent a movie and watch it with them.

 

I know it's hard to actually get all this done - I'm lucky if I get the chance once in a while. And I'm looking really hard for ways to stop thinking about him!

 

I know too, that I should move on and be strong etc., and although I'm in no particular mood to get back with him, I cannot stop thinking about him and it takes away from my productiveness. I know all that I supposed to do - but darn if there was only a way to erase part of my memory! I'd erase everything to do with that person and maybe I would be happy again.

 

But till science makes it there, I just want to find some way to help me stop caring at all and stop thinking about him. May we all be freed from this!

This_Too_Shall_Pass Established Member

This_Too_Shall_Pass

Posted
Posted

I have to say that a couple of really good ideas have been suggested here! One is music - listen to something upbeat - and try to do stuff with the headphones on! It helps.

 

And the best thing - read funny stuff, jokes, anecdotes - laughter definitely IS the best medicine! Nothing can beat having a good deep laugh :-) I once got a book of jokes - although they weren't all funny, quite a few of them actually made me laugh out loud.

 

Meeting new people is good too, helps you put your best face forward even when you ain't feeling that great.

 

What I do is this - get together with a few friends - preferably not people with a new love interest (makes me feel worse). Pick those who're single themselves or have been in a relationship for a while, they're less likely to act like chipmunks ;-)

 

I try and go to the mall with them, get coffee or something, and when possible have a potluck at someone's place. Also, group activities like bowling or pool will keep you occupied for a couple of hours. Rent a movie and watch it with them.

 

I know it's hard to actually get all this done - I'm lucky if I get the chance once in a while. And I'm looking really hard for ways to stop thinking about him!

 

I know too, that I should move on and be strong etc., and although I'm in no particular mood to get back with him, I cannot stop thinking about him and it takes away from my productiveness. I know all that I supposed to do - but darn if there was only a way to erase part of my memoy! I'd erase everything to do with that person and maybe I would be happy again.

 

But till science makes it there, I just want to find some way to help me stop caring at all and stop thinking about him. May we all be freed from this!

This_Too_Shall_Pass Established Member

This_Too_Shall_Pass

Posted
Posted

I have to say that a couple of really good ideas have been suggested here! One is music - listen to something upbeat - and try to do stuff with the headphones on! It helps.

 

And the best thing - read funny stuff, jokes, anecdotes - laughter definitely IS the best medicine! Nothing can beat having a good deep laugh :-) I once got a book of jokes - although they weren't all funny, quite a few of them actually made me laugh out loud.

 

Meeting new people is good too, helps you put your best face forward even when you ain't feeling that great.

 

What I do is this - get together with a few friends - preferably not people with a new love interest (makes me feel worse). Pick those who're single themselves or have been in a relationship for a while, they're less likely to act like chipmunks ;-)

 

I try and go to the mall with them, get coffee or something, and when possible have a potluck at someone's place. Also, group activities like bowling or pool will keep you occupied for a couple of hours. Rent a movie and watch it with them.

 

I know it's hard to actually get all this done - I'm lucky if I get the chance once in a while. And I'm looking really hard for ways to stop thinking about him!

 

I know too, that I should move on and be strong etc., and although I'm in no particular mood to get back with him, I cannot stop thinking about him and it takes away from my productiveness. I know all that I supposed to do - but darn if there was only a way to erase part of my memory! I'd erase everything to do with that person and maybe I would be happy again.

 

But till science makes it there, I just want to find some way to help me stop caring at all and stop thinking about him. May we all be freed from this!

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miss-gonewest Established Member

miss-gonewest

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks for a good post This Too Shall Pass, all good advice I agree...

 

Unfortunately I don't have a large group of friends to hit the mall with, or go bowling, so I need to pretty much rely on myself to keep busy! I know there is stuff out there to do, its finding it and then finding the motivation to do so.

 

By biggest challenge is that I need to get past the thinking with my heart stage... and learn to think with my head.

 

I got an email today from the ex (first communication since breakup) and I could physically feel pain in my heart - and while I was trying so very hard to sort my thoughts out, my heart and the pain it was in, was winning!

 

This is where I truly need to enforce NC - if only so I can declutter my mind and think about where to from here... (he offered the friends card!).

 

I think jokes are good; music not so good as all I want to put on is our favourite CD which will be an instant tearjerker; and putting the world into perspective. I am fit, healthy and so lucky to be where I am - some folks don't have food or shelter so its all relative right?

 

Cheers again for the post.

 

Take care & best of luck to you too :)

This_Too_Shall_Pass Established Member

This_Too_Shall_Pass

Posted
Posted

Sorry I posted the same thing thrice!! :o But my internet connection broke and I thought I'd send it again.

 

And I can't seem to delete the extra posts either. So please bear with me people :)

This_Too_Shall_Pass Established Member

This_Too_Shall_Pass

Posted
Posted

Actually, I don't have a mob of friends either just a couple of close ones. And now that I've moved to the US, being in a new country and not knowing people was soooo hard on me at first!

 

But I fished - for people who might remotely be like me. But yes, I agree - its hard to find people to hang out with and want to do the same things as you, and have the time for it at the same time that you do.

Most of the time, it's other people who've made the plans, and I just joined in because of the sheer lack of having anything better to do ;-)

 

Even so, there are long periods of solitude for me - I know its so hard. You know what I do to spend time? I actually surf the internet and visit websites of all the good clothes companies - I'm a bit of a clotheshorse :D And I look at all the pretty new outfits - it keeps me occupied for a while.

 

I don't know if you're a movie person - but maybe you should rent a good movie and watch it with a couple of friends - or else watch it alone. If alone, make sure its a funny movie! Something funny and yet "neutral" enough - something that won't make you sad. How about "The Gods must be crazy"? It's an old one, but a classic. Or "Birdcage"? And "neutral" movies like The Godfather or Lara Croft are ok too.

 

Beware of movies like "Forrest Gump" or "Four weddings and a funeral", though - stay a mile away from those.

 

 

Ok - so I displayed what an ardent movie fan I am! :p But it's hard to get going and bring myself to rent a movie these days.....you know how it is! But we can try...

  • Author
miss-gonewest Established Member

miss-gonewest

Posted
  • Author
Posted

TTSP - thanks again... I think net surfing is the way forward... I have just discovered the joys of surfing and these forums and its proving to be a good friend (as you'll see from all my posts here!!!).

 

Movies are good too... and in fact I am used to being alone, its just those scary moments when the thoughts set in and you panic "oh my god, its 2am, how do I distract myself....?"

 

The moment when I wake up is the worst... once I am up and showered its usually passed... then I am all ready for another fun day at work :D

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