smoochie Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 (edited) Hey guys, I've been dating a great guy for 8 months. He opened up with entire life to me but I was very guarded with my feelings. We spent a ton of time together and did a lot of fun things. We know each other's family and friends and talk/text every day. Because I never told him how I felt, he was always insecure and doing things I thought was clingy and strange. After one particularly bad blow out, I went over to talk and finally understood why he was acting the way he was. I pledged to show my feelings more and give him my heart. But it seems like he just can't forgive me and its been about a month since that talk. He ended things with me a few days ago during an argument I started because I was upset he wouldn't accept my repentance and move forward with the relationship. I actually said the words first but he went APE S*** on me and started saying he was over us, we weren't compatible and he needed space. I kept trying to get him to see my side of the situation blurted out that I loved him (I do but never told him before that day) and feel like an idiot. He finally hung the phone up on me and we haven't spoken since. It's been four days. I had something delivered to him prior to the big argument that I couldn't cancel and when he received it, he did say he wasn't going to be a douchbag and said thank you for the delivery. I did not respond because I didn't want to upset him any further. He knows how I feel and that I want a second chance to make things better. He told me he loved me the entire time we were together and honestly showed me nothing but love and kindness. He got me many gifts during our time together as well. But I am also mad that he won't forgive me either....lol. I know it's my fault but if he was into me as he said and acted, why not give me a chance? I'm thinking he's feeling it's too little, too late. He said it shouldn't have taken for him to be broken for me to start pulling my weight in the relationship. But I am repentant and he refused to let me show him. Any hope here guys? Edited February 18, 2016 by smoochie
2much4 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 (edited) You said you were trying to make him see your side of things....I would try to see his. 8 months is a long time to tell someone you love them and never hear it back. He must be full of resentment. I'm not saying you did anything wrong. I'm only saying some things can be hard to let go of. I would try to give him a while to cool down. If he still wants to work things out, take it from there and try to be as understanding as possible. I don't know if this is salvagable. Wait and see. Edited February 18, 2016 by 2much4
Author smoochie Posted February 18, 2016 Author Posted February 18, 2016 (edited) You said you were trying to make him see your side of things....I would try to see his. 8 months is a long time to tell someone you love them and never hear it back. He must be full of resentment. I'm not saying you did anything wrong. I'm only saying some things can be hard to let go of. I would try to give him a while to cool down. If he still wants to work things out, take it from there and try to be as understanding as possible. I don't know if this is salvagable. Wait and see. Thanks 2much4. How long should I wait before contacting him again? I really don't plan to because he was heated and I don't want to push him any further away. I already hate the fact that he had to hang the phone up on me because I wouldn't get off the phone. Not trying to make myself like any more foolish than I feel. My family is having a surprise dinner for my aunt I just found out about today. Should I invite him? I also have some of his things. Should I offer to mail them back? He gave me some expensive items and not sure if I should offer to return those as well. Yeah I can see how painful that could be. I'm just hoping he knows I am regretful and really do love him. Edited February 18, 2016 by smoochie
feb87 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Thanks 2much4. How long should I wait before contacting him again? I really don't plan to because he was heated and I don't want to push him any further away. I already hate the fact that he had to hang the phone up on me because I wouldn't get off the phone. Not trying to make myself like any more foolish than I feel. My family is having a surprise dinner for my aunt I just found out about today. Should I invite him? I also have some of his things. Should I offer to mail them back? He gave me some expensive items and not sure if I should offer to return those as well. Yeah I can see how painful that could be. I'm just hoping he knows I am regretful and really do love him. Give him space. Take your space. He might come back, but he might not. Do not invite him yet. Do not offer to mail them back. If he gave you things while you were in a serious, committed, loving relationship, then don't give those things back. Breakups happen and we'd collect a lot of junk if we made it a policy to give things back. I'm sorry this happened to you, but remember that you're not alone.
Zahara Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 (edited) How long should I wait before contacting him again? I really don't plan to because he was heated and I don't want to push him any further away. I already hate the fact that he had to hang the phone up on me because I wouldn't get off the phone. Not trying to make myself like any more foolish than I feel. I think it would be best to leave him alone. You've said your piece so now it is up to him to decide if he wants to reconcile. Just pack his things and mail them back to him or pack them up and store them away. You don't have to return the gifts that he has given you. Edited February 18, 2016 by Zahara
Author smoochie Posted February 18, 2016 Author Posted February 18, 2016 Okay I will keep away. You guys are right, he knows how I feel so if he wants me back, he knows where I am. Now, do I delete him from social media? He hasn't deleted me yet but he has historically deleted and blocked all of his ex's in the past. I don't want him to think I am mad at him but I keep checking his page to see if he added new friends. He rarely posts anymore so I know I won't see any updates.
Zahara Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 Okay I will keep away. You guys are right, he knows how I feel so if he wants me back, he knows where I am. Now, do I delete him from social media? He hasn't deleted me yet but he has historically deleted and blocked all of his ex's in the past. I don't want him to think I am mad at him but I keep checking his page to see if he added new friends. He rarely posts anymore so I know I won't see any updates. You should block him because you don't want to see something on there that may trigger you or cause you more pain than you are already feeling. It doesn't matter what he thinks. It's a break-up. With that comes necessary steps you should take to protect yourself. Your emotions come first, not his. Trust me, I've made the mistake before. The ex never posted anything either and everyday I felt a little bit better because in some way it made me feel as if he wasn't moving on. Until one day a few months after the ending I snooped and there it was - a picture of him and his new girlfriend. I was in deep pain and got booted back to square one. Don't worry about what he thinks -- take care of yourself.
Raina314 Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 Okay I will keep away. You guys are right, he knows how I feel so if he wants me back, he knows where I am. Now, do I delete him from social media? He hasn't deleted me yet but he has historically deleted and blocked all of his ex's in the past. I don't want him to think I am mad at him but I keep checking his page to see if he added new friends. He rarely posts anymore so I know I won't see any updates. I don't think you need to block him yet. You broke up in a heated argument and he said he needed space. If you don't hear from him after a month, you can safely assume it's over. But blocking him can come off as an angry move of you wanting nothing more to do with him, which is fine if you've already decided to move on and need to heal, but it doesn't seem like you're quite at that point yet and don't have to be. It's probably best to just unfollow/usubscribe to him. That way you don't see every little thing he does, but he also doesn't feel like you're pushing him away further (which is the root of the problem in the first place).
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