2much4 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 There's no way I will contact him again, but I wish he knew. Don't worry loveshack, I will not break no contact! My exes post break up behaviour really made me hate him. One of the finest examples of said behaviour is him sending me a picture of him kissing the woman he cheated on me with. Why? Because I am a dear "friend" and friends share those kinds of intimate information. I want him to know what a low life he is. I want to know why I ended up blocking him "out of the blue". I want him to know why he doesn't even deserve a "hello". As much as I wish he realised how cruel he was, I doubt he does. It's not fair. 1
socoffee Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Lovely. Best way to do this. Don't give him an inch on shi* . he tries to contact you. You don't even blink, don't ever msg, don't ever reply, don't even acknowledge him when you see him. And he'll know. Trust me he will. 5
Brando Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Block him. Anything you say will feed his ego and he really won't care. What an a** he is... 3
Shiggs Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 I feel like the best way is to show him that you don't care about him at all. Just move on and block him out of your life. No need to go the revenge route and stoop to his level because you're better than that. Not giving a damn about what happened and moving on is the best way in my opinion. I know it's hard, but always take the higher road. 1
feb87 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Lovely. Best way to do this. Don't give him an inch on shi* . he tries to contact you. You don't even blink, don't ever msg, don't ever reply, don't even acknowledge him when you see him. And he'll know. Trust me he will. THIS. Nothing hurts more than having someone you once cared about seemingly forget you exist. 1
Mrin Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 What others said. Or... And I am just saying here... But forwarding his mail for him can be fun. Cancelling his internet can also be fun. Giving his phone number to telemarketers can make you feel better. As is signing him up for things - like sex toy catalogs. Many customer service web pages have a "call back" feature where you can enter his phone number for a late night call. Subscribing him to email newsletters can be fun. Calling an escort to go to his house when his girlfriend is there can be neat. Oh there are so many fun things you can do... Or just ignore him forever! 3
ScienceGal Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. If you're still feeling lots of anger, you're not over him yet. Sorry. Keep moving forward, full healing and closure will come from within. Good luck! 7
BC1980 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 I remember feeling this way. I actually wrote a hate filled letter that I didn't send. It helped me get it all out. I contemplated sending the letter, but, in the end, I realized it would just make me look like a fool. He would probably pity me. The feelings passed in time. One day, I realized that I didn't care, and I didn't hate him anymore. I just didn't care. The thing is that even if you sent a letter, your ex wouldn't agree with it. He's not going to agree that he's a low life or that he did something awful. So what does it matter in the end? Nothing really. 4
dreamingoftigers Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 What others said. Or... And I am just saying here... But forwarding his mail for him can be fun. Cancelling his internet can also be fun. Giving his phone number to telemarketers can make you feel better. As is signing him up for things - like sex toy catalogs. Many customer service web pages have a "call back" feature where you can enter his phone number for a late night call. Subscribing him to email newsletters can be fun. Calling an escort to go to his house when his girlfriend is there can be neat. Oh there are so many fun things you can do... Or just ignore him forever! Not mature, but hilarious. 1
carotini Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 You might want to ask yourself why it’s so important to you that he knows you hate him. And if you hate him, you’re not over him. A long, long time ago (I was very young) I had a bf who really disrespected me – a lot. He openly cheated, told others he knew he could get me whenever he wanted me, even told me that other girls were after him. Of course I should have moved on, but I loved him – so I thought at the time. When it ‘ended’ I wrote him several letters pointing out the things he did and wanting to know why. Later I kicked myself because 1) he already knew what he did and 2) he didn’t care. It took me a long time to get over the hurt and anger, and I had to convince myself he wasn’t even worth the time, effort, and postage I’d spent on all those letters. My advice: Don’t waste your time. Don’t acknowledge his existence. Be glad he’s out of your life. 4
stillyoung Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 I had a friend that was always so determined to get back at a guy that broke up with her or chose someone else. She would parade past his house in bikinis or whatever, to "let him know what he was missing." She would write those letters detailing everything he did wrong and why. I always thought that that would just make him glad that he left her, because she was acting all goofy and dramatic. Plus, why outline everything he did wrong? Just so, on the off chance he does consider all those points, it will just improve him for the next girl. When I had a bad breakup and I knew it was over for good, I certainly didn't want to give him the parting gift of constructive feedback. Let him go repeat the same annoying mistakes to the next girl, then wonder why all his relationships failed. Like others said, when he sends you the him-kissing-another-girl pictures, you know he wants a reaction because he cares what you think, so the best reaction is a yawn and "whatever, hope you guys make each other happy." 3
ScienceGal Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 I would also like to add that there is nothing you can do to make him realize how much he has wronged you. Nothing that will make him feel remorse or truly understand what you're going through. Some people are just douche nozzles. 6
Toodaloo Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 What others said. Or... And I am just saying here... But forwarding his mail for him can be fun. Cancelling his internet can also be fun. Giving his phone number to telemarketers can make you feel better. As is signing him up for things - like sex toy catalogs. Many customer service web pages have a "call back" feature where you can enter his phone number for a late night call. Subscribing him to email newsletters can be fun. Calling an escort to go to his house when his girlfriend is there can be neat. Oh there are so many fun things you can do... Or just ignore him forever! Many years ago I stuck a potato up the exhaust of an exes new car... as well as filling the interior with crickets and wiring a dead fish to the underside... Anyone aware of my fear of fish will understand just how much I must have hated him to go near one even if it was dead... I actually didn't get all that much satisfaction from it so haven't bothered again. What I did get satisfaction from was when I was approached by a chap who started talking to me as though we were bestest ever buddies... I had to ask who he was. He told me his name and I had to ask how I knew him as it didn't ring a bell... Same ex. Second gave me much more satisfaction... Go and live. 1
testmeasure Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 When he does the same thing to the woman in the picture, she may go into a rage, hospitalize him, and end up in jail. He has to live with himself the rest of his life. You're already done. .
Mr. Disposable Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. If you're still feeling lots of anger, you're not over him yet. Sorry. Keep moving forward, full healing and closure will come from within. Good luck! ScienceGal is obviously brilliant. Take what she said here and re-read it to yourself daily. Let this become your mantra for moving forward. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Set yourself on the path to indifference by eliminating any possibility of this POS contacting you. He's a lowlife, but you don't have to worry about that. Speaking from personal experience: cheating and the high that it brings is ultra-temporary. The relationship that comes from that act? Even more transient. Life is unpredictable, but people are unsurprisingly easy to figure out. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. You sound like a great girl. Hold your head up high. You're too good for him anyway! 2
mightycpa Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 As if it would matter to him that you hate him. 1
BC1980 Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 I would also like to add that there is nothing you can do to make him realize how much he has wronged you. Nothing that will make him feel remorse or truly understand what you're going through. Some people are just douche nozzles. ^^^ This is very true, and it's a hard lesson to learn. I think that what most of us really want, deep down, is for our exes to feel the same pain we felt. We want them to suffer to the same degree we did. We think that by sending a letter, hate filled or otherwise, we can somehow make them understand our feelings. It just doesn't work like that though. You can't make anyone else understand how you feel, and you can't make them feel how you feel. 2
carotini Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 (edited) I also want to add that doing things like sending escorts to his house or giving his number to telemarketers is a bad idea. That's like ordering pizzas and sending them to another address. Just creates a lot of work and hassle for innocent people. Those are silly juvenile pranks (messing with his mail and internet is illegal) AND might give him ammunition to file harassment charges against you. You don't need that. Edited February 19, 2016 by carotini
Miss Peach Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 It sounds like he's just trying to get a reaction out of you. The best response is to not engage and live your life well.
carotini Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 OP, how can he send you pics or contact you if you have him blocked? 1
Author 2much4 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 OP, how can he send you pics or contact you if you have him blocked? I didn't have any reason to block him before he sent me those pictures. He's been blocked since then.
Author 2much4 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 OP, how can he send you pics or contact you if you have him blocked? I've been really strict about NC ever since. He's blocked on every single social media and I've changed my routine to avoid him.
Author 2much4 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 Plus, why outline everything he did wrong? Just so, on the off chance he does consider all those points, it will just improve him for the next girl. When I had a bad breakup and I knew it was over for good, I certainly didn't want to give him the parting gift of constructive feedback. Let him go repeat the same annoying mistakes to the next girl, then wonder why all his relationships failed. This is so true! The only one benefiting from feedback is him... this really helped, thank you!
Author 2much4 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 ^^^ This is very true, and it's a hard lesson to learn. I think that what most of us really want, deep down, is for our exes to feel the same pain we felt. We want them to suffer to the same degree we did. We think that by sending a letter, hate filled or otherwise, we can somehow make them understand our feelings. It just doesn't work like that though. You can't make anyone else understand how you feel, and you can't make them feel how you feel. This is exactly what it feels like. I don't actually care what he thinks, or if he knows I hate him, I just want him to feel really guilty about what he did.
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