Should of listened to the Love Shack family? Reboundee

[Redhead14]

Been dating this girl since December 26, she got out of her last relationship which was 3 years December 14th.

 

In between:

 

- beginning of November we talked for a week then she left me for her ex, came back 2 days later.

 

- was talking again for two weeks then she up and left for her ex again, came back a month later. Then we started dating 2 weeks later.

 

We have a lot of sex.

Sometimes she's all happy and hot for me, then somedays she's cold and distance:

She's always showing us off on social media 24/7

We're always together 24/7

 

I've caught her stalking her ex social media account even though she has him blocked.

I've seen her initate contact with him in the past 2 weeks 2 thru a text and 2 times thru voice call.

 

Friends warn me she is on the rebound, I need to be careful because she can leave at any minute.

 

What's the best possible way to go about this should I walk away or try and see where her true feelings are

 

She's "showing you off" on social media as a demonstration/source of validation for her "see, I'm desireable, guys like me, my boyfriend dumped me but I already have a new boyfriend" or if she dumped him, she'd doing it to rub it in his face and make him jealous.

 

She is rebounding. You are a temporary source of comfort. But, more than all this, is the fact that you are allowing yourself to be a doormat. She's gone back to the ex a couple of times and when it doesn't go right, she bounces back to you.

 

It's entirely too soon for her to be trying to date anyone. She will hurt herself and whomever she might date now. She needs a ton of time to process and get over it.

[Daking123]

She's "showing you off" on social media as a demonstration/source of validation for her "see, I'm desireable, guys like me, my boyfriend dumped me but I already have a new boyfriend" or if she dumped him, she'd doing it to rub it in his face and make him jealous.

 

She is rebounding. You are a temporary source of comfort. But, more than all this, is the fact that you are allowing yourself to be a doormat. She's gone back to the ex a couple of times and when it doesn't go right, she bounces back to you.

 

It's entirely too soon for her to be trying to date anyone. She will hurt herself and whomever she might date now. She needs a ton of time to process and get over it.

 

With all the time we're spending together everyday. I think she loves me

[Redhead14]

With all the time we're spending together everyday. I think she loves me

 

I think she loves me -- Well, then, continue to date her until you realize she doesn't . . . It will be a life lesson that could have been learned a better way which is why we assume you came here for advice.

[Arieswoman]

Daking123,

 

 

Dating a female on the rebound possible? - It's always possible.

 

How to proceed - Don't.

 

 

Next.

[scubasteve]

For peak sakes, she doesn't love you. She never will, she's just using the time with you that she had with her ex. You'really about to get heart broken

[Daking123]

For peak sakes, she doesn't love you. She never will, she's just using the time with you that she had with her ex. You'really about to get heart broken

 

 

If she didn't love me, she wouldn't spend 24 hours with me a day, she wouldn't confess her love for me daily, she wouldn't talk about us having a kid together, she wouldn't say we are soulmates if she didn't love me. Girls wouldn't say that if they didn't love you

[mightycpa]

If she didn't love me, she wouldn't spend 24 hours with me a day, she wouldn't confess her love for me daily, she wouldn't talk about us having a kid together, she wouldn't say we are soulmates if she didn't love me. Girls wouldn't say that if they didn't love you

My experience is that they do that **** all the time, and if you've only been together a short time (like less than a year) the more intense it gets, the sooner you're going to dropped. This forum is littered with tales of exactly that.

[Zoe5.5]

Been dating this girl since December 26, she got out of her last relationship which was 3 years December 14th.

 

In between:

 

- beginning of November we talked for a week then she left me for her ex, came back 2 days later.

 

- was talking again for two weeks then she up and left for her ex again, came back a month later. Then we started dating 2 weeks later.

 

We have a lot of sex.

Sometimes she's all happy and hot for me, then somedays she's cold and distance:

She's always showing us off on social media 24/7

We're always together 24/7

 

I've caught her stalking her ex social media account even though she has him blocked.

I've seen her initate contact with him in the past 2 weeks 2 thru a text and 2 times thru voice call.

 

Friends warn me she is on the rebound, I need to be careful because she can leave at any minute.

 

What's the best possible way to go about this should I walk away or try and see where her true feelings are

 

 

 

 

Hello ,

wow it sounds like an emotional rollercoaster . ups and downs, curves , and upside down to right side up. Personally I have been there . But what helped me was the old saying perhaps you may have heard of it?

 

 

" Release the bird and if it is meant to be , the bird will fly back to you ".

 

 

This was the best advice offered to me . Did I in my younger days gain back the girl? No . Why ? It was never meant to be . So what did I do? Picked up the pieces of my life and moved on.

 

 

If I may , in a sense kind of like loosing a loved one to death. The heart is broken , smashed into a million pieces. We mourn and we grieve for as long as it takes. Yet we know we must pick up the broken pieces , put them back together and move on forward with our lives to bigger , brighter, and better .

 

 

I am in no way implying the golden rule do unto others , as you would have them do unto you. I am simply saying sometimes we need to distance ourselves in order to see where a persons heart is. If there be any ounce of love and respect from the lady to you , feelings of loneliness, missing out, and growing closer and the need to be with you will manifest in the ladies heart and then the birdy will fly back to you by way of text, pm on social media, a phone call to meet up somewhere will happen.

 

 

In conclusion , the old saying ," Absence makes the heart grow fonder "; will be found out for you .

 

 

Wishing you all the best and hopes of encouragement in this message.

 

 

Sincerely: someone who cares .

[Zoe5.5]

Been dating this girl since December 26, she got out of her last relationship which was 3 years December 14th.

 

In between:

 

- beginning of November we talked for a week then she left me for her ex, came back 2 days later.

 

- was talking again for two weeks then she up and left for her ex again, came back a month later. Then we started dating 2 weeks later.

 

We have a lot of sex.

Sometimes she's all happy and hot for me, then somedays she's cold and distance:

She's always showing us off on social media 24/7

We're always together 24/7

 

I've caught her stalking her ex social media account even though she has him blocked.

I've seen her initate contact with him in the past 2 weeks 2 thru a text and 2 times thru voice call.

 

Friends warn me she is on the rebound, I need to be careful because she can leave at any minute.

 

What's the best possible way to go about this should I walk away or try and see where her true feelings are

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello ,

wow it sounds like an emotional rollercoaster . ups and downs, curves , and upside down to right side up. Personally I have been there . But what helped me was the old saying perhaps you may have heard of it?

 

 

" Release the bird and if it is meant to be , the bird will fly back to you ".

 

 

This was the best advice offered to me . Did I in my younger days gain back the girl? No . Why ? It was never meant to be . So what did I do? Picked up the pieces of my life and moved on.

 

 

If I may , in a sense kind of like loosing a loved one to death. The heart is broken , smashed into a million pieces. We mourn and we grieve for as long as it takes. Yet we know we must pick up the broken pieces , put them back together and move on forward with our lives to bigger , brighter, and better .

 

 

I am in no way implying the golden rule do unto others , as you would have them do unto you. I am simply saying sometimes we need to distance ourselves in order to see where a persons heart is. If there be any ounce of love and respect from the lady to you , feelings of loneliness, missing out, and growing closer and the need to be with you will manifest in the ladies heart and then the birdy will fly back to you by way of text, pm on social media, a phone call to meet up somewhere will happen.

 

 

In conclusion , the old saying ," Absence makes the heart grow fonder "; will be found out for you .

 

 

Wishing you all the best and hopes of encouragement in this message.

 

 

Sincerely: someone who cares .

[Satu]

The best way to proceed is by not proceeding.

[Been]

She wants to be with her ex but can't.

I dated a woman. She broke up with me to be with her ex who has a drinking problem. A month latter she came back to me. Everything was fine. But everytime the ex boyfriend would reach out to her she would jump at the chance to be with him. I think we broke up THREE times because of him.

And it wouldn't matter what I would do for her-he could call and say he had changed and she would start contacting him. Of course he hadn't changed so lie an idiot i would take her back. And she would do the whole "I didn't know what I had until I wasn't with you anymore" line to me. And I would eat it up.

If you have fun being with her then have fun BUT realize that at the drop of a hat she will leave for her ex. I recommend that honestly you just move on because you risk the chance of getting attached to someone who is just waiting for a chance to be with their ex.

[Daking123]

She wants to be with her ex but can't.

I dated a woman. She broke up with me to be with her ex who has a drinking problem. A month latter she came back to me. Everything was fine. But everytime the ex boyfriend would reach out to her she would jump at the chance to be with him. I think we broke up THREE times because of him.

And it wouldn't matter what I would do for her-he could call and say he had changed and she would start contacting him. Of course he hadn't changed so lie an idiot i would take her back. And she would do the whole "I didn't know what I had until I wasn't with you anymore" line to me. And I would eat it up.

If you have fun being with her then have fun BUT realize that at the drop of a hat she will leave for her ex. I recommend that honestly you just move on because you risk the chance of getting attached to someone who is just waiting for a chance to be with their ex.

 

I know she was the one who reaches out to him everytime, they have a convo. But she says she happier with me than him and wouldn't go back to him by the way he treated her. I'm 100% sure she's here to stay. Why else would she say show me off, call me her soul mate, have sex with me almost every night and stay with me all day and all night

[mightycpa]

I know she was the one who reaches out to him everytime, they have a convo. But she says she happier with me than him and wouldn't go back to him by the way he treated her. I'm 100% sure she's here to stay. Why else would she say show me off, call me her soul mate, have sex with me almost every night and stay with me all day and all night

Because for her, it beats the hell out of being alone in those long stretches between banging the ex. There's nothing quite as confidence killing as being rejected by someone you love. You're like food for her starving ego.

 

Clearly, you are in no mood to be convinced of this, and that's ok. Sometimes you have to experience things for yourself. I'm just wondering why you asked how you should proceed, given that you already know what you're going to do.

[quattrob]

I know she was the one who reaches out to him everytime, they have a convo. But she says she happier with me than him and wouldn't go back to him by the way he treated her. I'm 100% sure she's here to stay. Why else would she say show me off, call me her soul mate, have sex with me almost every night and stay with me all day and all night

 

I don't see why you bother making a post on LS if you are 100% certain about everything (that she loves you and that everything she says is 100% true, her intentions and etc). What is your purpose to make this thread? You described your situation and there are red flags, we just let you know, you don't like it or disagree and you start stating your "facts" such as you're 100% certain she is this and that. So you know her so well right? After just being with her/knowing her for maybe 3 months? You're naïve to think and believe everything people say after only 3 months. If you are so sure she loves you wouldn't need to try to convince others to believe that. Your friend warned you as well but you seem to refuse to believe it.

 

 

Anyways people here have given you their thoughts and advices, it doesn't seem like you agree at all. If you're looking for advices that you only want to hear, then good luck with that.

Edited February 11, 2016 by quattrob

[renny]

Been dating this girl since December 26, she got out of her last relationship which was 3 years December 14th.

 

In between:

 

- beginning of November we talked for a week then she left me for her ex, came back 2 days later.

 

- was talking again for two weeks then she up and left for her ex again, came back a month later. Then we started dating 2 weeks later.

 

We have a lot of sex.

Sometimes she's all happy and hot for me, then somedays she's cold and distance:

She's always showing us off on social media 24/7

We're always together 24/7

 

I've caught her stalking her ex social media account even though she has him blocked.

I've seen her initate contact with him in the past 2 weeks 2 thru a text and 2 times thru voice call.

 

Friends warn me she is on the rebound, I need to be careful because she can leave at any minute.

 

What's the best possible way to go about this should I walk away or try and see where her true feelings are

 

WALK AWAY.

 

If you're looking for just some hot sex, go for it. But if you're looking for something real, women on the rebound are the worst to try to date. Give you an example of my current situation. Me and the ex of 6 years split for about a month or so. She swore up and down that she was happy with this guy she was dating. I contacted her, we talked, and went out of town for the weekend to see if there was anything left to salvage. We ended up having a great time, good sex, etc. Upon returning, she text the rebound guy and told him it was over, dropped him like a hot potato. I was sitting there watching her kick him to the curb. He didn't take it very well because he really liked my ex, wanted to make her his, and make plans for them.

 

Up until about a few days before I showed back up on the scene, she was really leading this guy and herself into believing that that they had something that they really didn't. Beacuse of how suddenly she dropped this guy, I actually felt sorry for him, because I know it hurt him. Bottom line man, if your heart is getting into this, back away, find someone single and without baggage. You'll be much better off in the end.

[Blanco]

You've gotten plenty of good advice here, but it's not what you're wanting to hear or accept at this point. That's fine. Most of us need to learn things the hard way, especially when those warm and fuzzy feelings accompanying romance are involved.

 

What you should do, for your benefit, is to pay attention to her actions and not necessarily her words. You don't sound like you're able to be at all objective yet. Again, that's fine. Few of us would be if we were dropped into your shoes. However, for your own well being, do try to look at what she's saying and what she's doing. She's saying the right things, but how much weight do those words have when her actions imply otherwise? If she really thought you were her soul mate; that she was so in love with you, and all that, then she wouldn't feel the need to stalk her ex's social media, and she definitely wouldn't feel the need to contact him.

 

It sounds like you'll proceed as you would with or without the advice given to you here. Just know that this girl is very likely still not done with this guy, even if it's simply limited to emotionally healing from the demise of their relationship. History shows that while you could be the exception to the rule, you are more than likely primed to be collateral damage in this girl's healing process.

[Been]

She contacts him why?

She's already left you once for him.

Mine?Here are so famous quotes from her when we were dating:

1.Im with her and her friends. She tells ALL of her friends I'm everything she ever wanted in a man and she didn't realize it till she broke up with me for him.

2.NOBODY has ever done as much for her as I have.

3.She wants to MARRY me.

4.She thanks GOD for putting me in her life.

5.Shes never been attracted to a man this much.

 

All that said and she still left for her ex.

The other poster hit the nail on the head-it's better to be with someone then being alone. And I'd bet money she's the type that HAS to have a man in her life.

Watch how fast she drops you.

You really want to find out?Tell her your not cool with her contacting her ex and you want her to block the number.

[Simon Phoenix]

If she didn't love me, she wouldn't spend 24 hours with me a day

 

This here is a huge red flag, maybe the reddest flag of the bunch. It's way too much way too soon and is indicative of a person looking to avoid the pain of their breakup than anything else. Healthy relationships start slowly and build up to spending that much time together. This one is burning too hot too fast and is going to run out of fuel soon.

[Daking123]

I understand, everybody point of view. I believe she's a keeper, so I'm going to proceed in loving her

[Been]

You do what you want and I wish you luck.

But answer me one question:why does she still contact him and why are you ok with that?

[Simon Phoenix]

I understand, everybody point of view. I believe she's a keeper, so I'm going to proceed in loving her

 

Why exactly did you start a thread?

[fireflywy]

*Opens door and walks quietly in before the stunned audience.*

 

*Sets this down with a few shuffling noises.*

 

https://youtu.be/vYyx3CBSO_0

 

*Salutes Darking123 and then walks back out to stunned silence.

[Daking123]

You do what you want and I wish you luck.

But answer me one question:why does she still contact him and why are you ok with that?

 

 

 

 

One of her friends at work saw a picture of them two together and was asking about him

[Daking123]

*Opens door and walks quietly in before the stunned audience.*

 

*Sets this down with a few shuffling noises.*

 

https://youtu.be/vYyx3CBSO_0

 

*Salutes Darking123 and then walks back out to stunned silence.

 

I'm going to laugh, because I know she's that type of person. If a person can spend all day with, spend the night with you, call you soulmate, want a kid with you. That's shows how much love the person has for you.

[elaine567]

I'm going to laugh, because I know she's that type of person. If a person can spend all day with, spend the night with you, call you soulmate, want a kid with you. That's shows how much love the person has for you.

 

Not really.

She lost her other half and merely placed you in the place he used to occupy. One day she will realise you are NOT her ex, and just some bloke she hardly knows and she will break up with you.

That is how rebounds work, the grieving person substitutes someone they meet, for their ex.

For the person chosen, it is all wonderful, all so familiar so quickly, so comfortable, they fit into the slot so well, it all goes so smoothly. There is little awkwardness, here is a person who appears to love and adore them unconditionally.

BUT it is NOT real, and it thus falls apart, leaving both devastated. One because they lost someone who appeared to be their soulmate, and the other is left grieving for their original ex.