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What do you do when an ex-whatever asks you to borrow some money?

iphone_user1

By iphone_user1
in General Relationship Discussion

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iphone_user1 Established Member

iphone_user1

Posted
Posted

- Met a girl 6 months ago

- Next month she becomes a casual dating partner.

- Two months later she pulls away in order to chase a serious relationship with another guy.

- We would text once in a while for the next two months.

- Then no contact for the next 4 weeks and in the end she contacts me out of the blue.

- Text like half an hour and I finish the convo.

- Three hours later she wants to borrow 60 bucks. She doesn't say what it is for.

- For real, I was NOT expecting that kind of bs, seriously? LOL

- I text back "Sorry, I don't have it"

 

Did I do right thing? Or would I have looked like a guy she can use whenever she wants? I mean, it's not an emergency since she didn't explain why she needed to borrow some money. So I was like "Dude, you have a family, a lot of friends living nearby and a boyfriend... Why in the hell asking me!?". Maybe she thaught I was still desperate for her and was gonna run after just to see her LOL. Freeloader-mooch when convenient?

 

What do you people do if and ex-whatever asks to borrow some money?

  • Like 1
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

They are EXs. I ignore them.

 

 

Loaning money is tricky business. If you have it to gift & don't need it back, loan away. If it's serious money, draw up papers & have them signed & notarized.

 

 

FWIW, I think you would be a fool to loan a flighty chick like her $$.

  • Like 4
Mrs. John Adams Established Member

Mrs. John Adams

Posted
Posted

Easy... You say nope ... No way.. No how

  • Like 2
WaitingForBardot Established Member

WaitingForBardot

Posted
Posted

You say no.

 

From Shakespeare (Hamlet): "Neither a borrower nor lender be..."

  • Like 3
losangelena Established Member

losangelena

Posted
Posted

I never had an ex ask to borrow money. Who would do that??

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iphone_user1 Established Member

iphone_user1

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I never had an ex ask to borrow money. Who would do that??

 

Haha I know. I was NOT expecting that at all!

  • Like 1
DivorcedDad123 Established Member

DivorcedDad123

Posted
Posted

I never had an ex ask to borrow money. Who would do that??

 

 

Not only does my ex wife ask for money,she asked to move in with me. Of course,I'd pay all of the bills and still pay child support,but lucky me! She'd grace me with her presence! I told her the kids could move in, but she'd need to find other arrangements. (Bleck!)


  • Like 4
jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

Posted
Posted

I've never had an ex ask for $ either. And yes, you did the right thing. In fact I think I would have just said no and left out the "don't have it" explanation.

  • Like 4
preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

Unless it's a life or death situation, say no to lending to friends in general. It usually ends up with you being the avoided one they resent.

  • Like 3
strawberryshortstack Established Member

strawberryshortstack

Posted
Posted
I never had an ex ask to borrow money. Who would do that??

 

Depends on how close they were in the relationship, and how close they remained after ending the relationship. I have borrowed (and repaid) money from one of my exes, because we dated for two years, and are still friends nearly three years after the breakup. He knew I was good for it.

 

In the OP's case, however...this would be a very bad idea.

  • Like 1
dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

Posted
Posted

Someone like that?

 

Oh Hell no.

 

Had a user ex-friend like that.

 

Once you loan them $20, they think you are an ATM.

mikeylo Established Member

mikeylo

Posted
Posted

Say no and next time ignore completely.

  • Like 2
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iphone_user1 Established Member

iphone_user1

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Someone like that?

 

Oh Hell no.

 

Had a user ex-friend like that.

 

Once you loan them $20, they think you are an ATM.

 

Yes, this time was 60. Then it's gonna be 100, then 500 and years later it may be 1000 or more!

  • Like 1
loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

Posted
Posted

I would laugh soooooo hard, as I am right now reading this and putting myself in your shoes. :lmao::lmao:

 

Then I'd tell her to borrow it from "Mr Serious Relationship."

 

:lmao::D:laugh:

  • Like 1
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted

Depending on how much, give it to them....

 

Inevitably they won't pay back.

 

Now you will have rid yourself of that person for good...They wont ever call you or ask you for anything....ever....Perfect...

 

For a measly few dollars....what a deal..:)

 

TFY

  • Like 3
mrs rubble Established Member

mrs rubble

Posted
Posted
Depending on how much, give it to them....

 

Inevitably they won't pay back.

 

Now you will have rid yourself of that person for good...They wont ever call you or ask you for anything....ever....Perfect...

 

For a measly few dollars....what a deal..:)

 

TFY

 

What I was going to say. I've done this, best $40 I ever lent/spent!

  • Like 1
Wewon Established Member

Wewon

Posted
Posted

Now see, this would be a perfect time to send her back and interesting and engaging text as you say no.

  • Like 1
Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted (edited)
- Met a girl 6 months ago

- Next month she becomes a casual dating partner.

- Two months later she pulls away in order to chase a serious relationship with another guy.

- We would text once in a while for the next two months.

- Then no contact for the next 4 weeks and in the end she contacts me out of the blue.

- Text like half an hour and I finish the convo.

- Three hours later she wants to borrow 60 bucks. She doesn't say what it is for.

- For real, I was NOT expecting that kind of bs, seriously? LOL

- I text back "Sorry, I don't have it"

 

Did I do right thing? Or would I have looked like a guy she can use whenever she wants? I mean, it's not an emergency since she didn't explain why she needed to borrow some money. So I was like "Dude, you have a family, a lot of friends living nearby and a boyfriend... Why in the hell asking me!?". Maybe she thaught I was still desperate for her and was gonna run after just to see her LOL. Freeloader-mooch when convenient?

 

What do you people do if and ex-whatever asks to borrow some money?

 

She exhausted all her other possibilities. She lead you down the garden path, so to speak, by opening a dialog, hoping to strum your heart strings -- sets it up. Sees that you're "still there". Goes away for 3 hours and then drops the "bomb". Classic manipulation tactic. She's good . . . at least she thinks she is. You did the right thing :)

 

For the record, an ex would not be able to contact me for any reason because I've implemented no contact and stuck to it.

Edited by Redhead14
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iphone_user1 Established Member

iphone_user1

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
She exhausted all her other possibilities. She lead you down the garden path, so to speak, by opening a dialog, hoping to strum your heart strings -- sets it up. Sees that you're "still there". Goes away for 3 hours and then drops the "bomb". Classic manipulation tactic. She's good . . . at least she thinks she is. You did the right thing :)

 

For the record, an ex would not be able to contact me for any reason because I've implemented no contact and stuck to it.

 

But the bomb didn't go off Hahaha

 

And yes, she's good at it. She used to play the victim when I would say NO and go crazy mad when I didn't talk to her for a day, like acting really into me. Oh, and she's pretty hot, she gets attention wherever, whenever and from whoever she wants. She can jumo from one guy to another in a second. She's got a whole record of ex-s. She dumps them after a few months. I was aware of all this thanks to a friend in common, so I knew what to do. That's why I never got into something serious, it would've been hell.

 

What other classic manipulation tactics should I be aware of, Redhead14?

 

Thanks

Edited by iphone_user1
  • Like 1
craw Established Member

craw

Posted
Posted

You did the right thing.

  • Like 2
veggirl Established Member

veggirl

Posted
Posted

I would just say no. No explanation whatsoever. "No".

  • Like 3
WaitingForBardot Established Member

WaitingForBardot

Posted
Posted
I would just say no. No explanation whatsoever. "No".

Bolded for emphasis.

  • Like 1
MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted
- Met a girl 6 months ago

- Next month she becomes a casual dating partner.

- Two months later she pulls away in order to chase a serious relationship with another guy.

- We would text once in a while for the next two months.

- Then no contact for the next 4 weeks and in the end she contacts me out of the blue.

- Text like half an hour and I finish the convo.

- Three hours later she wants to borrow 60 bucks. She doesn't say what it is for.

- For real, I was NOT expecting that kind of bs, seriously? LOL

- I text back "Sorry, I don't have it"

 

Did I do right thing? Or would I have looked like a guy she can use whenever she wants? I mean, it's not an emergency since she didn't explain why she needed to borrow some money. So I was like "Dude, you have a family, a lot of friends living nearby and a boyfriend... Why in the hell asking me!?". Maybe she thaught I was still desperate for her and was gonna run after just to see her LOL. Freeloader-mooch when convenient?

 

What do you people do if and ex-whatever asks to borrow some money?

 

This has never happened to me.

 

If we were on good terms and they needed it for something important and I actually had it and trusted they'd give it back, maybe.

 

But if I dated a guy briefly, he left me for someone else, has a new gf, and texted me for $60 I would laugh and then ignore it.

  • Author
iphone_user1 Established Member

iphone_user1

Posted
  • Author
Posted
This has never happened to me.

 

If we were on good terms and they needed it for something important and I actually had it and trusted they'd give it back, maybe.

 

But if I dated a guy briefly, he left me for someone else, has a new gf, and texted me for $60 I would laugh and then ignore it.

 

We are on good terms. She's fun, but seems very manipulative eventhough I can handle her bs. We just were casually dating, nothing serious. I knew this had an expiration date, so I didn't really mind when she left.

 

The thing is she did a manipulative maneuver in order to get me to do something LOL Not a good way to do it, and it was not an emergency. She may be fun, cool, good sexual partner, but I am NOT taking any kind of bs from her.

Zapbasket Established Member

Zapbasket

Posted
Posted (edited)
Unless it's a life or death situation, say no to lending to friends in general. It usually ends up with you being the avoided one they resent.

 

This. To continue with what Shakespeare said as the whole of it applies to your situation:

 

"Neither a borrower, nor a lender be,

For loan oft loses both itself and friend.

And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

This above all: to thine own self be true;

Thou canst not then be false to any man."

Edited by GreenCove
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