Gabi Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Me and my girlfriend are renting an apartment and so are moving in together for almost 1 year from now(Not decided what about 1 year hence). Sorry if this question sounds stupid but I am worried about getting my girlfriend pregnant as i have read stories where the condom failed in 5% cases. We have had sex before when we were for 2 weeks holiday for almost 20 times and nothing happened thankfuly but now since we will be all over each other after moving in, i am just wondering how to be totally safe. I know i will use condoms most of the times. She doesnt like the idea of being on Pill(While using condom as well) as she thinks that might hurt her body? We both are almost 25 now Thanks
soleilesquire Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 If you are worried about condoms and she won't take the pill, I would ask her to consider a diaphragm of something as a backup to condoms. IMO, birth control is the responsibility of BOTH partners. 4
PegNosePete Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 I know i will use condoms most of the times Most of the times?? Where did you get 5% from? It's usually quoted as 98% effective. If your brand only quotes 95% then you might want to try a different brand! I don't even see how 98% effectiveness can be realistic. That should mean 1 in 50 results in a pregnancy. I'm not sure how many times I've had sex but I've been in relationships for 10 years; averaging once per week, I should have at least 10 kids by now. I have zero. If you really want to double up your protection then you can always try something else, if she doesn't like the pill there are other options, just google it or speak to a doctor. 1
stillafool Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 She doesnt like the idea of being on Pill(While using condom as well) as she thinks that might hurt her body? Lucky for you two there are hundreds of options for birth control so she has to talk to her doctor about using the one that is best for her. It is both of your responsibilities to make sure you are protected. Yes, definitely use condoms ALL THE TIME and don't have sex with her until she gets some form of birth control. She should be working on that right now. 4
BlueIris Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Definitely always use condoms. I understand her not wanting to take the pill. A non-chemical IUD seems the least risky to her long term health, IMO. Be sure she doesn’t take depo provera. The bone loss can be dangerous. My 24 year old’s leg bones in one leg (tibia and fibula) snapped when she got out of bed one night. She has a titanium rod now. Her gynecologist said she's seen several bone breaks in young women on Depo. No depo!
Toodaloo Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 I don't even see how 98% effectiveness can be realistic. That should mean 1 in 50 results in a pregnancy. I'm not sure how many times I've had sex but I've been in relationships for 10 years; averaging once per week, I should have at least 10 kids by now. I have zero. Only 10 kids? Your slacking Pete... Never been pregnant and used condoms as my ONLY form of birth control for years and years and years... If you have one split then you nip to the doctor explain and there is a handy pill you can take to be sure. Only had to do that once. You want to be sure then make sure you have a good relationship before you start sleeping with her. Keep it honest, informed and consensual. 4
Miss Peach Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 I understand her reluctance to go on hormonal bc. It messes with my body so I won't do it again. But there are some backup methods. I haven't had any issues with just condoms though.
PogoStick Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Yeah the IUD is a great option in my opinion. Very effective, and little to no hormonal effects. What's your agreement regarding abortion if pregnancy does happen? 2
feb87 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Gabi, you are not irrational for worrying about pregnancy. Only 2 out of every 100 people who use condoms perfectly and regularly will end up pregnant. However, it's important not to dismiss that number as it can feel like a lot more than 2 if she ends up being one of them. During typical condom use, the number is closer to around 15. I think most of us are more likely to be typical and not perfect condom users. There are many birth control options, and I encourage you to be on the same page. Know her ovulation cycle, work around it, so that you can reduce risk of pregnancy further. Talk to her, because we can give you all the advice in the world but none of it matters if she doesn't know it's an issue. 1
smackie9 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 You are right condoms are not 100%, you are supposed to use a spermicidal cream or foam or a contraceptive sponge for extra protection. The foam is a little messy but the cheapest option to use with a condom......cheaper than having a baby.
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 PegNosePete, that's not what 98% reliable means. It means that in any given year, out of 100 women using condoms religiously, 2 will fall pregnant. Not out of 100 sexual encounters, 2 will result in a pregnancy. I don't know how that figure tallies with other forms such as the morning after pill though, as usually when a condom fails you know it has broken so can take action immediately to avoid pregnancy by using the morning after pill. Condoms are very reliable and OP, you shouldn't be having sex without one if your gf isn't going to take some responsibility towards her own contraception. 2
elaine567 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 That is one of the reasons that "moving in" together is a big step, and should be considered very carefully, before you jump right in. Pregnancy can be a complication and with the best of intentions can occur reasonably easily, if you do not take contraception very seriously. If you "live together", then I doubt your gf will be very interested in aborting any "mistakes" either, so remember that too. 1
smackie9 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 I agree there should be a discussion about "what if it happens" so that everyone is clear and on board with whatever decision is made. 1
Eighty_nine Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Me and my girlfriend are renting an apartment and so are moving in together for almost 1 year from now(Not decided what about 1 year hence). Sorry if this question sounds stupid but I am worried about getting my girlfriend pregnant as i have read stories where the condom failed in 5% cases. We have had sex before when we were for 2 weeks holiday for almost 20 times and nothing happened thankfuly but now since we will be all over each other after moving in, i am just wondering how to be totally safe. I know i will use condoms most of the times. She doesnt like the idea of being on Pill(While using condom as well) as she thinks that might hurt her body? We both are almost 25 now Thanks I don't like the pill either. I will never use hormonal birth control. So respect her opinion on that. Condoms are very effective when used properly. Accidents usually happen because they weren't used properly. to be extra careful, you can figure out around when she ovulates (about two weeks after the first day of her period, or a little longer if her cycle is longer) and avoid having sex for that week. obviously, always use condoms no matter when in the month it is. Frankly, the pull out method has worked for me for years. But since you are so worried about getting her pregnant, I'd used condoms.
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 You are right condoms are not 100%, you are supposed to use a spermicidal cream or foam or a contraceptive sponge for extra protection. The foam is a little messy but the cheapest option to use with a condom......cheaper than having a baby. Running for President is cheaper than having a baby.
ChickiePops Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Wait, can you clarify something? You said your gf doesn't like using the pill at the same time as using condoms because she thinks it will hurt her? Because you know that's not even remotely true right? Condoms don't have any hormonal effect on anyone's body... 1
Gaeta Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Use condoms 100% of the time. That would be a start. As for her she can use diaphragm, contraceptive sponge, IUD. If she doesn't want to use any of these than she can keep track of her cycle on a calendar and not have sex during her fertile days.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 As others here are saying, there are plenty of alternatives to the Pill. She should speak with her doctor and see which ones would be best for her. Also, find out what her concern about condoms is. Unless she has a latex allergy, it is unlikely to hurt her in any way. Use a condom 100% of the time unless and until the two of you start using a back-up method of birth control. Discuss what you would do in the event of an unplanned pregnancy. 1
Shining One Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 What's your agreement regarding abortion if pregnancy does happen?I agree there should be a discussion about "what if it happens" so that everyone is clear and on board with whatever decision is made.Discuss what you would do in the event of an unplanned pregnancy.Even if she says she is "pro abortion" in case of an accident, do not stop using your own contraceptive methods. As several ladies on this forum have pointed out to me, it's easy for her to agree to it now, but she can just as easily change her mind when an accident happens. At that point in time, all of your decision-making power is gone. 1
Author Gabi Posted February 19, 2016 Author Posted February 19, 2016 Thanks for so many replies. I appreciate it Well we both are totally ok with using condom, however i suggested we do Condom+Pill to be super safe but she is unsure about it since there are lots of side effects to it(She doesnt have much knowledge about it yet, maybe just few misconceptions) I never heard about sponge, IUD. Will check them out. Can anyone tell me in brief what is exactly done in those? Regarding "what if it happens". Yes she has said she wont abort obviously since its illegal in her country and she doesnt want to do that since it will hurt the body in long term future So i guess i will just go with condom and keep using the brand i was using before(Durex).
whichwayisup Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 Me and my girlfriend are renting an apartment and so are moving in together for almost 1 year from now(Not decided what about 1 year hence). Sorry if this question sounds stupid but I am worried about getting my girlfriend pregnant as i have read stories where the condom failed in 5% cases. We have had sex before when we were for 2 weeks holiday for almost 20 times and nothing happened thankfuly but now since we will be all over each other after moving in, i am just wondering how to be totally safe. I know i will use condoms most of the times. She doesnt like the idea of being on Pill(While using condom as well) as she thinks that might hurt her body? We both are almost 25 now Thanks Use condoms and always pull out when you're close to cumming. Don't cum inside of her in case the condom rips or has a hole in it.
Gaeta Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 Thanks for so many replies. I appreciate it Well we both are totally ok with using condom, however i suggested we do Condom+Pill to be super safe but she is unsure about it since there are lots of side effects to it(She doesnt have much knowledge about it yet, maybe just few misconceptions) I never heard about sponge, IUD. Will check them out. Can anyone tell me in brief what is exactly done in those? Regarding "what if it happens". Yes she has said she wont abort obviously since its illegal in her country and she doesnt want to do that since it will hurt the body in long term future So i guess i will just go with condom and keep using the brand i was using before(Durex). Here is the sponge. It's effective 90% on it's own. It's meant to be used with an additional method like condoms. If you use condoms and the sponge together you have a good cover. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/birth-control-sponge-today-sponge http://www.todaysponge.com/effectiveness.html The IUD needs to be inserted in the uterus by a gynecologist. It prevents pregnancy in different ways. It contains a little bit of hormones that will thicken the cervical so make it hard for sperm to cross that bearer. It will also prevent an egg to implant in the uterus if ever there is conception. I doubt a doctor would prescribe an IUD to a woman that never had children. Mirena® IUD | Home Page | Official Website
LookAtThisPOst Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 Surprised no one mentioned the word vasectomy.
Gaeta Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 Surprised no one mentioned the word vasectomy. Vasectomy is a surgery to terminate fertility in men. He's 25 years old. I doubt he wants a permanent solution. 2
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