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Second Option?


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Posted

I've been speaking to this girl for a couple of months, we've kissed a few times and she told me she likes me and me the same. She lives away but is back home for the weekend, we had plans to go out tonight for our first real date. She is now telling me her friends are also out and she wants to try and do both.

 

I personally think this is a bit out of order if she does this? We had plans and she should follow them through right? It's making me feel like a second option. She has only just told me this today also, and we're supposed to be going out this evening. What do you guys think?

Posted

If she's been away, she probably wants to see both you and her friends. I don't think you have much choice except to be gracious, unless you cancel the date and look for a new gf.

 

 

How she interacts with you if you do go will tell you how interested she is in you. If she mostly ignores you, then you aren't important - of course, it's early days so you aren't yet going to be a high priority until she decides you're worth it. You can always chat up one of her girlfriends if she's ignoring you. Maybe one of them is a better match.

 

 

I would go along, try to interact in a positive way, but if she does ignore you, I'd suggest you tell her to enjoy her friends and to call you if she wants to see you again - and leave. Then don't contact her again until she does. However, maybe it will work out well - and that partly depends on how you behave.

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Posted
If she's been away, she probably wants to see both you and her friends. I don't think you have much choice except to be gracious, unless you cancel the date and look for a new gf.

 

 

How she interacts with you if you do go will tell you how interested she is in you. If she mostly ignores you, then you aren't important - of course, it's early days so you aren't yet going to be a high priority until she decides you're worth it. You can always chat up one of her girlfriends if she's ignoring you. Maybe one of them is a better match.

 

 

I would go along, try to interact in a positive way, but if she does ignore you, I'd suggest you tell her to enjoy her friends and to call you if she wants to see you again - and leave. Then don't contact her again until she does. However, maybe it will work out well - and that partly depends on how you behave.

 

Well I agree but she has until Sunday to see her friends, we had this planned for a while and now I'm being told today she's also seeing her friends.

 

I'm just of the opinion if someone likes you they will make time for you, they'll follow up on their plans and do so, not juggle between two last minute

Posted

If she seldom gets the chance to see her friends then it's understandable that she chooses them over someone she's just met, as you said this will be your "first real date".

 

However it's pretty out of order to blow you off at the last minute like that. Did she suggest another date, or apologise, or promise to make it up to you? Or just cancel?

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Posted
If she seldom gets the chance to see her friends then it's understandable that she chooses them over someone she's just met, as you said this will be your "first real date".

 

However it's pretty out of order to blow you off at the last minute like that. Did she suggest another date, or apologise, or promise to make it up to you? Or just cancel?

 

she's claiming she will 'sort something' but I live in a small town and everywhere closes at 11pm, plus I have work tomorrow she knows this. Not sure how she can drink with both of us.

Posted

Right, I'd just wait to see what she "sort"s then. Whether it's something tonight or another time, the ball is in her court.

 

Don't be too available, but don't be too negative out of spite or revenge if she's trying to make it work.

  • Author
Posted
Right, I'd just wait to see what she "sort"s then. Whether it's something tonight or another time, the ball is in her court.

 

Don't be too available, but don't be too negative out of spite or revenge if she's trying to make it work.

 

Yeah I agree, can always accept or decline. i just said its a bit short notice

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Posted

Okay so I text to see what is happening and im told shes only seeing her friends and can't get out of it. This is like the 4th time she has flaked now so I went a bit angry lol. Told her she's wasted two months of my time etc etc...

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