Ex msgs me after 2 wks of NC- what now?

[Magnet]

Quick question for you guys, wanted to get a second opinion.

 

Recently I started dating this girl, we met about 6 or 7 times and we slept together twice over a 3 month period, also we texted for hours everyday, getting pretty intense at times.

 

I really liked her a lot and started falling in love but towards the end I became too needy and clingy and overreacted a few times. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship and I said I would have to walk away, she said yes. So I did.

 

So we broke up, "mutually" but I was more sad about it. We had a nice civil last conversation, and wished each other the best - after which I blocked her on Facebook and deleted her number.

 

Fast forward 2 weeks of total silence and working through my pain and using my experience to move forward.

 

Then she texts me asking if I'd blocked her on Facebook.

I don't reply.

She says "Ok well never mind..."

I don't reply.

Two days later she says

"Listen, listen, listen"

"I don't understand why there was a need to blank me the other night, we left it all in a good place. Quite a good place actually. You're making it awkward"

I'm torn between blocking her forever, holding my silence, or replying or what. I really don't know what to say.

 

If I did say something it would be:

 

"We didn't leave it in 'a quite good place'...we ended it.

I don't really have anything more to say.

Like u said, take care and see u around. "

 

On the other hand, I feel that the only thing that she cares is that I'm not talking to her anymore. She just wants to know I still hold a candle for her or whatever?

 

:-/

[Satu]

I think that reply is perfect if you aren't hoping for reconciliation.

 

Are you?

[Magnet]

I think that reply is perfect if you aren't hoping for reconciliation.

 

Are you?

 

Well suppose I was?

 

I still have feelings for her and I do miss talking to her of course.

But getting back together wouldn't fix what caused us to break up in the first place. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship and I pushed her too much and acted insecure.

[266696687]

Quick question for you guys, wanted to get a second opinion.

 

Recently I started dating this girl, we met about 6 or 7 times and we slept together twice over a 3 month period, also we texted for hours everyday, getting pretty intense at times.

 

I really liked her a lot and started falling in love but towards the end I became too needy and clingy and overreacted a few times. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship and I said I would have to walk away, she said yes. So I did.

 

So we broke up, "mutually" but I was more sad about it. We had a nice civil last conversation, and wished each other the best - after which I blocked her on Facebook and deleted her number.

 

Fast forward 2 weeks of total silence and working through my pain and using my experience to move forward.

 

Then she texts me asking if I'd blocked her on Facebook.

I don't reply.

She says "Ok well never mind..."

I don't reply.

Two days later she says

"Listen, listen, listen"

"I don't understand why there was a need to blank me the other night, we left it all in a good place. Quite a good place actually. You're making it awkward"

I'm torn between blocking her forever, holding my silence, or replying or what. I really don't know what to say.

 

If I did say something it would be:

 

"We didn't leave it in 'a quite good place'...we ended it.

I don't really have anything more to say.

Like u said, take care and see u around. "

 

On the other hand, I feel that the only thing that she cares is that I'm not talking to her anymore. She just wants to know I still hold a candle for her or whatever?

 

:-/

 

I agree I think you should reply with exactly what you put above. It's clear and closes the door. i would think she's reaching out purely to see if you are still interested in her or if she can get some attention from you. It doesn't sound like she is looking for reconciliation at all so don't entertain her breadcrumbs.

 

Reply and be done with it

[theredpill]

You're right, it's not even close to a nice place if she broke up with you, lets be honest it wasn't a mutual decision - she quit and you wanted to continue, if you didn't you wouldn't have posted a question about it.

 

 

If she ever contacts you again, I'd just tell her the above ^^ and you're not interested in any kind of platonic friendship - she's either in or she's out, and if she's out you wish her well and keep to no contact, don't ever reach out again, but don't be a dick about it either.

 

 

The only time you should take someone back is when they're banging your door down asking for another chance and that's what you want.

[266696687]

Well suppose I was?

 

I still have feelings for her and I do miss talking to her of course.

But getting back together wouldn't fix what caused us to break up in the first place. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship and I pushed her too much and acted insecure.

 

If you entertain her breadcrumbs you'll get burned. Be strong send your message if she wants you back she'll let you know clearly.

 

Showing you have self respect by replying as you detailed out above puts you in the best position. It shows you won't be strung along and have made a clear decision to move on. She'll have more respect for you in the long run. If you give in be friendly and chit chat with her in the hopes of reconciling she'll string you along and hurt you again. She'll also believe that no matter how she behaves you will be there patiently waiting for another shot with her.

 

Unless she says she wants back in the relationship stand your ground and hold on to your self respect.

 

Let her go.

[Brando]

It was 3 months...you met 6 times and had sex twice.

 

Sorry I don't consider that a relationship. I consider it dating.

 

So play the game. Don't act needy. I think it's less of a breakup and more of a you acted needy, she got turned off by it and decided not to progress any further, so "let's stop seeing each other."

 

I say stop being needy and don't care so much. Date her if you want and date other girls.

 

If you want to "reconcile." Tell her sorry you didn't get back to her, you were busy, ask if she wants to come over this weekend and see what she says. If she say no then forget about her...if she says yes then hang with her and see where it goes. Don't get invested so early. See other woman too. Just my opinion....

[Zahara]

Your ex likely isn't emotionally invested as you are therefore, she doesn't understand your need to cut her off that way but in your case, seeing that she affects you and that you're more invested than she is, it is the right thing for you to do.

 

It doesn't seem like she is interested in reconciling but is just wondering why you've been drastic.

 

Send your message and move on.

[Magnet]

Yes guys you're right... Thanks for taking the time to respond.

 

I felt that way deep down and I think I've heard enough.

 

I've sent the reply now. Door's closed now. It will take a Jack Nicholson and some more to break through it now.

 

Next. :-|

[Magnet]

It was 3 months...you met 6 times and had sex twice.

 

Sorry I don't consider that a relationship. I consider it dating.

 

So play the game. Don't act needy. I think it's less of a breakup and more of a you acted needy, she got turned off by it and decided not to progress any further, so "let's stop seeing each other."

 

I say stop being needy and don't care so much. Date her if you want and date other girls.

 

If you want to "reconcile." Tell her sorry you didn't get back to her, you were busy, ask if she wants to come over this weekend and see what she says. If she say no then forget about her...if she says yes then hang with her and see where it goes. Don't get invested so early. See other woman too. Just my opinion....

 

Good advice, I'll learn from it in the future.

[Zahara]

Yes guys you're right... Thanks for taking the time to respond.

 

I felt that way deep down and I think I've heard enough.

 

I've sent the reply now. Door's closed now. It will take a Jack Nicholson and some more to break through it now.

 

Next. :-|

 

It's going to be fine. You're lucky you didn't invest more time in her because that would have caused you more hurt. While painful, it's really a blessing. Just stay focused on moving forward.

[Magnet]

She responded almost immediately saying that we did leave it in a good place and I'm apparently a jackass for going cold on her like we ended it badly or whatever.

 

I said I had a right to move on and that I didn't really fancy seeing her pictures on Facebook or talk to her.

 

Then she said "well there you go then that is all. " and looks like she's blocked me now.

 

Feel really mad now!!

[Zahara]

She responded almost immediately saying that we did leave it in a good place and I'm apparently a jackass for going cold on her like we ended it badly or whatever.

 

I said I had a right to move on and that I didn't really fancy seeing her pictures on Facebook or talk to her.

 

Then she said "well there you go then that is all. " and looks like she's blocked me now.

 

Feel really mad now!!

 

Unfortunately, she can't see your position because her ego is bruised. She's too immature to understand why you had to do what you did. You're really better off.

 

Let her block you. If anything it further helps you to move forward.

[266696687]

She responded almost immediately saying that we did leave it in a good place and I'm apparently a jackass for going cold on her like we ended it badly or whatever.

 

I said I had a right to move on and that I didn't really fancy seeing her pictures on Facebook or talk to her.

 

Then she said "well there you go then that is all. " and looks like she's blocked me now.

 

Feel really mad now!!

 

Don't be mad. You totally did the right thing for you.

 

Let it go! You explained your position clearly and without being direspectful to her. You cannot control her reaction. She's just bruised as Zahara has stated above and is trying to provoke you.

 

Well done! You should be proud of yourself for how you handled the situation. Difficult yes but you got through it.

[theredpill]

She's probably done this to other guys and they'll all offer friendship like little puppies, hoping (big mistake) that she'll just reconsider further down the road and realise that they're great after all, babies, picket fences etc.

 

 

In her head as a strong woman, she'll be thinking wow these guys won't even stand up for themselves, they're never getting in my pants again.

 

 

It's amazing women like this that you screw up with that'll make you a better man and a better prospect in the future, for the next great love of your life.

 

 

You did good mister, she may hate you now - she'll have tons more respect for you by the time she forgives you in the year 3968AD