Am I jealous of his kids ?

[Reysa09]

I've been with my boyfriend for not even a whole year , but we've been good friends for about 3. We moved kind of fast. Almost immediately after we were exclusive , I got pregnant. I'm due on 3/26...with a baby boy. However I so have a problem. I admit I'm jealous of his previous relationship with the mother of his kids. They dated for about 7 years on and off. She seems to not really care or show emotion I think because she doesn't want him anymore, she doesn't give us problems, and they don't really communicate to my knowledge. His 8 year old son and 5 year old daughter stay with his mom ? I don't really understand the arrangement but me and him stay together with my 7 year old daughter. Even though his kids don't live with us, he's an active father. He sees them on a regular and spends money on them but I'm due with one of his own next month and he hasn't brought anything but clothes for my son ! But continues to spend on his other kids. He also changes profile pictures with them on it and takes hoe kids places without inviting me or my daughter. I hate to say it but I feel my son will be treated different. I've tried to express my concerns to him but he always gets upset and shuts me out. I'm all out of options. I'm starting to believe this man isn't for me but I don't know.

[Httm]

Umm, how do you not even know his custody arrangment?

[Reysa09]

I said I don't understand it...

[Maggie4]

Don't be so quick to jump to conclusions. Wait until the baby is born, and he can see and hold his son, then maybe things will be different. You're lugging around the baby, so you KNOW there's a baby in there. For him it's not the same, it's a bit indirect, cos he doesn't feel the baby physically.

 

Don't get upset with him, that will only make him more distant. As for his other kids, they'll always be his kids. And you will continue to love your daughter. Be patient just a bit longer. Give it a chance to work out.

[Gaeta]

Was your child with him planned or it was an accident? How did he react to the pregnancy news?

 

If you want this to work you will have to get yourself a good book on reconstituted families and get an appointment to family counseling.

 

It's normal he takes his other kids out without taking you along. It's called having quality time. It's just the 3 of them to bond and to allow his other kids to confine in him if they need to.

 

When your son together is born the dynamic will be different for a few years. A father doesn't relate to his child of 8 the same way he relates to a new born or a 1 year old.

 

Now the part about him not wanting to talk about it. Why is that you think? If he feels your jealousy toward his other children I can see where he grew tired of debating the subject.