eddpad Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 I'm probably overthinking it, but I'm going to ask anyway because I always enjoy hearing other people's perspectives, experiences and feedback. I've been dating a girl I met online for about two months. We've had 9 dates over that stretch, two which were very short coffee dates, 3 that ended in sleepovers and we spent all of Valentine's Day together - we each got each other gifts. She always takes my calls, or if she misses it, calls/texts me back and I met her best friend briefly when I met up with her one day before our date. I currently have another date set-up with her for this coming Saturday. We've had all the important conversations except about us moving forward. I haven't had this conversation not out of nervousness, but rather, things have been going along smooth enough where I figure'd the right time would present itself. I think that right time might be this weekend. My main question: Do you think at two months the time is appropriate? Might she be thinking that if I hadn't brought it up that I'm not interested in her? I think 2 months is the right amount of time to really know whether you want to keep moving forward exclusively, but interested to hear other perspectives. I'm assuming since she keeps agreeing to my dates that's ultimately a good sign. Thoughts?
frus69 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 It sounds like things are going well, I see no problem with you moving forward with her. And as a girl, I prefer guys to bring up the topic 1
bu2002 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Do you still have to ask for dates, or is hanging out sort of implied now? Do you hang out once a week, or do you spend both nights of the weekend together?
Author eddpad Posted February 18, 2016 Author Posted February 18, 2016 When dating, I've learned never to assume anything until you are exclusive or official. I always take the approach of asking her out to places, and she has never once cancelled or rejected me. I guess that's as close as you can get to assuming the two of you will see each other. We have progressed from weeknight dates, to weekend dates and obviously sleepovers. To that end, I will say that kissing has become much more the norm. When we both met for coffee today, we greeted and said goodbye with a kiss. And obviously with about 8 weeks of dating, we are a lot more comfortable with each other than we were at first.
WhirlwindGuy Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Just curious, because I am in a similar situation, what do you consider the next step to be? What is moving forward from where you are at? Our situation is different and much more restricted by cultural and religious norms, but we have been seeing each other for a right at 3 months. Have had a couple of sleep over nights, we see each other at least for an hour or so a day, some times a lot more. I am used to, by this time, to kind of be quasi-living together, but that is out of the question for this situation...so what do we do now? Keep doing this until we get married? I'm wondering what your perspective is too.
feb87 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 I'm probably overthinking it, but I'm going to ask anyway because I always enjoy hearing other people's perspectives, experiences and feedback. I've been dating a girl I met online for about two months. We've had 9 dates over that stretch, two which were very short coffee dates, 3 that ended in sleepovers and we spent all of Valentine's Day together - we each got each other gifts. She always takes my calls, or if she misses it, calls/texts me back and I met her best friend briefly when I met up with her one day before our date. I currently have another date set-up with her for this coming Saturday. We've had all the important conversations except about us moving forward. I haven't had this conversation not out of nervousness, but rather, things have been going along smooth enough where I figure'd the right time would present itself. I think that right time might be this weekend. My main question: Do you think at two months the time is appropriate? Might she be thinking that if I hadn't brought it up that I'm not interested in her? I think 2 months is the right amount of time to really know whether you want to keep moving forward exclusively, but interested to hear other perspectives. I'm assuming since she keeps agreeing to my dates that's ultimately a good sign. Thoughts? It seems like things are going quite well for you. Not only are they going well, but she gave you Valentine's Day-- a pretty huge deal for any relationship! I think there are different timelines on different relationships and there's never an accurate answer to when is the right time, but it seems to me like you guys might naturally have that conversation soon. I don't think she's worried about you not having brought it up. If it feels right, go for it. Good luck!
Redhead14 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 I'm probably overthinking it, but I'm going to ask anyway because I always enjoy hearing other people's perspectives, experiences and feedback. I've been dating a girl I met online for about two months. We've had 9 dates over that stretch, two which were very short coffee dates, 3 that ended in sleepovers and we spent all of Valentine's Day together - we each got each other gifts. She always takes my calls, or if she misses it, calls/texts me back and I met her best friend briefly when I met up with her one day before our date. I currently have another date set-up with her for this coming Saturday. We've had all the important conversations except about us moving forward. I haven't had this conversation not out of nervousness, but rather, things have been going along smooth enough where I figure'd the right time would present itself. I think that right time might be this weekend. My main question: Do you think at two months the time is appropriate? Might she be thinking that if I hadn't brought it up that I'm not interested in her? I think 2 months is the right amount of time to really know whether you want to keep moving forward exclusively, but interested to hear other perspectives. I'm assuming since she keeps agreeing to my dates that's ultimately a good sign. Thoughts? If you're being intimate with a woman a number of times, you should ask her for exclusivity at least, even if it's only been a couple of dates. It doesn't mean you're declaring boyfriend and girlfriend. It just means you are focusing on her and evaluating the potential for a relationship on a deeper level and not seeing and being intimate with anyone else. It will just clarify the situation for you both. You both need to understand and/or accept this definition of exclusivity. Some people feel that exclusivity is boyfriend and girlfriend. So be clear about what exclusivity means to you -- are you asking for exclusivity as a stage of evaluation or are you wanting to declare boyfriend and girlfriend. Frankly, it's a little early to declare bf/gf, but that's your call. Just make sure you're on the same page.
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