xbro.silent.kenx Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 I don't get it. My boyfriend & I have been going out for almost 4 months now, not long, but long enough for a High School relationship, yes? He is a freshman, held back one year, age 15, almost 16. I'm a junior age 17. Tonight was his last baseball game of the season, he's their star pitcher. I bought him flowers & his fav. candy. How does he react when I surprise him at the end of the game? He complains about his back hurting, storms off to the car to get his clothes & the pecks my cheek & leaves w/ his friends. Are all men so insensitive? Is it just because we're soo young? Or is it because my boyfriend is a jerk? Help, I'm upset about it.
blue16 Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 Depends on your definition of what insensitive is, and normal guy behaviour. You have to take into consideration the circumstances you were both in. He just finished a long, hot, baseball game with his buddies...and he wanted to go party with his friends the season just ended. Probably the last thing on his mind was his girlfriend, no offense. This is true with a lot of guys when you have sports involved. The gesture was very thoughtful and sweet of you, but from my own personal experience it's not a good idea to mix love/etc. when a guy is in a sporting activity. Are most guys insensitive? No. I think most of them have a conscious and are sensitive when they want to be. Would most guys do a similar thing he did in a situation like that? Probably.
westernxer Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 He must be pretty intense on game day. Don't take it personal. I used to be the same way when I played... although not as grouchy. Some guys take it very serious, even when the game's over. Give him a few hours to chill, and don't call him. Let him call you.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 I bought him flowers & his fav. candy. While it is a nice gesture, he was probably mortified to have that done in front of his teammates. It being the last game of the season, he was probably more interested in going out with his teammates for some male bonding fun to end the season. That's not a matter of insensitivity - its just a matter of him wanting to do this rather than hang out with you. He gets to see you every day. He only gets one 'last game of the season' once a year. Your hurt may have caused you to misinterpret what he was doing. I think he could have at least said 'thank you' but after flowers and candy, its not likely he's going to add a heavy duty PDA on top of that in front of his friends. He was probably afraid of looking like a p*ssywhip in front of his friends. What probably seemed like a huge deal to you, he has probably not given another thought to tonight (unless his teammates rag him tonight), but even then he probably isn't seeing it the same way you are. If it makes you feel better, bring it up in an non-argumentative way tomorrow and just let him know your feelings were hurt. The less confrontational you are about it, the more likely he will rationally explain himself.
Author xbro.silent.kenx Posted June 12, 2005 Author Posted June 12, 2005 Update: All your advice really helped. I sat down & talked to my boyfriend about what I was feeling & we worked things out. It turned out he just wasn't even thinking about the gifts. His mind was in about 20,000 other places at the moment & he didn't even stop to consider that his lack of enthusiasm would hurt me. But, it's alright now, he knows for the future & so do I. Thanx everyone for all your help.
BrotherAaron Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 Wow. Problem solved by the LoveShack team. It's nice to see that our advice (well, not mine, in this case) helps at least some of the time.
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