Sweetgirl28 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 So I have been seeing this new guy. We went on an awesome first date; chemistry went through the roof. He has been texting me every day, and made it clear he wants to see me again. However, in person we had agreed on Saturday but he texted me today saying he is going to bars in different towns to spread posters about some event organized by his sports club. The event is not until next month... I am kinda pissed now. He hasn't suggested a different day or activities; yet he does text to ask how my day is going. Should I stop talking to him?
katiegrl Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 So I have been seeing this new guy. We went on an awesome first date; chemistry went through the roof. Did you have sex with him?
katiegrl Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Nope. Didn't kiss either So then what happened that caused you to think the chemistry was off the charts? Perhaps it was to you....but maybe not to him? I have said this before....but it's important to realize that while two people can be on the same date.... they could be having two entirely different experiences. Judging from his behavior.... it doesn't sound like he agrees with you about the chemistry. Otherwise, he'd want to see you again ASAP....not making excuses NOT to see you. Sorry. 2
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 17, 2016 Author Posted February 17, 2016 He told me that I was hot and that he wanted to see me again at the end. Apart from that, he stared at me intensely watching my every move.
katiegrl Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 He told me that I was hot and that he wanted to see me again at the end. Apart from that, he stared at me intensely watching my every move. That's not chemistry. That's him thinking you are hot, and feeling you out to see if you'd go out with him again. Now he's gonna think about it. As far as him staring...that's him simply observing you, to determine if he wants to see you again. Off the charts chemistry involves some form of physical contact - like kissing and touching - at the very least! And not being able to wait to see each other again -- not him making excuses. 1
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 17, 2016 Author Posted February 17, 2016 Ok I just don't understand why he is texting every day if he is not interested
katiegrl Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Ok I just don't understand why he is texting every day if he is not interested Oh I think he's interested. I just don't think he thought the chemistry was as hot as you did, that's all. He'll probably get around to asking you out one of these days though. My guess is he's dating other girls. 2
Shanex Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I wouldn't text someone everyday I don't want to see again, your odds are good if you're patient. 3
brokengirl85 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 He doesn't like you enough however, he's keeping you as an option just in case other females he likes more become unavailable. My advice is to stop replying to his texts. He's been extremely disrespectful with you so far canceling your date for other activity and not even rescheduling. Walk away.
brokengirl85 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Ok I just don't understand why he is texting every day if he is not interested Because he is keeping you on hand. Just in case other females he's more attracted to are not available. You're his plan b. 1
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Posted February 18, 2016 We hadn't made official plans yet. It was more a case of "maybe Saturday". Could it be that he is just slow? Or does he do this on purpose?
joseb Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 We hadn't made official plans yet. It was more a case of "maybe Saturday". Could it be that he is just slow? Or does he do this on purpose? I'd say he's waiting on his higher priority options before committing.
Methodical Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 We hadn't made official plans yet. It was more a case of "maybe Saturday". Could it be that he is just slow? Or does he do this on purpose? He's non-committal at this point. It was one date. What kind of vibe do you get from the tone of his text?
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Posted February 18, 2016 I get that he is very eager to get to know me. He always initiates the texts, jokes and questions. He always asks me how a certain event or presentation went so no complaints in that area. He asked me out to a restaurant but the location was inconvenient for me. He has also told me several times that he wants to see me again; asked me what I thought of him; sent me childhood pictures of him etc
frus69 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 (edited) When a guy retrieves to texting after a date? I tell ya girl, he I seeing someone else/has a GF. He asked to see you Saturday on your date, he knows it. He's acting like he forgot about it but he aint stupid. Do you want a texting buddy? I guess no? Drop him, or at least stop replying for 3 days to let him know where you stand. Oh and he is not going to ask you out any time soon Edited February 18, 2016 by frus69
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Posted February 18, 2016 Oh and he is not going to ask you out any time soon What makes you think that? It took my ex bf more than 2 weeks to ask me out on the second date.
angel.eyes Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 I suspect the putting up posters at various bars this weekend is either seeing other women on dates or trawling bars to see if he might do even better than you. When he mentioned he was going to be putting up posters, I would have called him on it by asking whether you were still on for a date. From what you describe, I think he clearly finds you very attractive and likes you to some extent. I suspect, he's just more excited about other options right now. Please don't waste your time on guys who put you on the back burner as this guy seems to be doing, especially if it's just been one date. If you don't end up dating this weekend, I would write him off and look for other options. 1
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Posted February 18, 2016 I don't want to be someone's option but I also don't want to start an argument. Maybe not text him back anymore? As for the texting, it really confuses me because he seems so interested.
angel.eyes Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 (edited) That's fine. You can stop texting him. But you need to take it a step further and emotionally disengage. FWIW, it's very easy to seem interested with lots of texting. It takes a few seconds if he's making generic comments. If there's no date planned, and it sounds as if there isn't, you're wasting your time. Even if he comes back in a few weeks and sets one up, trust me, it will ultimately be a waste of your time. He's prioritizing looking and dating others over having a second date with you. Unfortunately, that makes you good enough to be a backup, but not quite what he wants. He'll keep looking and dropping you erratically until he finds someone he feels is right for him. It's probably not what you want to hear. But if a guy isn't eagerly setting up a second date, especially when he's making flimsy excuses why he can't (postering bars for an event in a month), let it go and move on. Edited February 18, 2016 by angel.eyes
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Posted February 18, 2016 I get that. It's just that his texts are not generic. They are very personal. He asks me a lot of questions; seems to remember almost everything I told him and he checks in with me on certain projects I told him about. That's why it's so confusing. I also know he was supposed to have training with his sports team on Sat. He was going to look if he could cancel but apparently they are going to poster bars now and turn it into a roadtrip.
road Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 I suspect the putting up posters at various bars this weekend is either seeing other women on dates or trawling bars to see if he might do even better than you. When he mentioned he was going to be putting up posters, I would have called him on it by asking whether you were still on for a date. From what you describe, I think he clearly finds you very attractive and likes you to some extent. I suspect, he's just more excited about other options right now. Please don't waste your time on guys who put you on the back burner as this guy seems to be doing, especially if it's just been one date. If you don't end up dating this weekend, I would write him off and look for other options. I do not know how much he wants to date you. Though you could of nudged it along by asking if he wanted help putting up the posters.
angel.eyes Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 That's a somewhat different picture. The excuse isn't as flimsy as it originally sounded. He could be interested. Who knows? His actions aren't fully matching his words? I see why you're confused. But, let's ignore your strong feelings for him for a minute, and look at the bigger picture. Bottom line: someone is either available to date or he isn't. This guy isn't right now. It sounds as if he may not be for a month? Other guys are available NOW. You should be out looking for someone who can date you, and if you're interested in a relationship, someone who is a good fit, who is also looking to explore that possibility now. Your mistake is that you got emotionally invested in a stranger after meeting him once. Now you're focused on making things work out with someone you really don't know (and don't know if he'll even be a good fit for you) rather than exploring your options and seeing who would be good to date, i.e. who deserves your attention and energy based on their follow through and dependability. You've put the cart before the horse here. Remember, you need a lot more than chemistry to have a sustainable relationship. Fireworks shouldn't be your only yardstick in picking a guy. 1
SSJROMANCE Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Going to bars in different towns? Did he invite you? If not he is going out with another woman - most definitely. He doesn't want you to know. Question is what are his intentions? What else do you not know about? If he was head over heels for you he would have invited you to come with. Ask him to be honest. If he is lying to you now your future with him will be a rough ride - a ride I would stay away from.
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Posted February 18, 2016 Well, he is going with his sports team. It does make sense to me since he has training every Saturday, and missed it to see me last week.
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