truth_seeker Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 I've thought about this but I'm a bit nervous. Plus the party thing just happened. Should I wait a few weeks and see what happens? I think asking him to grab a bite to eat after work is the way to go. It really doesn't suggest anything other than you want some company.
Author thejabberwocky Posted January 16, 2016 Author Posted January 16, 2016 Ok guys so I *almost* asked him to grab a drink after work but I chickened out. I couldn't get him without our other coworkers around. But we're working together alone in a couple weeks so maybe I will try it then? But he was very flirty with me and kept brushing past me, touching my hands, etc. I'm not sure if it was intentional but it seemed like it! But he also chats a lot with our other coworker, so maybe that's just his personality. At one point, I wasn't paying attention and when I turned, he was standing right beside me and just staring at me. And he didn't look away when I noticed! So I said, "What?" and he started laughing and said "nothing" and then went back to work. Do you think he was maybe thinking of asking me out? It was pretty awkward as I want to know what he was laughing at!
Author thejabberwocky Posted January 16, 2016 Author Posted January 16, 2016 I think asking him to grab a bite to eat after work is the way to go. It really doesn't suggest anything other than you want some company. We get off work VERY late at night though, that is the only thing holding me back. I feel like getting a drink is more reasonable, but also, it seems more like I'm hitting on him...
preraph Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 Just remember, he can ask you out as well. Either way, it's at work and it's dangerous because when it falls apart, the chances of it being pleasant seeing him are not good. But at least he's not too close by. Why not ask him to lunch?
truth_seeker Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 We get off work VERY late at night though, that is the only thing holding me back. I feel like getting a drink is more reasonable, but also, it seems more like I'm hitting on him... Drink sounds more suggestive. One drink of alcohol leads to another then it's WHAM BAM, THANK YOU, MA'AM! I like bite to eat. Figure out a good time to say: "Hey, I'm hungry, want to grab a bite? I don't want to go by myself."
Author thejabberwocky Posted January 16, 2016 Author Posted January 16, 2016 Just remember, he can ask you out as well. Either way, it's at work and it's dangerous because when it falls apart, the chances of it being pleasant seeing him are not good. But at least he's not too close by. Why not ask him to lunch? We work at night, to ask him to lunch/dinner would mean having to text or call him... so not casual! The other option is late night food but not everyone eats at midnight (I personally don't), and nothing good is open!
thecrucible Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 We work at night, to ask him to lunch/dinner would mean having to text or call him... so not casual! The other option is late night food but not everyone eats at midnight (I personally don't), and nothing good is open! Are there are any work events happening that you can attend and spend more time with him? I don't mean necessarily alcohol-fueled ones btw. Do you have work breaks during which you can initiate a hangout like going for a coffee or something like that?
Author thejabberwocky Posted January 19, 2016 Author Posted January 19, 2016 So if you're following my pathetic little work crush story, I worked with him this weekend and I decided to test whether he may like me. Instead of going over to him, I kind of avoided him to see if he'd come to me. He stared at me a lot and came over to me every opportunity he had. He was flirtatious and asked me things about myself and touched my arm and back. I know I sound like I'm 12, but it was exciting and we had such great conversation, I feel like he likes me. But he didn't make a move or ask me out. Towards the end of our shift, I was like I just should ask him to go grab food or something, but then our other coworker kept hanging around us and there was no opportunity that didn't feel awkward. I thought for sure he'd text me afterwards to at least continue our conversation, but nothing. And we don't work together for the rest of the month! I also thought about texting him, but so far, I've texted him first TWICE and while he always responds and is friendly, he has never texted me first. So does he like me? I always thought that if a guy doesn't text or doesn't ask you out, it's obvious that he doesn't like you... but his behavior seems like he likes me. I'm going to ask him out I think next time I see him (next month though) but if he likes me, wouldn't he contact me before that? Why doesn't he text me first?
smackie9 Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 It's possible he is just being friendly, kind of a coworker comradery. Sometimes people misinterpret being playful as flirtation. That would explain why he never asked you out.
Grewd Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 It might not have crossed his mind that you're interested in him that way. Don't play games like "if he likes me he comes over", it proves nothing as there's a billion other reasons for going over to someone. He might be like me regarding texts, not much into it and texting habits counts for nothing. Also considering he might not have even considered his own interest towards you given he doesn't know about your interest, he has no reason to randomly shoot off texts. Just because he haven't texted you or asked you out doesn't mean he doesn't like you. He definitely likes you to some extent considering his behavior, but how much remains to be figured out. Your title question is a dead end one, you got to consider your options. You might not get anything going by waiting to be asked out, even though there's potential here. What you can do is what you already planned to do, ask him out to figure it out. It's really the only way you can know, we can't answer if he likes you or not as nobody on a forum can read the mind of your guy any better than you can.
soph-walker Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Don't play games, you can't read into text messages. if you want to go on a date with him, ask him out. It's 2016;) 2
basil67 Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Sometimes workplace flirtations are simply workplace flirtations. 1
wb1988 Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 if you want to go on a date with him, ask him out. It's 2016;) It's much better for the girl to ask out the guy if it's a workplace scenario as then there isn't much of an HR issue or the social grease (us guys don't exactly brag about being asked out).
Zippy2000 Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 The man reminds me when I was younger. I could never find the right moment to ask OR I didnt get any green light from the girl for me to go ahead an ask. I think sometimes its good for the woman to ask. As men there is nothing we fear most than rejection.
road Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Don't play games, you can't read into text messages. if you want to go on a date with him, ask him out. It's 2016;) He also can be shy.
Snakechammah Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Darling, my work place crush didn't ask me out for months!! Despite me flirting like a drunk baboon! I found out after 10 months he had a girlfriend all those times. In the end, they broke up (ORGANICALLY, not my doing lol) and he finally asked me out. Maybe your dude is attracted but has a girlfriend too? In which case, just wait patiently for the car park to be available. Good luck! 1
soph-walker Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 He also can be shy. People can be many things, but it's no good speculating about what they are/aren't. I've said it once and I'll say it again..shy bairns get nowt and procrastination is the thief of time. Put yourself out there..you never known until you ask.
smackie9 Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 she starts the same thread, gets same answers, she still does nothing.
Author thejabberwocky Posted January 19, 2016 Author Posted January 19, 2016 she starts the same thread, gets same answers, she still does nothing. Actually my threads are different based on the situation changing. Im now thinking he likes me and want an explanation for why he wouldn't just ask me out. He can ask me out just as easily as I can ask him! If you don't like my threads, why are commenting on every single one? You don't need to read them.
Author thejabberwocky Posted January 19, 2016 Author Posted January 19, 2016 Darling, my work place crush didn't ask me out for months!! Despite me flirting like a drunk baboon! I found out after 10 months he had a girlfriend all those times. In the end, they broke up (ORGANICALLY, not my doing lol) and he finally asked me out. Maybe your dude is attracted but has a girlfriend too? In which case, just wait patiently for the car park to be available. Good luck! He does not have a girlfriend, it came up a couple times with other coworkers!
Author thejabberwocky Posted January 19, 2016 Author Posted January 19, 2016 It might not have crossed his mind that you're interested in him that way. Don't play games like "if he likes me he comes over", it proves nothing as there's a billion other reasons for going over to someone. He might be like me regarding texts, not much into it and texting habits counts for nothing. Also considering he might not have even considered his own interest towards you given he doesn't know about your interest, he has no reason to randomly shoot off texts. Just because he haven't texted you or asked you out doesn't mean he doesn't like you. He definitely likes you to some extent considering his behavior, but how much remains to be figured out. Your title question is a dead end one, you got to consider your options. You might not get anything going by waiting to be asked out, even though there's potential here. What you can do is what you already planned to do, ask him out to figure it out. It's really the only way you can know, we can't answer if he likes you or not as nobody on a forum can read the mind of your guy any better than you can. Thanks everyone else! I do agree he seems shy and a couple times it was like he was going to say something but didn't. Maybe he really is super nervous and unaware if I like him and doesn't want to appear creepy - despite our obvious flirtation. I guess I'm just gonna wait until next month and just do it! It sucks to wait so long but if I text or call him, that won't be very casual at all.
soph-walker Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Thanks everyone else! I do agree he seems shy and a couple times it was like he was going to say something but didn't. Maybe he really is super nervous and unaware if I like him and doesn't want to appear creepy - despite our obvious flirtation. I guess I'm just gonna wait until next month and just do it! It sucks to wait so long but if I text or call him, that won't be very casual at all. I may have missed something written in this thread..why would you have to wait until next month? Baffling. Sh*t or get off the pot woman! I mean that in the nicest way. If you want something, you work for it or try to put things in motion! Things you want in life don't fall into your lap.
Author thejabberwocky Posted January 19, 2016 Author Posted January 19, 2016 I may have missed something written in this thread..why would you have to wait until next month? Baffling. Sh*t or get off the pot woman! I mean that in the nicest way. If you want something, you work for it or try to put things in motion! Things you want in life don't fall into your lap. Because I am not scheduled with him until next month so I won't see him. It's so annoying. But I'm worried if I text him, that too out of my way, and if he's not interested, I've just made things really awkward. At least in person it would be more like "oh you're already here, let's hangout" just in case he turns me down.
Author thejabberwocky Posted January 24, 2016 Author Posted January 24, 2016 Guys especially, please help me out with this situation. As fate would have it, I got moved again to work with my coworker crush, so I decided just to go for it and after our shift, I asked him to go get a drink. He said he would love to.... but he had something planned that night. He then seemed to get really nervous and went into this big long rambling thing of exactly what the plan entailed and all the reasons he couldn't get out of it interrupting with "but any other time, I would love to" or "normally I would would definitely go". I had to actually stop him and say, no worries, it's totally fine, have fun! And we said goodbye. Okay, so what happened here? I definitely don't think it was made up or anything - he really seemed apologetic and he didn't have to tell me the whole story, could have just said he had plans. But did he get all nervous because he likes me and really wants to go out with me OR did I catch him so off guard that he panicked because he doesn't like me? Was the whole "normally I would love to" thing just to spare my feelings and be polite? I'm disappointed that during his long ramble, he at no point suggested an alternative night go out. And he hasn't texted me or called or anything if he thought of that option later. I'm worried I just made him uncomfortable and now he's going to be weird around me next time we work together. I thought asking him would help me figure out this uncertainty but now I'm still totally uncertain AND anxious. What do you think?
Robratory Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 Aw, I'm really sorry, but I think he was trying to spare your feelings. He's not interested for whatever reason. From now on at work, just act normal. Don't say anything. 2
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