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Posted

How long is normal to wait until you have the exclusive/relationship talk?

 

I have verbalized that I want to be more than a few random dates but he seems hesitant/not interested. He keeps talking to me though but I feel like it has scaled back from his enthusiasm in the beginning.

 

I'm not sure if I'm wasting my time or if I just need to wait a longer. We've been talking for almost 7 weeks but met almost 3 weeks ago. My friends tell me go slow but I do like him. I'm worried he doesn't feel it on the same level.

Posted

That's not much time for feelings to develop. Pressuring him too soon may cause him to end all chances of a future relationship.

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Posted
How long is normal to wait until you have the exclusive/relationship talk?

 

 

I have never felt the need to have that type of "talk" in my relationships.... but I think the general consensus from reading these boards is around three months.

 

Three WEEKS seems really soon.... but I suppose that would depend on how much time you spent together and how close you've become in that three weeks' time.

 

The fact he's pulling away now is NOT a good sign though.

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Posted
I think the general consensus from reading these boards is around three months.

 

The fact he's pulling away now is NOT a good sign though.

 

Yeah... okay thanks :sick:

Posted

When a guy is really into a girl, the attraction goes off like popcorn in a microwave. If things are not heating up and getting more exciting by now....it's a fail.

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Posted

It varies from person to person but if you are sensing reluctance from him 3 weeks of knowing each other is too fast for him. If it's too long for you, you are not compatible.

 

Personally I'd give it some more time but I would have the talk before you have sex.

Posted

In my relationships it's been between 1-3 months. Most of my exes and current BF told me they knew pretty early on though. I want to know before I have sex.

 

I agree that if things aren't picking up it might not be a good sign. My BF didn't pick up though and he said he knew after the second date he wanted more from me but wanted to make sure he didn't scare me away. It's difficult to tell much after 3 weeks IMO.

Posted (edited)
When a guy is really into a girl, the attraction goes off like popcorn in a microwave. If things are not heating up and getting more exciting by now....it's a fail.

 

That's true, but the other side of the coin is these RS can fade away just as fast. It boils down to many factors though, age, how often they meet up... three weeks is a short time anyway.

Edited by Shanex
Posted

All that time you talked together before meeting doesn't count.

 

So you met 3 weeks ago. How often do you see each other?

 

Exclusivity depends on several factors, one of them is age.

 

Younger people tend to date longer before addressing exclusivity. In our 40s and 50s it's different.

 

My boyfriend and I talked about exclusivity on our 5th date. The man I was dating before him asked me to date exclusively on our 3rd date.

 

I personally would not date more than 5 dates (1 month) before talking exclusivity. If a man met me 5 times and he still doesn't know if he only wants to date me then I let him go.

 

Dating exclusively is not a marriage, or an engagement, it's just an agreement to not see other people while you get to know each other. If someone runs at that, let them run.

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