hippychick3 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 In all my personal dating experience, I really can't think of a really witty and interesting guy who was a boring texter. 1
GorillaTheater Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 In all my personal dating experience, I really can't think of a really witty and interesting guy who was a boring texter. That's because we've never dated. 6
normal person Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I'm going to disagree here. In my experience, there isn't much correlation based on how well someone communicates via text vs in person. I've seen good texters who are not so good in person and vice versa. Fair enough, we have different experiences, then. A little effort to display personality goes a long way in my book. I'm going to side with the OP on this one. If a girl can't naturally have a somewhat interesting and engaging conversation through text when they have to, I feel like I'm just talking to a robot. Now I know a lot of people will present the counterpoint of "just pick up the phone and call," but times have changed. Texting is now a default form of communication because it's convenient, easy, and non-invasive to the recipient's time. They don't have to put everything else on hold to respond, they can do it when they have the chance, unlike a phone call which has to be addressed right then. My time is valuable and (I assume) hers is too. If I'm going to have a conversation with someone that isn't at our own convenience, I'll just do it in person assuming the geographic limitations aren't too big. Calling isn't as advantageous as either one under those circumstances. With the digitalization of social interactions these days, people who can't cut it in the digital space are going to face some problems. Like the OP's boyfriend. People need to know how to text, how to look good on paper for OLD, OLD etiquette, etc. People can laugh, but it's a big part of how we interact these days. As I see it, you've got to adapt or die. 1
Grumpybutfun Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 This entire discussion bored me...you all are cut off... G 5
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 In all my personal dating experience, I really can't think of a really witty and interesting guy who was a boring texter. In my entire personal experience as a human being I can't think of a single person who I could differentiate from any other based on their text messaging capabilities.
jen1447 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 In all my personal dating experience, I really can't think of a really witty and interesting guy who was a boring texter. Almost hate to say it for some reason lol but I have to agree. Usually text game reflects overall game, unless they're about to do a fade, which doesn't mean they just suck at texting - it means they've withdrawn emotionally overall. That's what I was hoping hadn't happened in OP's case. :-/ 2
normal person Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 (edited) In my entire personal experience as a human being I can't think of a single person who I could differentiate from any other based on their text messaging capabilities. Extrapolate the same principals to this forum. You, for example, inject humor into your responses, color them with analogies and turns of phrase, you don't have any issue presenting or detecting sarcasm or irony, etc. Whether or not I agree with what you say, you at least make it interesting to read. You're articulate and you've got a clear, distinct manner of typing. I get a sense of you as an individual through words. Conversely, there are plenty of people who write without so much flavor. They come off stiff, impersonal, and not any fun. They could really just be anyone. Now when you have a relationship with someone and you text them, you want to feel as if you're texting that specific person. You want to experience their idiosyncrasies, their unique behaviors, reactions, mannerisms, all that stuff. If you're just getting mechanical responses, then any fun of the interaction is lost and it's just purely information exchange, if even that. Edited February 17, 2016 by normal person 1
Wewon Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 How long are these text? Are people writing novels? Is that where all of these interesting text are coming from?
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Extrapolate the same principals to this forum. You, for example, inject humor into your responses, color them with analogies and turns of phrase, you don't have any issue presenting or detecting sarcasm or irony, etc. Whether or not I agree with what you say, you at least make it interesting to read. You're articulate and you've got a clear, distinct manner of typing. I get a sense of you as an individual through words. Conversely, there are plenty of people who write without so much flavor. They come off stiff, impersonal, and not any fun. They could really just be anyone. Now when you have a relationship with someone and you text them, you want to feel as if you're texting that specific person. You want to experience their idiosyncrasies, their unique behaviors, reactions, mannerisms, all that stuff. If you're just getting mechanical responses, then any fun of the interaction is lost and it's just purely information exchange, if even that. I agree with everything you say
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 How long are these text? Are people writing novels? Is that where all of these interesting text are coming from? I think I tend to use text messages as just vehicles of information. I hate doing it. But I did resist even getting a mobile phone until about 2002 because I like being able to go off and be out of contact at times. 2
MidwestUSA Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 He does have a demanding job, but I didn't really think about it when complaining about his texts. Last week he worked 50+ hours. This week maybe only 40 at most. My job is slow at the moment, so I have all day to ponder **** . So he has a demanding job, and you don't. I thought you were talking about off hours texting. Back in the days of real phones, we didn't spend hours chatting. It wasn't appropriate, no matter the job. I don't know why texting should be any different. In my OR days, they laid down the law about phones in the surgical suites. Most ignored it. Who wants to be the circulating nurse that was texting while the neurosurgeon needed something to stop a brain bleed, NOW? Not me. I don't get texting at all, if that dates me, so be it. I've watched the work ethic in my profession take a nose dive for it.
normal person Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 How long are these text? Are people writing novels? Is that where all of these interesting text are coming from? Granted, there are limitations with regards to size of messages and that can definitely make things tricky. But ideally, if you're having a conversation that way, it's really nice to feel like you're talking to a unique, human, individual and not a robot. Which exchange is more interesting to read? Person 1: what r u doing Person 2: watching dexter Person 1: cool i like that show Person 2: lol cool or Person 1: What're you up to today? Mountain climbing? Street Racing? Something amazing, I'm sure. Person 2: I'm actually enjoying all the heart pumping adrenaline of sitting around in sweatpants, watching Dexter, and stuffing my face with pizza. I can't tell if Deb is attractive or not and it's really driving me nuts. Person 1: She became a lot more attractive to me after she killed La Guerta in season 6. Oh, and if you aren't that far along yet, then uh... spoiler alert. See what I mean?
dispatch3d Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I'd start complaining about how bad his texting is.
katiegrl Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 (edited) For me.... I don't really care what the actual content of the text is.... just receiving the text makes me happy...as it shows that he's thinking of me. That is all I care about. Therefore, the first text exchange would be totally fine with me!! I'm just thrilled to hear from him! I don't need a guy to entertain me.... either via texting or in person. When we're together...we entertain each other .... by mere virtue of spending time together. Edited February 17, 2016 by katiegrl
Gaeta Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I dated this guy for 1 year. Real fun guy, very witty and chatty. Here was his texting: Me: blablablablabla blabla? Him: ok Me: bla bla blablablabla? Him: no Me: bla bla blablabla Him: ya Me: Blabla blabla? Him: ok Me: bla bla Him: ok It never bothered me lol 2
introverted1 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I dated this guy for 1 year. Real fun guy, very witty and chatty. Here was his texting: Me: blablablablabla blabla? Him: ok Me: bla bla blablablabla? Him: no Me: bla bla blablabla Him: ya Me: Blabla blabla? Him: ok Me: bla bla Him: ok It never bothered me lol This cracked me up. Gaeta - I love your style! OP, if the guy is otherwise witty and fun, I would overlook the texting issue. If the bigger picture is that, as a person, he is boring... well... that would be difficult to live with, imo. 1
Ferret Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 That old chestnut! How do you think people got together before mobiles and texting. I really dislike people who say theyre too busy to call. People have time to take a piss or take a dump. Get real and just call him for 5 minutes if you cant stand his texts. I totally agree with this! we all wonder why more relationships don't work these days when we are basing the values of said relationships on a less then perfect system of communication to begin with. Heck half my texts don't even make to my bfs phone until the next day then we laugh about it together..if the guys a good guy then cut him some slack OP its better then being with a total dush bag whose awesome at texting.. That said tho like the poster I quoted said if you have time to text you have time to call we have just become lazy as a sociaity but yet we still want all the perks of actually working at a relationship its really rather sad.. 1
losangelena Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Person 1: What're you up to today? Mountain climbing? Street Racing? Something amazing, I'm sure. Person 2: I'm actually enjoying all the heart pumping adrenaline of sitting around in sweatpants, watching Dexter, and stuffing my face with pizza. I can't tell if Deb is attractive or not and it's really driving me nuts. Person 1: She became a lot more attractive to me after she killed La Guerta in season 6. Oh, and if you aren't that far along yet, then uh... spoiler alert. See what I mean? Are you serious, though? Do you know how long a text convo like that takes? I will text something like that about the NBA to my brother, who I see three times a year. Otherwise, it is pithy and to the point. Like my gay BFF, we titter back and forth all day, and it ain't like that. Actual transcript (we were talking about snap chat): Me: I always notice teenagers on the bus on snapchat. Him: what a (grandma emoji) sentence. Me: well, compared to them I am a (grandma emoji). Him: what were the markers called they have a smell? Me: mister sketch? Him: that sounds right Me: why? Him: just curious. I drank a bottle of wine and my mind is going places If anyone expected me to keep up the level of texting suggested in your post, I don't think even I could do that. So involved! 1
jen1447 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I think normal was just trying to illustrate a point. Losa, your exchange was perfectly adequate but what if it went like this - Me: I always notice teenagers on the bus on snapchat. Him: lol Me: well, compared to them I am a (grandma emoji). Him: ha yeah Me: mister sketch? Him: ? Me: why? Him: gtg ttyl Little unfullfilling? 1
SwordofFlame Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I think normal was just trying to illustrate a point. Losa, your exchange was perfectly adequate but what if it went like this - Me: I always notice teenagers on the bus on snapchat. Him: lol Me: well, compared to them I am a (grandma emoji). Him: ha yeah Me: mister sketch? Him: ? Me: why? Him: gtg ttyl Little unfullfilling? Seems more like an effort issue.
losangelena Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I think normal was just trying to illustrate a point. Losa, your exchange was perfectly adequate but what if it went like this - Me: I always notice teenagers on the bus on snapchat. Him: lol Me: well, compared to them I am a (grandma emoji). Him: ha yeah Me: mister sketch? Him: ? Me: why? Him: gtg ttyl Little unfullfilling? Yes, yes (oh Jen, you voice of reason ). I guess everyone just has a different opinion of what constitutes quality texting. Hopefully op's guy sounds more like my example and not yours! 1
brokengirl85 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Why don't you just talk and let him know your thoughts? If he's not putting much energy is either because he is like this with everyone and in this case he's a boring person, or he's like this just with you. Try to think about this.
Wewon Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Granted, there are limitations with regards to size of messages and that can definitely make things tricky. But ideally, if you're having a conversation that way, it's really nice to feel like you're talking to a unique, human, individual and not a robot. Which exchange is more interesting to read? Person 1: what r u doing Person 2: watching dexter Person 1: cool i like that show Person 2: lol cool or Person 1: What're you up to today? Mountain climbing? Street Racing? Something amazing, I'm sure. Person 2: I'm actually enjoying all the heart pumping adrenaline of sitting around in sweatpants, watching Dexter, and stuffing my face with pizza. I can't tell if Deb is attractive or not and it's really driving me nuts. Person 1: She became a lot more attractive to me after she killed La Guerta in season 6. Oh, and if you aren't that far along yet, then uh... spoiler alert. See what I mean? I see the difference, but to me, that has about as much significance as whether someone is wearing their watch on the right wrist or the left. I think that the big difference between people that see this as an issue versus those that don't seems to be how big of a factor does texting play in ones life. If that were my primary source of human contact then I would probably be right there with the people making the sweeping comments about this guy's personality. Considering that's all you're getting (or want). Instead, I'm of the mind to be more interested in the person because they are into street racing or mountain climbing, not how they delivered the message.
jen1447 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Seems more like an effort issue. Exactly. :-/
xxoo Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I married before text. Somehow, we had a super exciting courtship without it. We still barely text each other, and when we do it's usually something like: me: need TP him: k Entertaining texting is a need now? 7
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