Alamo657 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Texting is the cancer of modern dating. I run away from women who are text demanding, because i know that if they need it that much, they'll go get it somewhere else. 3
Httm Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 This is the real issue, you aren't into this guy that much because he is a nice guy, is genuinely invested in you and cares for you. Has nothing to do with texting. Struggling guys should read this topic over and over till it's etched in their brain. Nothing to do with? The guy is boring and puts less than zero effort into communicating with his girlfriend..and this is the time when things are supposed to be fun and flirty. The guy sounds like he has no personality.
Art_Critic Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 time to turn that texter into a sexter.. heat it up and boring will be on the sidelines. 1
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I'm actually shocked that bad texting is a deal breaker. I'm actually shocked that it's the subject for any kind of discussion. My God, is this where Western Civilisation is heading? Texting is the most bum-clenchingly dull form of communication humanity has yet invented. It's coma-inducingly tedious to actually write one out. After a 'conversation' of only half an hour you find that you will literally pay to have your hand sawn off as you've developed carpel tunnel syndrome and you wish a bird of prey would come along and pluck your eyes out as you can only read 'lol' so many times before you wish you had descended into the seventh circle of hell. If the quality of his texting is the only complaint you have about this guy you're so far ahead of most couples that you should sell your story to a Hollywood producer. If there's more than just the texting, it's THAT you should be worrying about. 8
Wewon Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Nothing to do with? The guy is boring and puts less than zero effort into communicating with his girlfriend..and this is the time when things are supposed to be fun and flirty. The guy sounds like he has no personality. From the OP it sounds like she like the guy outside of texting. I'm taking it that this is simply a medium that he's not good at. Its not unusual for people to not use texting in this manner. Its hard to take this seriously since this problem wouldn't have existed as little as 10 years ago. 2
katiegrl Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 abbey, your post made me chuckle. I once dated a guy whose "texting personality" was so exciting! When texting, he was charming, funny, engaging, it really pulled me in!! I absolutely loved texting with him! However, in person, he was a total DUH!!!! Super boring, could not carry a real life conversation if his life depended on it. I am convinced some people have two personas.... their texting persona and real life persona. People with good texting personas are great writers, and tend to live in fantasy. While on the other hand, people with good real life personalities are genuine, real, and in your case, stable and trustworthy! Be careful of guys who tend to pull you in via text. They're not real....and big on fantasy. There was actually a study done on this, and when it happened to me, I was like "A-ha!" Stick with your guy, and give up texting. Or just use it for the bare minimum like making/confirming plans, or a quick check in during the day.
d0nnivain Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 This whole thread made me so glad I'm married. If I had to base a relationship on texting, I'd never get another date. Testing should be reserved for please bring home milk; where are you? (when somebody is late or you can't find them in a crowd) or I love you. Anything more then 1 sentence merits another medium. IMO lackluster anything comes from lackluster effort, which means the impetus is lacking. Is he like that in other interactions too, like just maybe a boring sorta guy? Or is he super cool otherwise? Not trying to shake you up but if someone's text game is weak it could mean bigger problems looming. See above. My text game is non-existent by choice I'm hardly a boring person but I'm not going to text you. If you have my cell it's because I want to interact with you -- in person or on the phone (voice) not by text. IMO somebody who is going to judge me as a person by how I text is somebody I want out of my life immediately! This would be a deal breaker for me. I need lively, funny texts to keep me interested. Again, yikes! I find texts irritating. If the best you can do is text me, to me that screams that you don't care. Call me. Find 20 minutes in your life to listen to my voice & let me hear yours. If a person can't do that, then they aren't interested in dating me. They are interested in keeping me at arm's length. Texts don't bring people closer. They push people away by putting up barriers. Most electronics to that. The only valid measure of a person is how they treat you IRL when you are together in person. The rest is pure nonsense. Any person who dumps somebody because they are a boring texter deserves to be alone because such a person has no meaningful understanding of how to foster & maintain a loving interpersonal connection with another human being. If all you get are weekends, cherish those Don't complain about the lack of witty texts during the week 8
jen1447 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 OP, you're entitled to like or dislike texting as much as you want and to place your own value and importance on it in a relationship, so please don't judge this by anyone else's standards. Your concerns are legit in and of the fact that you simply hold them, so don't dismiss them unless you feel personally satisfied about the reasons.
OnlyHonesty Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I said something that I thought was hilarious and he didn't acknowledge it.... Maybe it was just not as funny as you thought it was. Either way, it takes two to tango and It's easy to steer a conversation into a more interesting direction. There is also the possibility, although remote, that your comment was so funny that he fell over on the floor laughing and could not stop for 5 hours and had to seek help.
GorillaTheater Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 This whole thread made me so glad I'm married. If I had to base a relationship on texting, I'd never get another date. Preach it, sister. 5
Gaeta Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 This is so silly. In a couple of years when you have a mortgage to pay, 2 teething crying babies on each hip, a house looking like a battlefield, a dog peeing in the toy box again, a hot water tank breaking down, your in-laws inviting themselves for the weekend, you won't care that much about your husband's boring texting habit. Then you will be glad you went for the man that showed character and not the funny texter. 7
GR4 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I'd echo what others have said here. What a sad state of affairs that people would judge based on someones "text personality". Even that term makes me cringe. Texting is a pretty awful form of communication, it's near the bottom of the list along with morse code and smoke signals. Pick up the phone or wait until you see him in person. This is my gripe with dating these days, it always feels like you're treading on eggshells. Even the slightest of errors sees you being binned off for someone better. 4
fitnessfan365 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 (edited) This would be a deal breaker for me. I need lively, funny texts to keep me interested. Maybe this is why you have such crappy luck in dating ES. I'm not trying to be mean. Simply trying to point out that your priorities seem to be out of whack. I mean let's say you meet a guy that's fantastic in person. Conversations are wonderful, dates are awesome, sex is fantastic, etc.. You feel desired, safe, happy, etc.. Yet he is the most boring texter alive. Would you really ditch the guy simply because of lackluster texting? If you think about it, texting in the long run doesn't matter whatoever compared to actual quality interaction in person. However, people wind up putting so much emphases on it which always results in drama, overthinking, etc.. I mean it's kind of sad that the OP is complaining about texting, when she says that her current BF is the best guy she's ever been with. Priorities.... Edited February 17, 2016 by fitnessfan365 1
jen1447 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 If you think about it, texting in the long run doesn't matter whatoever to me compared to actual quality interaction in person. However, people wind up putting so much emphases on it which always results in drama, overthinking, etc.. I mean it's kind of sad that the OP is complaining about texting, when she says that her current BF is the best and most boring guy she's ever been with. You are entitled to determine your own Priorities.... Fixed that for ya Fitty.
fitnessfan365 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Fixed that for ya Fitty. Haha.. As always I'm flattered by the effort/attention you always put towards me Jen. I mean you could've quoted any number of people in this thread saying the same thing as me. But as always your focus is appreciated.
katiegrl Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 (edited) jen wrote: Originally Posted by fitnessfan365 View Post If you think about it, texting in the long run doesn't matter whatoever to me compared to actual quality interaction in person. However, people wind up putting so much emphases on it which always results in drama, overthinking, etc.. I mean it's kind of sad that the OP is complaining about texting, when she says that her current BF is the best and most boring guy she's ever been with. You are entitled to determine your own Priorities.... Fixed that for ya Fitty. ----------------------- The OP didn't say he was the most boring guy she's ever been with. She said he's the most boring texter she's ever been with. HUGE difference there... and one that has been spelled out numerous times throughout this thread. And lest anyone believes this is some sort of a indicator of whether or not he will become a boring guy (in general/in person)...please think again. Some people are just terrible with the written word. They are clumsy and often times don't know what to say/write via that medium. Awkward. I wouldn't judge his overall personality and nature on the fact he's not the most exciting texter. Sorry, that is just plain silly. Obviously, you re entitled to your opinion....but you are limiting your options and looking at the wrong things (my opinion). Did your read my previous post? I have been with guys who were super exciting texters....really knew how to reel me in via texting. In real life, they were either boring in person.... or fantasy chasers. Disingenuous and phony. Texting is NOT real. That said, if you find him to be boring in person and real life... then clearly you're just not into him and should dump him. But I am not sensing that here.... you just want him to be a more exciting texter. Edited February 17, 2016 by katiegrl 1
SSJROMANCE Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 These are all clues for you that tell you how your life will be with this guy for the rest of your life. Dump him before you lose your mind.
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 But I am not sensing that here.... you just want him to be a more exciting texter. If only they'd had texting when Shakespeare was writing Romeo and Juliet. He could've done away with the balcony scene altogether. I bet Mercutio would have been one hell of an exciting texter. 2
jen1447 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Haha.. As always I'm flattered by the effort/attention you always put towards me Jen. I mean you could've quoted any number of people in this thread saying the same thing as me. But as always your focus is appreciated. If only you'd take the lesson I could finally rest.
katiegrl Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 If only they'd had texting when Shakespeare was writing Romeo and Juliet. He could've done away with the balcony scene altogether. I bet Mercutio would have been one hell of an exciting texter. Disagree, the balcony scene made the whole story!! lol Yah, Shakespeare - great writer, great imagination.... would never go for him in real life. I am too "earthy" for him.... and prefer the same in the men I go out with. No fantasy chasers for me, thanks anyway. :lmao: To each his own though. 1
losangelena Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 If only they'd had texting when Shakespeare was writing Romeo and Juliet. He could've done away with the balcony scene altogether. I bet Mercutio would have been one hell of an exciting texter. Oh, totally! 1
Wewon Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 If only they'd had texting when Shakespeare was writing Romeo and Juliet. He could've done away with the balcony scene altogether. I bet Mercutio would have been one hell of an exciting texter. I bet that moody guy in 50 Shades of Grey was a hell of a texter. 2
hippychick3 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I bet that moody guy in 50 Shades of Grey was a hell of a texter. He was an emailer. But, I'm sure he didn't write boring emails 1
normal person Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 OP, as ridiculous as the whole thing sounds, I think there's some merit to what you're saying. Men communicate primarily to share information. Women do it primarily to bond. My work is intense and I hate getting texted all day with whatever gossip is going on at her office or what she's eating for lunch -- it's just noise. I've got more important things to worry about. That being said, when I do have the chance to oblige, I make a concerned effort to make it interesting and funny because I also dislike boring texts that are completely devoid of personality. That is to say boring purposeless texts are the absolute worst. The best way to go about it is to both exchange information and be entertaining about it. I think if someone doesn't ever take the time (or worse, is just incapable) to articulate themselves or converse with you in a way that's important to you, you have every right to take issue with it. For example, I do a lot of OLD. I've always found a good way of determining who to go out with and who not to is by their profile content, messages, and texting. If it's all generic, vanilla, lacking any sort of personality or originality, then I can't go out with her because she's demonstrating a distinct lack of ability to differentiate herself or entertain the reader in any way. It represents of lack of judgment, awareness, and capability. It's also a pretty good indicator of what she'll be like in person. No thanks. You can't help what irks you. It is what is, and it may be very well indicative of other things about the guy too. I wouldn't look down on you for breaking up with him. Not because it's some "dating sin," but because you can't help what makes you unhappy, or the things you desire, and this is likely indicative of other things about him.
SwordofFlame Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 OP, as ridiculous as the whole thing sounds, I think there's some merit to what you're saying. Men communicate primarily to share information. Women do it primarily to bond. My work is intense and I hate getting texted all day with whatever gossip is going on at her office or what she's eating for lunch -- it's just noise. I've got more important things to worry about. That being said, when I do have the chance to oblige, I make a concerned effort to make it interesting and funny because I also dislike boring texts that are completely devoid of personality. That is to say boring purposeless texts are the absolute worst. The best way to go about it is to both exchange information and be entertaining about it. I think if someone doesn't ever take the time (or worse, is just incapable) to articulate themselves or converse with you in a way that's important to you, you have every right to take issue with it. For example, I do a lot of OLD. I've always found a good way of determining who to go out with and who not to is by their profile content, messages, and texting. If it's all generic, vanilla, lacking any sort of personality or originality, then I can't go out with her because she's demonstrating a distinct lack of ability to differentiate herself or entertain the reader in any way. It represents of lack of judgment, awareness, and capability. It's also a pretty good indicator of what she'll be like in person. No thanks. You can't help what irks you. It is what is, and it may be very well indicative of other things about the guy too. I wouldn't look down on you for breaking up with him. Not because it's some "dating sin," but because you can't help what makes you unhappy, or the things you desire, and this is likely indicative of other things about him. I'm going to disagree here. In my experience, there isn't much correlation based on how well someone communicates via text vs in person. I've seen good texters who are not so good in person and vice versa. 2
Recommended Posts