wick1772 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 (edited) I'm not this kind of person and don't want to be, she destroyed me when she broke up with me. We were together for 6 months, the best 6 months of my life. I've been in quite a few relationships before and never did I really love a woman like this. I wasn't looking for a relationship and was very happy with my life 6 months ago. I had like 3 different booty call girls no feeling no attachments, was perfect, until the day my daughter came home from work who works where I do and said a woman I work with was asking about you and dad I like her and would like you to meet. I was like hmmm... I don't know but was having a party at the house on the 4th of july, so I told her to come and we hung out. My oldest daughter told me not to screw it up because she liked her too. We clicked, talked a lot about relationships and how honesty is priority, trust, told her at any point if you want out just be honest. We dated hard for a month before I said the dreaded "L" word which I never thought I would say again due to bad past endings in relationships, she said she couldn't wait for me to say that and also reciprocated. After that she couldn't stop telling me how much she loves me and how good and right I was for her, every day. Much love making. My world was where I wanted it to be, she was the one!! Then it all changed. Her grandmother who is like her mom to her (because her actual mom is a drunk was never around) was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. A very bad time for her. I told her I was there for her not only for the good times but also the bad, if she needs a shoulder to lean on I have 2. Every thing continued well for us, still all the I love you's all the time. Then New Year's came...we had a party at her Aunt's house and it was a blast. We kissed and toasted at midnight to us then I passed out about 2 am, She stayed up and partied till 4. The next morning I wake up and she had left to run errands. She left a note on the table saying she couldn't wait any longer for me to wake up and she will see me later. XXXOO love you! So, I figured I would have coffee and nurse my hangover. I went downstairs to grab a smoke and there were still family members still going from the night before. I sat and started talk with them. They all said how much they love me and how great I am for her, and then, I was asked if I knew a Jason??. Which I said no, (he) said he doesn't want to see me get hurt and watch my back cuz my ex was crying at 4 am saying her heart is with Jason and my bf is upstairs. Now I'm pissed. I went home asked my oldest daughter do I confront her on this or let it go? She said I have to ask about it so I did. She said it was just drunk talk and I have nothing to worry about. Jason was her ex husband of 13 years. She said he had contacted her because he said he heard about her grandma. Well after New Year's day and I confronted her on this, she became distant saying that she needs space. Then the "I don't feel as strongly with her feelings as I do". Needless to say that was the break up, no closure at all. I wrote a letter to her saying how much I love her and was gonna get her a promise ring on V day. No reply. She works 2nd and I work 1st shift, so I see her in passing. She is cold as ice to me, so confused. So the week after it was over I drive by her house. A car is parked where my truck used to be, for the whole weekend. I'm crushed!! Same the next weekend. It was him, the ex husband, so now I'm digging for info. I went to some close bars and found out from strangers that knew him said he was seeing her while I was at the end of the relationship. Now I'm angry, torn on what to do. I proceed to drink, I know dumb idea!! I looked him up on facebook and proceeded to message him and let him know I was sleeping with his ex-wife for the last six months. I also told him how much she said she loved me. Well apparently, she never told him about us. And she never told me about him. All I wanted was the truth from her and this would have never happened. Needless to say, I think he left her again. Now she texts me saying I'm a low mother ****er and ruined her chances. I was like are you kidding??!! You were cheating on me and you were cheating on him! Was I wrong?? I don't think I was. He was lied to also. The worst thing is, I still love that girl to death, would do anything to have her back Edited February 18, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited for paragraphs ~ V
frigginlost Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Paragraphs are your friend.... Damn that was hard to read! But I did so. Look, some here are going to tell you that you did wrong by your actions of contacting her ex, and some are going to say that what you did was understandable because of the pain. What you need to take away from it is what you already know; she was cheating on both of you. How she feels is a direct connection to what she has done, only she will not accept blame. You see, a cheater is never wrong when found out. It is everybody else who is responsible... That feeling of love you have is going to get worse and it is going to get unbearable at times. You are going to be hit with a sadness and anger you have never felt in the coming weeks and months. Prepare yourself by understanding that these feelings are normal and to not react by lashing out. Accept them and just give yourself time to heal and scar. I was the victim of a cheater... and it sucks. I still have flashbacks and it was 3 years ago and I'm no longer with her. I honestly don't think a cheater will ever understand the emotional turmoil their actions cause even years later... Best of luck to you! And continue to post here for support! 2
Author wick1772 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Posted February 18, 2016 Than you for th reply.I didn't break them up because his car has been there all week. I am letting her go now but uforunately I still love that girl to deat [/QU knowing she is with him kills me inside.I hope it fails so she realizes what she had was better. Cuz he is a jobless loser.
Author wick1772 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Posted February 18, 2016 After the break up I had found out she had only been divorced for 2 years. I don't know what the circumstances were but I do no she had petitioned for the divorce. If I would have known it was only 2 years I might have stayed away because I wasn't ready to be serious 2 years after my divorce.I see her at work in passing and she is as cold as ice to me and I don't know why? Come to find out she was with him a couple of times while we were together.Is she ever gonna leave him again and ever contact me or do I give up? I'm still so very much I love with her.
Mrin Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 Sorry to hear that dude. But this is completely over. Block her. Ignore her. Get her out of your life. 1
moebius Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 She is a totally selfish girl who doesn't care hurting others. She was with you while she wanted to be back with her ex. She didn't warn you about it. She hid a lot of information from you. She let you fall in love with her knowing she was in love with someone else. Which means she knew beforehand she was going to break your heart at some point and she went on anyway. She's a b*tch. 1
sandylee1 Posted February 21, 2016 Posted February 21, 2016 She treated you badly and played with your heart... that's not a nice person in my opinion. I'm sorry you're hurting as you do sound like a good man..such a shame you met this woman. I suggest you ignore her at work..act like you don't know her and walk on by. A person with a good heart just wouldn't do what she did to you. Don't ever be a back up plan for anyone though. 1
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