Guys asking for body photos OLD

[Toodaloo]

Try and look at this from a guy's perspective. In my experience, pretty much every single OLD profile has misleading pics.

 

According to you, a guy has to take a girl out, waste his time and money, just to see what she really looks like? That's a bit much.

 

Apparently I am one of them. Apparently I am way better looking in real life. I don't know if I am told this as a compliment or as a way to get my knickers off or if it is true. I have been told this by all but 1 of the men I have been on dates with. 7/10 times they look at me and their jaw drops and they make comment that I am completely gorgeous. Personally I am not too sure but then I know what I look like with a cold or a hangover and I am fully aware its not at all pretty... But what the heck if they want to be deluded that is fine by me. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all.

 

So if I have to waste my time and money going out and meeting you and finding out if you actually look like your photos (I have been lucky as most are better looking but some have been worse and some have been out and out lies), then on top of that I have to figure out if you are just trying to get in my knickers or if you are some weird guy or if I am safe to carry on dating you... coupled in with expensive perfume and make up (which I buy myself I might point out)... Yeah pass me the ironing pile I am getting into my joggers.

 

If I have to put in the effort and remain open minded. I expect the same in return. Its called equality.

[AMJ]

Try and look at this from a guy's perspective. In my experience, pretty much every single OLD profile has misleading pics. Between using filters on pics, misleading angles and lighting, out of date photos, ect, women's pics online are often very far from reality. If people would take and post accurate pics, men wouldn't be so worried about seeing new ones. It also doesn't help that almost all women seem to err on the side of average or athletic when describing body type. According to you, a guy has to take a girl out, waste his time and money, just to see what she really looks like? That's a bit much.

 

You think that men always look just as great as they do in photos also? Do you need me to tell my own stories of going out with guys who weigh 50 more lbs than their old OLD photos or are shorter than they look like in their photos, or used to be in shape and had muscles but have let that go and are now pretty scrony and tiny? Everyone is guilty of looking better in their photos than they do in real life.

 

People always misrepresent themselves in all kinds of ways in OLD. Seriously is everyone, literally everyone a marathon runner the past year or two? My friends husband, she met him on harmony, wrote on his profile that he loved to go cycling. She now jokes about it because his bike is in the garage collecting dust. He laughs and says, "well I had to write something other than play video games".

 

I have another thread about men posing next to hot girls just to make themselves look more desirable. That's also pretty contrived and deceptive. We talked about how makeup and push-up bras are also deceptive.

 

On one of my profiles I had about six or seven photos. Full body, of different angles, different amounts of makeup, different lighting. This guy writes to me and says- I think you're not real. You look different in every photo. Me- How do I look different? These are all pictures of me, within the last 2 years. Him- IDK you just look like a different person. This exchange just had me confused. I guess I look slightly different in different photos, but seriously, I've never examined my own self, or my own pictures as much as he was clearly doing. I look like what I ****ing look like. It just gets excessive.

 

Everyone in OLD is worried about wasting their time. Trust me, the majority of my OLD experience over several years has been a huge waste of time. Yes, there are some women who are really deceptive. There are some men who are really deceptive also. I've now seen two different men on loveshack asking for how to get professional photos taken.

 

Professional photos!? Those types of photos are completely deceptive. Airbrushed, fancy lighting..people never, ever actually look as good in real life as they do in professional photos. All of my photos were taken with an iPhone.

[AverageJoe1986]

You think that men always look just as great as they do in photos also? Do you need me to tell my own stories of going out with guys who weigh 50 more lbs than their old OLD photos or are shorter than they look like in their photos, or used to be in shape and had muscles but have let that go and are now pretty scrony and tiny? Everyone is guilty of looking better in their photos than they do in real life.

 

People always misrepresent themselves in all kinds of ways in OLD. Seriously is everyone, literally everyone a marathon runner the past year or two? My friends husband, she met him on harmony, wrote on his profile that he loved to go cycling. She now jokes about it because his bike is in the garage collecting dust. He laughs and says, "well I had to write something other than play video games".

 

I have another thread about men posing next to hot girls just to make themselves look more desirable. That's also pretty contrived and deceptive. We talked about how makeup and push-up bras are also deceptive.

 

On one of my profiles I had about six or seven photos. Full body, of different angles, different amounts of makeup, different lighting. This guy writes to me and says- I think you're not real. You look different in every photo. Me- How do I look different? These are all pictures of me, within the last 2 years. Him- IDK you just look like a different person. This exchange just had me confused. I guess I look slightly different in different photos, but seriously, I've never examined my own self, or my own pictures as much as he was clearly doing. I look like what I ****ing look like. It just gets excessive.

 

Everyone in OLD is worried about wasting their time. Trust me, the majority of my OLD experience over several years has been a huge waste of time. Yes, there are some women who are really deceptive. There are some men who are really deceptive also. I've now seen two different men on loveshack asking for how to get professional photos taken.

 

Professional photos!? Those types of photos are completely deceptive. Airbrushed, fancy lighting..people never, ever actually look as good in real life as they do in professional photos. All of my photos were taken with an iPhone.

 

I don't know how it is for men but oddly enough I've always thought that women tend to look far worse in professional, posed photos. Natural iPhone photos are usually far more attractive.

[soleilesquire]

The solution is really simple. If someone doesn't feel comfortable having a full body photo or sending photos...don't do it.

 

But people WILL keep asking, and that is their right. Expecting not to be asked isn't realistic. If a man asks for a full body photo, just say no. But then don;t be upset if he doesn't contact you again. He has a right to want to know if a woman is huge just like a woman has a right not to send photos.

 

Like so many things, this is an example of expecting others to adapt to us. They don't have to. The only person I can control is me.

[preraph]

Maybe you need to get a thicker skin and reframe your thinking.

 

Men are primed to want sex. Tinder was designed as a hookup app. if you are getting lots of attention, then you are successful. If you really get so offended and find it so degrading then I suggest not using it.

 

Personally I'd love some degrading. Just one suggestive message, one comment about my ass! Never got as much as one

 

Josef, in the greater scheme of things, women don't give two craps about your butt. The huge divide here is because that sort of thing seems to be the only criteria men have for women, and women resent it since they're looking for someone with some substance, not someone who would probably be just as happy with the swimsuit issue.

[preraph]

Try and look at this from a guy's perspective. In my experience, pretty much every single OLD profile has misleading pics. Between using filters on pics, misleading angles and lighting, out of date photos, ect, women's pics online are often very far from reality. If people would take and post accurate pics, men wouldn't be so worried about seeing new ones. It also doesn't help that almost all women seem to err on the side of average or athletic when describing body type. According to you, a guy has to take a girl out, waste his time and money, just to see what she really looks like? That's a bit much.

 

It shouldn't be the most important thing to you and if it is, you're not the guy a woman wants, so she's not going to respond well. Yes, I know there's catfish, so that's why I said people need to put up one well clothed body shot, and it should be current, of course, but it doesn't need to be today. It's not the end of your world if you have to buy a perfectly nice woman who grew an inch around the waist since the last photo a drink, coffee, or inexpensive meal. And from what I've heard, middle aged men are the worst offenders to post old photos of themselves. Why? Because they honestly believe they still look like that.

 

Likewise, a lot of women don't respond to fleshy body shots from men because if they do, it's like saying "This is all I care about," and for most women, it's not the main thing and a fully clothed shot to get the general idea and also see how a man puts himself together is more important than if he has 0-6 abs.

[SwordofFlame]

You think that men always look just as great as they do in photos also? Do you need me to tell my own stories of going out with guys who weigh 50 more lbs than their old OLD photos or are shorter than they look like in their photos, or used to be in shape and had muscles but have let that go and are now pretty scrony and tiny? Everyone is guilty of looking better in their photos than they do in real life.

 

People always misrepresent themselves in all kinds of ways in OLD. Seriously is everyone, literally everyone a marathon runner the past year or two? My friends husband, she met him on harmony, wrote on his profile that he loved to go cycling. She now jokes about it because his bike is in the garage collecting dust. He laughs and says, "well I had to write something other than play video games".

 

I have another thread about men posing next to hot girls just to make themselves look more desirable. That's also pretty contrived and deceptive. We talked about how makeup and push-up bras are also deceptive.

 

On one of my profiles I had about six or seven photos. Full body, of different angles, different amounts of makeup, different lighting. This guy writes to me and says- I think you're not real. You look different in every photo. Me- How do I look different? These are all pictures of me, within the last 2 years. Him- IDK you just look like a different person. This exchange just had me confused. I guess I look slightly different in different photos, but seriously, I've never examined my own self, or my own pictures as much as he was clearly doing. I look like what I ****ing look like. It just gets excessive.

 

Everyone in OLD is worried about wasting their time. Trust me, the majority of my OLD experience over several years has been a huge waste of time. Yes, there are some women who are really deceptive. There are some men who are really deceptive also. I've now seen two different men on loveshack asking for how to get professional photos taken.

 

Professional photos!? Those types of photos are completely deceptive. Airbrushed, fancy lighting..people never, ever actually look as good in real life as they do in professional photos. All of my photos were taken with an iPhone.

 

You just stated why everyone should post more photos and not just head only shots or pictures that are deceptive. I agree.

[preraph]

When possible, people should Skype, but they shouldn't have to Skype a full body shot. It's all about priorities and if a man's priorities seem to be solely about body, well, that's just not a man with much substance and it's clear they're only about one thing, and that's getting laid.

[soleilesquire]

Bottom line: it is not my job to decide what priorities someone ELSE should have. Telling men they SHOULDN'T need a full body shot is fruitless.

[joseb]

Josef, in the greater scheme of things, women don't give two craps about your butt. The huge divide here is because that sort of thing seems to be the only criteria men have for women, and women resent it since they're looking for someone with some substance, not someone who would probably be just as happy with the swimsuit issue.

 

I know they don't. It wasn't a serious post

 

Here's my take on OLD

 

You can't tell very much if anything until you meet someone. All the back and forth messaging is of very limited use. You might weed out the real crud, but I don't think you have a hope of seeing if there is any meaningful connection until you meet. Just look at all the stories of people "falling I'm love" online and then realising they have no connection at all in person when they meet.

 

Now the one thing OLD does do if the pics there are accurate, us it gives people a reasonable idea if they are attracted to the person. So I make no bones about the fact that the pics are the most important thing in deciding if you want to meet someone.

 

It's not that I don't look for substance, but that comes later, after meeting.

[joseb]

I don't know how it is for men but oddly enough I've always thought that women tend to look far worse in professional, posed photos. Natural iPhone photos are usually far more attractive.

 

Well, "natural" iPhone pics these days generally have a soft filter automatically applied. Add to that the other filters that are freely available (youthfull, slimming, etc) and you can see why people don't really trust them.