Guys asking for body photos OLD

February 17, 2016

Is this not all just a bit superficial?
OMG she may be a few pounds overweight, how could she deceive me???
People get fat, they can also get thin again, thin people can put on weight too, sometimes lots of it.
All this obsessive avoidance of "fat" people is ridiculous.

Poor Toodaloo posts a full body shot and I guess due to her upper half gets inundated with "fancy a f*ck"... Ugh!
No wonder women do not want to show anything more than a face on OLD.

Don't get us short guys started on how women will judge a guy on his height. At least most people can lose weight if they take it seriously.

February 17, 2016

Do men get asked for full body shots too?

I would have no problem at all sending a full body shirtless pic if women asked for it I'm in very good shape.

February 17, 2016

Is this not all just a bit superficial?
OMG she may be a few pounds overweight, how could she deceive me???
People get fat, they can also get thin again, thin people can put on weight too, sometimes lots of it.
All this obsessive avoidance of "fat" people is ridiculous.

Poor Toodaloo posts a full body shot and I guess due to her upper half gets inundated with "fancy a f*ck"... Ugh!
No wonder women do not want to show anything more than a face on OLD.

I really think you're out of touch with the amount of deception in OLD profiles from obese women. We're not talking oh, she's 150 or 160. We're talking oh, she's 220.

As much as you want to call that shallow, it's a truth for both genders. Get over it.

February 17, 2016

Don't get us short guys started on how women will judge a guy on his height. At least most people can lose weight if they take it seriously.

Exactly and that is why judging on weight is a bit silly.

OK, you want a girl with legs that go on forever or you want a guy who is 6" 2', those are attributes no-one can change.

But a person's weight can change, for the better or worse, so giving weight a high priority isn't very sensible.

February 17, 2016

But someone who is 220lbs will not have a normal face, they will have a fat face, so hardly a surprise surely?

February 17, 2016

Women get flooded with messages, many of which are obnoxious. That is part of online dating for women. All they have to do is ignore the bad ones. It isn't the end of the world. It is MUCH better than getting almost no messages, and putting work into constructing messages to many women, hoping for a response.

No wonder women do not want to show anything more than a face on OLD.

Dealing with obnoxious guys is part of the game.
If deleting a few messages is just too hard for them, they really should examine whether online dating is for them.
I don't really ask for full body shots, but I just assume any woman with myspace selfies, I just assume she's not just big, but overweight AND insecure about it. I think for me, I don't mind a girl that's chubby, just so long as she is happy with who she is and that she is smaller than me.

For me it is about her outlook on life, not about a number on a scale as stated above is she happy? But profiles from women who are grossly insecure with the ALL CAPS ranting about how horrible dudes are and how they don’t understand why a second date never occurred or why he ghosted.

You can clearly tell which dudes are serious but you can’t start anything with deception. Lying about, job, lifestyle or weight. I don’t participate in OLD to be anyone’s guidance counselor or fitness trainer.

You can be heavier but be perfectly healthy, eat healthy, active engaged. But let’s be blunt, when we see someone for the first time that animal part should be engaged and if not it has no chance of succeeding.

I really think you're out of touch with the amount of deception in OLD profiles from obese women. We're not talking oh, she's 150 or 160. We're talking oh, she's 220.
As much as you want to call that shallow, it's a truth for both genders. Get over it.

Many women just don’t get it. Ladies put up a fake dude profile and see for yourself. Women are FAR more deceptive than the average guy.

February 17, 2016

Poor Toodaloo posts a full body shot and I guess due to her upper half gets inundated with "fancy a f*ck"... Ugh!
No wonder women do not want to show anything more than a face on OLD.

Imagine Jessicca Rabbit shape. Big on top big below hardly anything in the middle.

I am that shape when I am fat. I am that shape when I am thin.

I don't wear nice clothes very often at all. Jeans and a baggy jumper, which yes makes me look fat, but at least I avoid perv's that way...

If I wear a dress or skirt with close fitting shirt or top? I have had pubs go silent and stare when I walk in. Its embarrassing. Also managing to get clothes that actually fit is a nightmare so most shopping trips end up with me in tears. Not really exciting and completely depressing. Having random strangers salivating over that and telling me what they want to do on top of the daily hassle? Forget it.

So I chose a long time ago to save my body for the person who will appropriate it and earn it.

I know people put curvy as a substitute for fat on their profiles - I do because anything else would be a lie.

Yes I will be considered fat by some. But they are not for me anyway.

I find going to gyms and stuff like running very painful - no a sports bra does not help it just wastes even more money - so I do not do as much as I would like and instead focus on things like walking (yet another activity code for fat) and my rowing machine etc.

Different strokes for different folks...

February 17, 2016

Exactly and that is why judging on weight is a bit silly.
OK, you want a girl with legs that go on forever or you want a guy who is 6" 2', those are attributes no-one can change.
But a person's weight can change, for the better or worse, so giving weight a high priority isn't very sensible.

Dating someone hoping they will lose weight is not a good idea. I'm sure some of the posters here can agree. In fact, weight tends to go up, not down.

February 17, 2016

Dating someone hoping they will lose weight is not a good idea. I'm sure some of the posters here can agree. In fact, weight tends to go up, not down.

Very true.

I am still not posting full body pics...

February 17, 2016

I disagree. I'm a very sporty and fit girl and if I did OLD I would also have liked to see a full body picture of the guy prior to meeting him. It's a matter of compatibility. I could never a date a man who doesn't work out and doesn't have an active lifestyle, so being fat is a huuuuge dealbraker to me. Because I am not attracted to overweight and because while I love to spend my sundays for example on exercising/being active, an overweight person clearly does not. Sounds harsh, but that's the truth and I am sure men feel the same.

I agree with you depgirl. I may not look like Barbie but I'm fit and have been my whole life.

Guys Who wouldn't make the cut:

Guys under 6ft.

Heavy guys.

Guys who look too old. Too many wrinkles and sagging skin would be a turn-off.

Is this superficial? Yeah. But I'd rather sit at home alone then date someone I'm not attracted to.

February 17, 2016

Dating someone hoping they will lose weight is not a good idea. I'm sure some of the posters here can agree. In fact, weight tends to go up, not down.

what it is is what you get. Own it. If you don't love yourself and aren't proud of yourself, nobody else will for you.

I am all for full body shots and disclosing height and education level. It is not about discrimination, it is about having common interests, hobbies and discussion topics. It is not just about the body or face pics, it is also about your expression and what it is that you do in those pics, the context. Face selfies only? I don't even bother reading the profile.

I appreciate that in the US it may be very different, in this part of the world, there is a huge difference between free and paid - highly expensive paid OLD sites.

February 17, 2016

what it is is what you get. Own it. If you don't love yourself and aren't proud of yourself, nobody else will for you.

I am all for full body shots and disclosing height and education level. It is not about discrimination, it is about having common interests, hobbies and discussion topics. It is not just about the body or face pics, it is also about your expression and what it is that you do in those pics, the context. Face selfies only? I don't even bother reading the profile.

I appreciate that in the US it may be very different, in this part of the world, there is a huge difference between free and paid - highly expensive paid OLD sites.

Actually, If I was single I'd do the meet-up stuff it sounds safer. But I'd probably meet people on OLD and ask them to Skype and just have video chat dates. LOL. This way nobody has to pay for anything and I don't have to leave the house. I can fold my laundry or clean the bathroom on the date as well. I could have five Skype dates in one day and get all my housework done!

February 17, 2016

But someone who is 220lbs will not have a normal face, they will have a fat face, so hardly a surprise surely?

I'm sure there is a difference between a 220 lb face and a 120 lb face. The problem I have is that I'm not picky on weight as much, but there is a line for me. So it may be easy to tell a fat girl from a skinny girl, but certain photos (angle, date, etc..) can easily hide 40 lbs or more. I might date a 160 lb girl, but not a 200 lb one.

February 17, 2016

Very true.

I am still not posting full body pics...

No one is forcing you to. However, if you complain about quality on dates, we are explaininv why that may be. You are screening out quality.

February 17, 2016

No one is forcing you to. However, if you complain about quality on dates, we are explaininv why that may be. You are screening out quality.

Quality.

Quality men are not all slim gym bunnies. Well not in my book anyway.

In my book a quality man treats you with dignity and respect. Asking for a bunch of pics so they can spend time with their special sock is not "quality" in my book.

The "quality" of my dates went up after I took the one and only full body shot down...

February 17, 2016

How about using for your one body a photo of you standing with your dad, who looks like he'd take apart the first man who was rude to his daughter?

Haha..well I'd need to borrow a dad for this, but it's not a terrible idea.

February 17, 2016

Quality.

Asking for a bunch of pics so they can spend time with their special sock is not "quality" in my book.

If they're asking for a bunch of photos chances are they're using them for...well y'know.

But I think a picture in a simple fit and flare sundress in a garden is a nice "good girl" picture to have and shows off curves without looking too sexual.

February 17, 2016

If they're asking for a bunch of photos chances are they're using them for...well y'know.

But I think a picture in a simple fit and flare sundress in a garden is a nice "good girl" picture to have and shows off curves without looking too sexual.

Urm no...

Fit and flare?

When you have a true Jessicca Rabbit figure you will know that that is a complete and utter NO GO area. We have one choice. Fitted or completely f***ed.

Anything frilly, anything like those gorgeous loose dresses that seem to be all the rage... forget it.

February 17, 2016

Calling BS on The OP .

Treat yourself like a piece of meat and so Will The rest of the world. Since quality of your dates is such a big deal, go to an expensive OLD site and yes, upload not one but several full body & close up pics. Not stading there, but doing activites you enjoy, to convey not just a body image but a sense of your personality.

Just like women don't respond to men uploading one pic, it's only fair women won't get picked up or contacted by quality men because they also feel The need to be reassured. Paid OLD is much much better than free dating sites.

Not sure what you mean by BS- as if I'm lying about my experiences with OLD??

I'm on eharmony- is that not the most expensive site? And right now it's crickets. I've had that account for over a year now, and it's resulted in dates with three different guys, two of which were a disaster.

I'm also on free sites. I've been doing OLD on and off since 2008.

How exactly am I treating myself like a piece of meat?

February 17, 2016

Urm no...

Fit and flare?

When you have a true Jessicca Rabbit figure you will know that that is a complete and utter NO GO area. We have one choice. Fitted or completely f***ed.

Anything frilly, anything like those gorgeous loose dresses that seem to be all the rage... forget it.

You have to do what is right for you. I don't have a Jessica Rabbit figure; I'm shaped more like Beyonce and know how to dress my body.

Edited February 17, 2016 by Summer3

February 17, 2016

Imagine Jessicca Rabbit shape. Big on top big below hardly anything in the middle.

I am that shape when I am fat. I am that shape when I am thin.

I don't wear nice clothes very often at all. Jeans and a baggy jumper, which yes makes me look fat, but at least I avoid perv's that way...

If I wear a dress or skirt with close fitting shirt or top? I have had pubs go silent and stare when I walk in. Its embarrassing. Also managing to get clothes that actually fit is a nightmare so most shopping trips end up with me in tears. Not really exciting and completely depressing. Having random strangers salivating over that and telling me what they want to do on top of the daily hassle? Forget it.

So I chose a long time ago to save my body for the person who will appropriate it and earn it.

I know people put curvy as a substitute for fat on their profiles - I do because anything else would be a lie.

Yes I will be considered fat by some. But they are not for me anyway.

I find going to gyms and stuff like running very painful - no a sports bra does not help it just wastes even more money - so I do not do as much as I would like and instead focus on things like walking (yet another activity code for fat) and my rowing machine etc.

Different strokes for different folks...

It's nice to know I'm not alone! I really didn't intend for this thread to become a "bashing obese people" and "these are reasons why body type matters to me" discussion. I don't mean to misrepresent myself, my body shape, or anything else like that. I want to be with a man who loves me and my body, of course. I'm not insecure about my body, and I think I look great.

But to all the men who've said "why can't you just delete the creepy messages and move on"...I'm trying to think of a way to help you understand how this can be really degrading and damaging over time. I'm sure some of you wouldn't mind if say, women were constantly asking you how big your penis was. But what if that was the only thing they wanted to know about you? If you're only OLD to find casual sex, then you may not mind. But if you're actually looking for a relationship, and women are constantly treating you like your penis is the only thing you have to offer, eventually it makes the whole process really discouraging.

And it's not so much the guys who right away send you a creepy message. Its the ones who start out talking to you like a normal person but then say- so, what size are your tits? You guys see big boobs and your brains turn to mush.

February 17, 2016

Oh, the messages I got on Tinder were completely disgusting. This was with a body shot.

Consider the source though. Tinder was designed to be a HOOK UP app. So of course you're going to get that type of stuff on there. Go on YouTube and you'll find countless "Tinder horror story" videos. Why? People too cheap to sign up for paid online dating sites are trying to use it for actual romance..LOL

Now as a guy that's been "Catfished" countless times by massively obese women claiming to have "athletic and toned" or "curvy" body types I do sympathize w/guys wanting full body pictures. However, women these days can do magical things with camera angles and Photoshop to make themselves look drastically different than in person. It's pretty crazy. If I ever become single again and go back to OLD, I'm going to start Skyping and/or Face Timing with someone before I meet to see what they actually look like in real time..LOL

February 17, 2016

Yeah with mighty pen. I don't really ask for full body shots, but I just assume any woman with myspace selfies, I just assume she's not just big, but overweight AND insecure about it.

I think for me, I don't mind a girl that's chubby, just so long as she is happy with who she is and that she is smaller than me.

The one girl I met of OKC that had a bunch of face only shots ended up being larger than me and even had photoshopped those ones to cover bad acne and facial complexion.

We had a nice time, but in the end, she never got a second thought from me after the hug good bye. It just ends in disappointment for those ladies and they set themselves up for it. There are men out there who want women like that, don't believe me, google BBW. There are men out there who like the opposite, there's nothing wrong with avoiding wastes of time.

Any woman on this site has argued that point on more than one occasion I'm sure. Whether it's absolute or relative, looks matter to everyone and you're in denial if you think otherwise.

To me, this is kind of the central argument for why everyone, women and men, should have a full-body shot on their OLD profile.

I think it actually BENEFITS (most) people, because as LR says, there's someone for everyone. If a 250-lb. women tries to foist herself off as a 180-lb. woman (or smaller), she's doing herself a disservice. As a woman who used to weigh more than 300 pounds, I can tell you the fear that, "no one will like me," is real, but one must present themselves as honestly as possible, or else you'll never attract those who would truly be attracted to you.

This happened to me once, actually. I saw a guy's profile and thought he was quite cute. We ended up meeting for coffee, and when he showed up, he was at least 60 pounds heavier than his photo. Conversationally, he was pretty engaging, so we went out about four times, but I could never get over the fact that he was so deceptive with his photo. For me, it wasn't so much about the weight, because I'm attracted to a wide range of male bodies, but it was more that the image he presented was SO DIFFERENT from who showed up on that first date. As a dating strategy, it is lame, lame, lame.

February 17, 2016

Urm no...

Fit and flare?

When you have a true Jessicca Rabbit figure you will know that that is a complete and utter NO GO area. We have one choice. Fitted or completely f***ed.

Anything frilly, anything like those gorgeous loose dresses that seem to be all the rage... forget it.

I hear you! I hate buying clothes. Anyone with curves nowadays is screwed. And for all the people who suggest that I'm dressing like a slut in my photos, which is why I'm encouraging dirty messages from guys...it's nearly impossible to hide large boobs and curvy hips. One photo I used was me in a T-shirt at a baseball game, and this guy I talked to somehow could guess my actual bra size. The shirt was really dark and picked that photo specifically because it downplayed my boobs, because I'm tired of being objectified.

Sure, I guess I could go wear a tent or something unflattering, but wouldn't that defeat the purpose of men trying to see my body in a photo? Or someone on here said I should wear "conservative dress pants"...I should wear something that reflects me and my style! I'm not going to dress like my grandmother.

February 17, 2016

Quality.

Quality men are not all slim gym bunnies. Well not in my book anyway.

In my book a quality man treats you with dignity and respect. Asking for a bunch of pics so they can spend time with their special sock is not "quality" in my book.

The "quality" of my dates went up after I took the one and only full body shot down...

I'm not a gym rat. I can't even go to the gym now.

Your perception of quality is interesting. If it works for you, why are you here complaining?

I explained why body shots are necessary, as have others. Do what you wish.

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Guys asking for body photos OLD

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