Mugen Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I can't tell if there is some reason my gf doesn't really kiss me unless we are intimate or if it's just how she is. When I leave for the evening, she usually just gives me a peck or two on the lips. I sometimes make it a point to push a bit more of a kiss, but I can tell she's not really digging it most of the time. She has on occasion just grabbed me and kissed me amazingly, but I'd say that rolls about once a month. Otherwise, the only time we kiss is when we're ****ing. I kind of don't like that coldness.
yxalitis Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Sounds to me like she's physically attracted, bit not emotionally. How long have you been together? "When you leave for the evening" meaning? You don't stay overnight?
Larryville Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Guys are typically knocked for not kissing but when a woman doesn’t…. Anyone in a good relationship are most certainly experiencing good kissing. A healthy and intimate relationship simply cannot survive without a regular dose of kissing. It sets the tone for everything else in the relationship. Kissing is not a quick fix that will lead to any kind of authentic and long-lasting depth in a marriage or relationship but it is a barometer and a very effective device to promote and encourage intimacy. I sound like a broken record… said this a few threads already but if your significant other is not kissing you on a regular basic they are not that into you. OR... there are “mouth or breath” issues with one or the other.
carhill Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Yeah, sounds like the hormones roll in once a month and the sex drive ramps up and oral is a part of that, then it ramps down to idle and the only time otherwise is when things get revved up sexually. She might be what I call a splitter, someone who splits off sex from emotional attachment and affection. If she rarely displays PDAs with loved ones, she could simply be averse to PDAs like kissing, except when sexually turned on. I was married to a splitter (she openly admitted it) and experienced some of what you posted about. In some ways it made measuring the emotional attachment a bit easier. That can be a good thing I guess, even if sometimes painful. I'd say enjoy the sex and, if desiring a combination partner, seek out someone who enjoys non-sexual affection as a product of emotional attachment, elsewhere.
Author Mugen Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 We've been together a few months. I am not sure if it has always been like this or if I am now just noticing it. We don't stay the night often, but we live in the same apartment complex and most of the weekend nights we stay together. We were having sex everyday and then I temporarily moved in with her and it slowed to once in every three. About a month ago, she had an abortion (her choice as a result of our failed contraceptive) and has been bleeding ever since and maybe I notice it now because our sexual activity has been severely reduced. Maybe she's avoiding it as to not get turned on. She did tell me recently that she didn't feel very sexy. Should I ask/say anything to her? I don't want to seem needy.
yxalitis Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Should I ask/say anything to her? I don't want to seem needy. Yes, it's not needy, it's part of any healthy relationship.
abby_tx Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Your gf sounds a lot like me. I will kiss if we're making out, but an exit is usually just a peck if I remember to do so or if he initiates it. It has NOTHING to do with my level of emotional investment. It's just not something I think about. Perhaps because I was raised in a family that wasn't very touchy feely. Who knows. Please don't fault it for her. Maybe initiate it for a while and see if she starts doing the same later on once she realizes how great it is. Another reason could be she doesn't want the kissing to turn her on when she knows isex can't follow. I don't like super passionate kisses on our way out as it just leaves me all hot, bothered, and frustrated. 1
ses Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 The abortion might still be in her mind, and I can imagine the bleeding would not only be a buzzkill but also uncomfortable and possibly painful. Similar to a menstrual period, she may be experiencing a fluctuation in her hormones, also. If she continues bleeding for a few more weeks I would schedule a follow-up appointment with the clinic and her gynecologist to discuss her concerns and other birth control options. Just give her time and be patient. An abortion is still a medical procedure and she may need time to recover. 2
amaysngrace Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 My daughter didn't kiss me bye when she went to the concert but she better make it up to me by giving me one of those brownies she baked.
WhirlwindGuy Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 My girlfriend comes from a very conservative culture where PDA, hugging, handholding, kissing, etc isn't really common. She has started coming around and being more comfortable with it, but I find I am the one initiating most of the time. She has commented numerous times that she isn't used to it, but she loves how affectionate I am, and she doesn't want me to stop.
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