Has anyone ended their relationship from lack of commitment?

[MaryJaneDoe]

I feel as though this is a pretty common thing but what I am looking to hear is stories from users if they broke up over not being engaged or married. If so, what was the end result, did you wind up getting married in the end, or did you end like the movie "The Break Up" where you don't speak anymore?

 

 

Would love to hear, please share!

[mightycpa]

I feel as though this is a pretty common thing but what I am looking to hear is stories from users if they broke up over not being engaged or married. If so, what was the end result, did you wind up getting married in the end, or did you end like the movie "The Break Up" where you don't speak anymore?

 

 

Would love to hear, please share!

When I was 24, my GF dumped me because I didn't want to marry her at that time. To be clear, I didn't want to get married at that point in my life.

 

We said goodbye over about a 6 month period, and I haven't seen her since. I don't miss her one bit, and I'm sure she pines over me all the time.

 

I think this is very natural. And you probably don't want to be one of those women in a 10 year relationship whose man ditches her for someone new. So, I don't blame my old GF for dumping me. I wasn't ready, and judging from my reaction, I had a few oats left to sow.

 

You can't go wrong looking out for yourself.

[Brando]

The last one dumped me after 2 years. She never said it was because I wouldn't marry her or ask her to get married....but it was. We were both 30 and I had been married, divorced, engaged to another, left her because I didn't want to get married and I have a 3 year old daughter.

 

Anyway, she is 30, no kid, never engaged or married. Her little sister is engaged and has wedding plans. Reflecting, she put every sign in the universe in front of my face that she wanted to get a ring from me. They all went right over my head haha. She made me admire a promise ring from a previous guy haha, told me stories how her family keeps saying she better find someone to marry her lol. There was a million more hints.

 

By time I got them it was too late and she dumped me citing a few reasons, but the one that stood out was "I feel like I'm wasting my time and this isn't going anywhere." She wanted a ring and was jealous 2 girls before her got them.

 

She walked. I let her. I think I would have settled down with her, but she didn't like that it took breaking up with me to see that. Now we don't talk...

[MaryJaneDoe]

The last one dumped me after 2 years. She never said it was because I wouldn't marry her or ask her to get married....but it was. We were both 30 and I had been married, divorced, engaged to another, left her because I didn't want to get married and I have a 3 year old daughter.

 

Anyway, she is 30, no kid, never engaged or married. Her little sister is engaged and has wedding plans. Reflecting, she put every sign in the universe in front of my face that she wanted to get a ring from me. They all went right over my head haha. She made me admire a promise ring from a previous guy haha, told me stories how her family keeps saying she better find someone to marry her lol. There was a million more hints.

 

By time I got them it was too late and she dumped me citing a few reasons, but the one that stood out was "I feel like I'm wasting my time and this isn't going anywhere." She wanted a ring and was jealous 2 girls before her got them.

 

She walked. I let her. I think I would have settled down with her, but she didn't like that it took breaking up with me to see that. Now we don't talk...

 

What! Why didn't you reach out to her?

[Brando]

I did. She's not having it. She's went NC on me lol. She told me she shouldn't have to break up with someone to make them see they want to be with her. I think the lack of my "progressing the relationship" contributed to her detachment and probably lost feelings toward the end.

 

She will probably be the one that got away haha. Such is life...she knows how to get ahold of me..

[MaryJaneDoe]

I did. She's not having it. She's went NC on me lol. She told me she shouldn't have to break up with someone to make them see they want to be with her. I think the lack of my "progressing the relationship" contributed to her detachment and probably lost feelings toward the end.

 

She will probably be the one that got away haha. Such is life...she knows how to get a hold of me..

Shame, you should of sent her 3 dozen roses at home and at work, (that's a total of 6 dozen) write her and tell her how badly you ****ed up!

 

You could be right about the feelings, but how awful would it be going the rest of your life feeling like she was the one that got away?

[Brando]

I told her how I felt after the fact. She's checked out. My window of opportunity....closed lol. She made her mind up when she went NC. Now I have to follow her lead.

 

Coulda, shoulda, woulda, but I sometimes think if it was meant to be I would have proposed or picked up on her hints....but I didn't....maybe for a reason?

[d0nnivain]

I lived with a guy for 10 years. Every time I'd pull away over not getting a commitment he'd give me a little tiny bit more.

 

 

When I finally realized that he was never going to marry me & I actually said the words, I want to break up he chased me with more breadcrumbs, offered to buy a house, even talked about where he had been thinking about proposing but never actually did. I walked. He chased for a short time but I was too angry to hear anything he had to say. I later learned he called my parents & friends a lot. They never told me.

 

 

Two plus years after we broke up I found out his dad was in the hospital & called to offer my assistance. We talked for over an hour. He promised he'd call if anything changed. I had to read about his dad's death in the paper. I called again to see if I should go to the funeral. Eventually his SIL told me not to come because it was too far (2+ hour drive) but that my EX would call me when things settled down. That was 10 years ago. He still hasn't called.

 

 

Ironically I spoke to him last week. We happened to be in the same place at the same time. He said some pretty strange things including that he wanted to "be friends" and that he wanted to double date with me & my husband & him & his GF. I declined.

[Brando]

When I finally realized that he was never going to marry me & I actually said the words, I want to break up he chased me with more breadcrumbs, offered to buy a house, even talked about where he had been thinking about proposing but never actually did. I walked. He chased for a short time but I was too angry to hear anything he had to say. I later learned he called my parents & friends a lot. They never told me.

 

 

Yup. This paragraph pretty much explain me. Lol, oh well.

[d0nnivain]

Brando

 

 

the roses might not have worked. My guy sent them. They made me angry not happy because in the 12 years we were together he'd only ever gotten me flowers on 1 prior occasion. It annoyed me that I only got them after we broke up. I was so angry I was completely closed off to everything he tried.

[Brando]

Brando

 

 

the roses might not have worked. My guy sent them. They made me angry not happy because in the 12 years we were together he'd only ever gotten me flowers on 1 prior occasion. It annoyed me that I only got them after we broke up. I was so angry I was completely closed off to everything he tried.

 

 

Ya. They probably wouldn't have. I don't think anything would have after the fact. She didn't like that the breakup was my wake up. Move on time for me. I'm doing quite well actually. I feel good and have accepted everything. Little things sometimes trigger some emotions and I wish it played out differently, but life is life and I learned a lot from her. Take my lessons and apply them in the future.

[mrs rubble]

I gave my eldest son's dad the ultimatum, he refused to marry me and we split up. We remain friends nearly 20years later. He has never married and has only had one long term girlfriend who was foriegn and needed to get married to stay in the country- he refused to marry her too.

I've been married once and am now engaged to my second husband to be.

[countingstarsagain]

i broke up with my long-term live-in boyfriend of 5 years because of this. i always felt like cared less about the relationship than i did, and when he got a job across the country and told me he doesn't want to get married, i didn't hesitate to let him go. he's been gone nearly a year now. we haven't spoken since. i still haven't completely moved on, but i'm on my way. i'm very proud of myself for being able to be strong and make the best decision for me and not just follow him out of fear. best of luck.

[ksol9]

I went through this. It was as recent as yesterday. We broke up yesterday because I have been pressuring him about the future of our relationship. It became too overwhelming for him. He never said he didn't want to have more children until yesterday when he said he had decided to end the relationship. He said he already has 3 children and doesn't want to have one with me. His youngest is 10, 13, and 18. He was always telling to have faith in him, focus on the future, let us grow. I wouldn't let him breathe. He couldn't handle it and he realized there is no way he would want to have more children especially with our relationship in the condition it was in. It is important to me to have children and to marry. He is in a total different place in life than I am.

 

I am devastated. I want him back. I want to try. I want to continue the relationship. I don't care what his reasons are. Love conquers all obstacles. I told him yesterday that I understood his reasons and that I agree. I was cordial and I also told him I don't want to lose the relationship. That I didn't want to move out, but I felt it was best. We need to be apart for us to really see if we want to live without eachother. We need to see if we truly appreciate one another. I need to see that. I have not contacted him and as much as I want to, I won't. I'm going to give this some time to sink in for both of us. Sometimes marriage and children are deal breakers in relationships. I am 31 and time is ticking so i do think it is best for us to separate if that is what he truly wants. Honestly, I think he was willing to compromise until we started having problems. The problems had us both miserable. It was bound to happen. My only hope is that with time he will reconsider. The likelihood of that is slim though. He's stubborn and I feel that he has made up his mind

Edited February 19, 2016 by ksol9

[Miss Peach]

I had one guy who couldn't tell me he loved me or wanted anything from me no matter how long I knew him. But he was happy to pass time with me. I eventually wanted more and broke it off telling him what we had no longer worked for me.

 

When I look back I am happy he wasn't trying to lock me down. I would have settled big time to be with him.

[MaryJaneDoe]

I went through this. It was as recent as yesterday. We broke up yesterday because I have been pressuring him about the future of our relationship. It became too overwhelming for him. He never said he didn't want to have more children until yesterday when he said he had decided to end the relationship. He said he already has 3 children and doesn't want to have one with me. His youngest is 10, 13, and 18. He was always telling to have faith in him, focus on the future, let us grow. I wouldn't let him breathe. He couldn't handle it and he realized there is no way he would want to have more children especially with our relationship in the condition it was in. It is important to me to have children and to marry. He is in a total different place in life than I am.

 

I am devastated. I want him back. I want to try. I want to continue the relationship. I don't care what his reasons are. Love conquers all obstacles. I told him yesterday that I understood his reasons and that I agree. I was cordial and I also told him I don't want to lose the relationship. That I didn't want to move out, but I felt it was best. We need to be apart for us to really see if we want to live without eachother. We need to see if we truly appreciate one another. I need to see that. I have not contacted him and as much as I want to, I won't. I'm going to give this some time to sink in for both of us. Sometimes marriage and children are deal breakers in relationships. I am 31 and time is ticking so i do think it is best for us to separate if that is what he truly wants. Honestly, I think he was willing to compromise until we started having problems. The problems had us both miserable. It was bound to happen. My only hope is that with time he will reconsider. The likelihood of that is slim though. He's stubborn and I feel that he has made up his mind

 

 

Yikes! I hope you aren't serious in thinking he will reconsider. He is flat out telling you he does not want more children, and quite honestly, I can imagine after 3 hes been there done that. You need to make a choice, what do you love more, him, or your dream of having children?

 

If you pick him, will you be able to manage not having children and being ok with it?

[ScienceGal]

I had one guy who couldn't tell me he loved me or wanted anything from me no matter how long I knew him. But he was happy to pass time with me. I eventually wanted more and broke it off telling him what we had no longer worked for me.

 

When I look back I am happy he wasn't trying to lock me down. I would have settled big time to be with him.

 

Same here!

[ksol9]

Yikes! I hope you aren't serious in thinking he will reconsider. He is flat out telling you he does not want more children, and quite honestly, I can imagine after 3 hes been there done that. You need to make a choice, what do you love more, him, or your dream of having children?

 

If you pick him, will you be able to manage not having children and being ok with it?

 

I've had a lot of time to think. I think the option for me to pick is off the table. I would be doing a huge disservice to myself if I were to contact him. What we both need is time. I need time away from him and the children and he needs time also. After our last conversation on the day I went to move out, he seemed very cold and sure about his decision. I kept saying I hope you're sure about your decision and he kept saying I hope I am too. His son contacted me yesterday. We had a brief conversation and I decided afterwards that if they were to contact me, I will not speak to them. As much as it hurts me, I have to go nc completely. I need to allow time to take its course. What is meant to be will be. I hope deep down inside that he will change his mind, but that has to come from. It can not be promoted by me. This is up to him.

[candie13]

dated a dude for 7 years, last 4 were LD. was waiting for a ring. told him about it. Ring never came. I dumped him. We got back together then I broke up again. He came back with a ring. IT was lame. Ring was Cartier, though. Stayed strong, but felt horribly guilty. Took me years to get over the guilt.

 

Anyway, I know I made the right decision. We broke up 6 years ago. The dude still maintains contact every few week/ months. Some men are weird.

Edited February 21, 2016 by candie13

[ilovemefirst]

yep, i dated a guy for 6 months. He kept saying he was afraid to commit and that he didnt want a serious relationship. I held on for a while in hopes he would change his mind. But then towards the end, i walked away and went NC immediately. I started dating someone else, who was my rebound, but fell for my rebound. My attention diverted to the new guy and i guess he sensed it ( which always happens btw)..one month later, he texts me ...first time i was hearing from him since the BU, and i ignored it..then he calls me..i told him i was seeing someone else..he said he really misssed me and wanted to try again..clearly he was ignoring that i was seeing someone else.I did not take him back of course...but three years later today, he still tells me i was the one that got away.