towch Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 honest disclosure: If it is what it is (penpal), i have no problem whatsoever with and that is the God's honest truth. Story: So my girlfriend plays words with friends on her phone. So a conversation started up with this guy, no i didn't snoop, (she told me herself, telling me she didn't know the app had a IM function). that he messaged her because she played some big words and he was impressed. I was like ohh cool. But i noticed that she kept on playing him over and over and chatting too. This guy lives in the UK and is in a LDR with someone in the US. now the conversation has migrated to Whatsapp now and according to her he is her pen pal. Why do i feel the way i do? 1. I am a strong believer of treating people how you would be treated thus i feel is i was the one messaging a girl there would have been hell to pay. 2. We are both in bed and she will be messaging this guy. I feel even if we are laying down for the night, have some respect and not talk to some guy at night while even laying beside me. I feel disrespected, should i feel this way?
PegNosePete Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Whether you should feel that way or not, the fact is, you do. Have you talked to her about it? Have you told her how it makes you feel when you're in bed together and she is chatting to another guy?
joseb Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Personally, I wouldn't like it. What you describe is pretty similar to what a lot of people are calling a relationship these days (there are a number of posts about "breaking up" with people the posters have never even met) How is your relationship otherwise? Does she know this is disrespectfull to you?
PogoStick Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 (edited) First, it just shows the silliness of your generation by having/needing to be messaging, even in bed! Damn girls, put down the fking phone once in a while! Hell, girls even text their friends during dates with new guys. The disrespect isn't communicating with someone half way around the world. What's the harm/fear in that? The disrespect is just with basic etiquette. edit: A key concept here is "Presence". Forget the bed, I'd be annoyed if my gf is constantly texting at dinner, or while watching a movie. Be PRESENT when spending time with someone. Otherwise, why bother getting together in the first place? Edited February 16, 2016 by PogoStick 2
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 The fact that she chooses a virtual conversation with him over a real encounter with you while the two of you are in bed is a huge problem. If her behavior doesn't change your relationship isn't long for this world.
Author towch Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 Personally, I wouldn't like it. What you describe is pretty similar to what a lot of people are calling a relationship these days (there are a number of posts about "breaking up" with people the posters have never even met) How is your relationship otherwise? Does she know this is disrespectful to you? Considering that she asked me to tell a friend, who i wasn't actively talking to...to stop messaging me at night. she just sends random messages mostly about politics and job search. we went to school together, same major same classes. most of her messages are open ended and don't require a response. we don't talk about personal stuff and the messages are open for gf to see. So based on her reaction to someone i don't all that talk to, i am sure she knows it's disrespectful.
Author towch Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 First, it just shows the silliness of your generation by having/needing to be messaging, even in bed! Damn girls, put down the fking phone once in a while! Hell, girls even text their friends during dates with new guys. The disrespect isn't communicating with someone half way around the world. What's the harm/fear in that? The disrespect is just with basic etiquette. edit: A key concept here is "Presence". Forget the bed, I'd be annoyed if my gf is constantly texting at dinner, or while watching a movie. Be PRESENT when spending time with someone. Otherwise, why bother getting together in the first place? The bolded stuff
mikeylo Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I doubt anyone would be fine with this except the ones doing it themselves. If one has to tell the other that it is disrespectful, they are not suitable for you anyway.
Summer3 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 First, it just shows the silliness of your generation by having/needing to be messaging, even in bed! Damn girls, put down the fking phone once in a while! Hell, girls even text their friends during dates with new guys. The disrespect isn't communicating with someone half way around the world. What's the harm/fear in that? The disrespect is just with basic etiquette. edit: A key concept here is "Presence". Forget the bed, I'd be annoyed if my gf is constantly texting at dinner, or while watching a movie. Be PRESENT when spending time with someone. Otherwise, why bother getting together in the first place? I have little tolerance for people who chose to chat on the phone or text while they're with me. Me and my husband have very little time together due to his long work schedule. If he gets a call from a family member when we are home and we are watching TV or talking he knows to make the call quick or let it go to VM. OP: Dump that girl ASAP.
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