dmomar Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Our relationship ended because I feel like we were both going through our own issues. We both agreed that maybe we should have just stayed friends. Can we ever go back to that? We used to be best friends. We dated for 3 months and were friends for a year.
MightyPen Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 It's going to be really really really difficult. If there is any chance of it happening (and I doubt there is), I think you would both be well served to take a total break from each other for a while. I'm talking months...three, maybe six. Then see if your brains have reset themselves to friendship mode. But if either of you have even a shred...just a shred!...of romantic feelings for the other..even if it's just dwelling on any of the "good times" I don't think you can be friends again. Being romantic, even just for a few months, changes forever how you look at someone.
Toodaloo Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 It's going to be really really really difficult. If there is any chance of it happening (and I doubt there is), I think you would both be well served to take a total break from each other for a while. I'm talking months...three, maybe six. Then see if your brains have reset themselves to friendship mode. But if either of you have even a shred...just a shred!...of romantic feelings for the other..even if it's just dwelling on any of the "good times" I don't think you can be friends again. Being romantic, even just for a few months, changes forever how you look at someone. What they said. Yes it is possible but you need time apart to fully heal and accept this is the way it is and get rid of any pent up sexual feelings.
Raina314 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 If you really care deeply about each other and the breakup was civil and amicable then yes, it is possible. It also depends on what kind of people you are. But I've managed to stay friends with all of my exes, and I'm glad I did. It takes work and you probably should spend some time apart first, but it is possible.
Brando Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Ya, sure why not? I have exes who I consider friends I guess, but we are just civil. We don't hang out or anything....more like just check in here and there every once in long while. Once one of you get into a new relationship how will those people feel about you 2 being friends? There's a lot of variables. I would just give it space and time and see what happens naturally instead of worrying about if you can be friends or not.
Silver_star Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I think in the case of the OP you could totally be friends again. Give it a little while with limited contact, and then reach out to them again (if there are truly no romantic feelings anymore). You had a friendship before the relationship, that is the foundation of your relationship, and not your romance, and it didn't end poorly where you were awful to each other..so I think there is no reason why you couldn't be friends.
Author dmomar Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 We broke up in October. I was mad at him for a while because I felt like if I cant make it with my best friend, what guy can I. He had communication issues and sometimes disappeared when he was stressed. I needed communication for reassurance in the relationship. Ultimately the lack of communication is why we broke up. We had like 2 months of NC then he texted me around December. We stopped texting and now after another month of NC we're kind of talking again. I'm not really sure how to address it?
Raina314 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 My ex did the same thing. Had communication issues, disappeared when stressed, etc... If you feel like you can remain firm in your decision to stay broken up, it's not necessarily a bad thing that you're talking to him now. I feel like too often, people advise that exes can never be friends and really shout you down with "GET THIS TOXIC PERSON OUT OF YOUR LIFE REMOVE REMOVE" sorts of messages. While this is often sound advice, especially if the ex was abusive or cheated or did something really disrespectful and unkind, I do think it's sort of over-recommended for situations like yours where both people just decided they had their own issues they needed to work through. Your guy had communication issues, but it doesn't mean he was a total ******* and he probably knows that you aren't either. So while NC is important for healing time, it truly doesn't need to be forever if your ex wasn't a bad person.
mightycpa Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 It doesn't sound like you fell in love with each other. As a result, I don't see what the problem is, especially if you both honestly feel this was an undertaking that should never have been undertaken. Ask him to go sport****ing with you as each others' wingman. If he says yes, you have your answer.
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